is this wrong?

[Flowers24]

Im exhausted, caring for an unwell husband , mum of teens , i have washing to do, cleaning, cooking , cats just been sick and am the only earner at the moment out of dh and I (eldest working pt though), I am still clearing up and been thinking of my cold glass of wine since 5pm, i need it , so badly is this wrong ?? Are there others frazzled out there???

Have the wine ffs

Stop cleaning and have the wine. You sound like you're run ragged. Going forward, can you enlist the help of the teens to chip in with housework if your DH isn't able?

for you

Mum of teens? Put a rota in place and get them to pull their weight...put a wash on, make a dinner, load and unload dishwasher, put out a line of clothes (or into dryer even easier!) Make their own beds, bathroom cleaned once a week, polishing and hoovering done too. They are not babies and you should be able to sit down and enjoy a glass of wine with teenagers. I would have done all of those jobs and more while minding my younger siblings. Don't be a martyr.

I hope your DH will be ok and you enjoy your wine x

Thanks, i am struggling, dh cant do much at the moment so running about getting meals, drinks, making sure he has his medication. Kids are typical lazy teens, will do if i ask but it will be hours later and i cant bear the kitchen a mess all evening! Still cleaning now but am going to run myself a bath and pour that wine.
Anyone else in same situation?

To clarify teens will not be drinking the wine, I meant you should have the time to do it when you've teenagers in the house as opposed to smallies who need help with everything

I mean this very kindly, but ffs stop martyring yourself.

I have three dc, two dogs and usually a FT job and I am always sat on my arse with a glass of wine by about 7pm.

How much clearing up can there possibly be to do?

Kids are typical lazy teens, will do if i ask but it will be hours later

In this house none of us relax whilst there’s chores to be done. What are your teens doing whilst you’re run ragged?

One is doing an assignment for college (due tomorrow) other is out for a walk.....just had a ton of washing up to do, dining table to clear etc

We used to have huge fights and dramas over washing up.

The rule now (for about the last six months) is that no one leaves the kitchen until it’s all done. Takes ten minutes tops.

Caring for your DH must take a toll though; is it likely to be long term or is he going to be better soon? If long term then you need to get better systems in place for chores. You can’t do it all yourself.

No, you are in this because you let yourself be in it!
Get tough with your kids. I'm a single parent two teens. Eldest does his own cooking, ironing and bedding changeovers etc, my daughter is also responsible for bedding and keeping her room clean (if they don't, their problem). One of them walks the dogs daily, and vacuums once a week. Kitchen cleaning can be a bit hit or miss but gets done.
Mother doesn't mean slave.

Yep, well he will need help for most