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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The next door neighbour, the new fence and the question - are we being unreasonable?

55 replies

zazas · 28/03/2021 21:33

This is a strange one (well for us at least!) - not sure if anything that has been done is not ‘OK' but it’s very weird…and a bit annoying and of course checking that we not just being unreasonable?!

Our next door neighbour moved in about 7 months ago. Our properties share a retaining wall that is at the back our house and at the side of their garden. At one end, the wall is only about 2 feet tall and the other end, as the garden slopes up is about 7 feet tall - the top of the wall is level with their garden. It is a little bit of a strange set up due to it being previous farmland / cottages (from the 1840s) so the plots are not uniform (as per my diagram). We have lived here 13 years and the previous owner of the neighbour's house didn't replace a small trellis style, 3 ft fence when it blew down about 10 years ago. That fence was placed on her land inside the retaining wall.

The back of our house overlooks their garden completely (as do the other houses) which is not ideal for them but it is the way it is. When they moved in we introduced ourselves and in his words, "You seem like a nice lady, I might not then build a 2 metre fence then." We had no concerns with them building a fence as obviously they also overlook our back garden when they are in their garden.

Now he has built the fence - absolutely fine.

However this is where we are confused...he has built the fence about 2 feet away from the actual retaining wall - the actual edge of his property. Even more perplexing is that he hasn't actually taken the fence right up to the wall at the end of the garden leaving about 3 feet that is open to his garden (as in the picture from our window). Once again we were, 'OK, strange but hey ho." However now he has started to come behind the wall and dump his garden rubbish in the space between the wall and the retaining wall. At first it was just an extra concrete pole left over from the fence, then it was small rocks from the flower beds he was clearing out, then it was uprooted plants and twigs, then large slates and general small bits of rubbish - plastic bits from gardening supplies etc. It now looks quite the mess and the dumped stuff is actually starting to be in places higher than the retaining wall.

To top it all off our window from the dining end of the kitchen overlooks this part of the wall and as our house is only a few feet away from it, not only do we see the dumped stuff we also were granted recently the delight of him going into that space while we were having lunch and dumping it - and with him being two feet higher on his land, when he bent over (he wears no underwear and he wears his joggers hanging off so most of his butt is exposed) we were given a right eye fill! The fact my daughter has to look at his exposed butt from her window whenever he’s in the garden is another story!

Ignoring the butt view, it is the fence not up to the boundary, the gap and the dumping that is just so strange!

We really don't want talk to him if we can help it. When he moved it we explained (neighbourly kindly) that if he parked his large van on the small road, to be aware that often large delivery / oil trucks drive down it and wouldn’t get through. He got really aggressive and said that no one tells what to do. We just left it…Other than that no interaction.

So do we ignore him and the rising mound of rubbish. Do we just take it away ourselves so to keep it level and OK to look at? Or do we also put up a fence to block him / keep the mess out? If we do, do we erect it against the retaining wall on our side or do we put it on top of the retaining wall or on the top edge of the retaining wall - where he should have built the wall originally. Or are we just unreasonable and it is his land, can do what he wants and we need to just live with it?

The next door neighbour, the new fence and the question - are we being unreasonable?
The next door neighbour, the new fence and the question - are we being unreasonable?
OP posts:
Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 28/03/2021 22:26

@LindsayDenton79

I'd put up a really high fence and paint CUNT on his side of it
🤣 if you decide to go with this OP please come back with an update and photo!
zazas · 28/03/2021 22:28

@SoWhyNot

YABU but I can completely see why it annoys you and it would me as well. I’d probably put up another fence right at the side of your boundary. Although if he is dumping stuff there, the likelihood is the space between two fences will just give him a higher space to fill. If he puts anything edible in there, he will be inviting rodents in and I’d also be concerned about the rubbish rotting the bottoms of fence panels.
I was thinking of a trellis style so nothing much could rest against it - although his fence has concrete slabs at the bottom - maybe this was his plan all along!!!
OP posts:
Shrivelled · 28/03/2021 22:29

No idea who is or isn’t being unreasonable but I have to say the quality of that diagram is exceptional 👏🏻 Different line weights, shading, typed annotation... 10/10

Lou98 · 28/03/2021 22:32

I can definitely see why you would be annoyed, however, as it is technically his land, he can do this. You can't remove the rubbish without his permission either.

If he's dumping food etc and it could cause a problem with rodents, bugs etc then phone environmental health, but from your OP it sounds as though it's garden rubbish (slates, plants etc) in which case there isn't anything you can do about that. Best option would be to build your own fence, although it is a pain that you have to

zazas · 28/03/2021 22:33

@Shrivelled

No idea who is or isn’t being unreasonable but I have to say the quality of that diagram is exceptional 👏🏻 Different line weights, shading, typed annotation... 10/10
Thanks - I am reasonably good at diagrams! And for the record he is definitely unreasonable Smile
OP posts:
yoyo1234 · 28/03/2021 22:36

Brilliant diagramsGrin. Seems to be his land so he can pretty much do what he wants. A tall fence or hedge on your land is all you can really do. Rather inconsiderate of him though.

LolaButt · 28/03/2021 22:38

Omg the diagram is exactly the same as my house. I got all excited for a minute and thought I had a thread about me! Especially as I’ve not long moved in.

In this situation I’m the neighbour. I also have the neighbours retaining wall and then my own fence in front of it with a gap invetween. I caught my neighbour disposing of garden rubbish into the gap which I found quite upsetting as it’s disrespectful.

My plan is to attach wire/mesh to my fence at the top so that any shit thrown down there sits on top. Then I will throw it back.

zazas · 28/03/2021 22:40

@Lou98

I can definitely see why you would be annoyed, however, as it is technically his land, he can do this. You can't remove the rubbish without his permission either.

If he's dumping food etc and it could cause a problem with rodents, bugs etc then phone environmental health, but from your OP it sounds as though it's garden rubbish (slates, plants etc) in which case there isn't anything you can do about that. Best option would be to build your own fence, although it is a pain that you have to

I thought as much - as I explained to my DH - (who was getting a bit het up about it all) it is just beyond comprehension to me, why he would do this? When he first put it up (a week ago) it was all so neat - just a nice layer of stones behind the fence on our side. I thought I could just move the rubbish a tiny bit at a time and see if he noticed - just to keep it neat! He would never know surely? I will keep an eye on the food - I can't really see this happening (she says) as his actual house is no where near this area. It is also strange as he told the other neighbour that he was building the fence to keep his grandchildren safe when they visit - it certainly isn't safe with a big gap.
OP posts:
SourMilkGhyll · 28/03/2021 22:41

I would go for the prickly hedge option if you can. Over time it will grow into the space and block it.

JackieWeaverFever · 28/03/2021 22:41

I would be weary about putting up another fence because if wet mulchy decomposing stuff is pressed up against it it might got the fence.
The guy is a grade A asshole from the sounds of it

Felifox · 28/03/2021 22:52

Have you thought of a pleached hedge along that wall, ie a line of trees where there is a stem or trunk and then the upper branches are trained to grow into a hedge say a metre above the wall? It's very common in Giverny with hornbeam. But I'd look at doing it with photinia or ragged Robin as I think that would be pretty. You can underplant then against the wall.

I can see why your dd doesn't want to see what your ndn's had for lunch (expression for showing your b**t h&le.)

44PumpLane · 28/03/2021 22:53

Oh my god OP, your diagram is a thing of beauty!!!
Also I'd be so pissed off about this.... Unfortunately though I think the fence is your best bet.

Felifox · 28/03/2021 22:57

@JackieWeaverFever You forgot to mention the rats it could attract. My ndn's cat is a brilliant ratter, had to make sure he doesn't get into mine at nightGrin

TokyoSushi · 28/03/2021 22:58

Now here is somebody who understands 'the rules' of MN, if there was an award for the best ever diagram, you would win it, plus bonus points for accompanying picture!!

You're neighbour sounds like a right weirdo, I think you might have to build your own fence!

Laulauwim · 28/03/2021 22:58

Full marks for the diagram OP.

I’m no planning expert but I wonder if he has put the fence on his land due to the height of it. It would be higher than allowed in planning restrictions so it may be an attempt to circumvent that. God knows why he’s dumping rubbish back there though. I’d definitely put a fence or screening hedging on your side. We had nightmare neighbours on a raised plot and leilandi (sp?) grew really quickly.

UhtredRagnarson · 28/03/2021 23:00

Ooh you could build a little rat obstacle course. Put in a big hamster wheel, some ropes for them to gnaw on and then when neighbour asks what the hell you are doing you tell him you spotted some rats in his rubbish so you thought you’d make it nice for them. He’ll move his rubbish away from the crazy lady.

zazas · 28/03/2021 23:01

@Felifox

Have you thought of a pleached hedge along that wall, ie a line of trees where there is a stem or trunk and then the upper branches are trained to grow into a hedge say a metre above the wall? It's very common in Giverny with hornbeam. But I'd look at doing it with photinia or ragged Robin as I think that would be pretty. You can underplant then against the wall.

I can see why your dd doesn't want to see what your ndn's had for lunch (expression for showing your b**t h&le.)

Love that idea - off to research! Thank you.
OP posts:
WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 28/03/2021 23:07

@Easterbunnygettingready

Environment health and say you have seen rats.
Yep!!! That's what I'd do.
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 28/03/2021 23:08
  1. erect a fence on your side of the boundary.

  2. wonderful diagram OP. Well done you.

FlibbertyGiblets · 28/03/2021 23:08

Wild applause for the diagram.

zazas · 28/03/2021 23:08

@Laulauwim

Full marks for the diagram OP.

I’m no planning expert but I wonder if he has put the fence on his land due to the height of it. It would be higher than allowed in planning restrictions so it may be an attempt to circumvent that. God knows why he’s dumping rubbish back there though. I’d definitely put a fence or screening hedging on your side. We had nightmare neighbours on a raised plot and leilandi (sp?) grew really quickly.

The height is all OK (not that I am becoming an expert on fences or anything here Wink) and it is definitely on his land - but why o why the dumping of rubbish - he is taking plenty of rubbish out so no idea why he wants to 'share' this bit with us!
OP posts:
MixedUpFiles · 28/03/2021 23:16

Are there any local bylaws about rubbish heaps, grass length, etc? Where I am this is easy. He can have a compost heap, but it has to meet regulations for being well kept and it can’t be within a certain number of feet of the boundary or of any structure. It’s to prevent against rodent infestations.

So I would start with your local rules and see if there is anything there at all you can use.

SynchroSwimmer · 28/03/2021 23:25

Great diagram.

He sounds so selfish, but I love to try and help with ideas for solutions (having dealt with similar myself)

Would you have an opportunity to “bump into him” - to chat when he is putting his bins out or something, and ask him cheerily how he found the “ground conditions” (thinking the ground conditions when they dug for the fence might have precluded him going closer to the wall perhaps?)....then depending on his response, there might be an opening to talk about your view of his rubbish from your main living areas/
I like the expression “you are probably not aware but.....how it drops over into your garden/keeps blowing over in in the wind/causes a nuisance)....you will then get a clearer idea of his attitude going forwards?

Closely cropped pyracantha growing hard against your wall and upwards might also suit? - decorative berries in the autumn, can also choose decorative bicoloured leaf versions.

I am about to challenge a neighbour who is throwing all his garden rubbish over into mine. Going to ask him to have a word with his gardener about it. (He hasn’t got a “gardener” 😂 - but it’s my way of telling him to stop)

Justilou1 · 28/03/2021 23:31

If you build a fence his rubbish will just be placed up higher. Call the council. It’s a health hazard!

ilikefastcars · 28/03/2021 23:34

Report to environmental health.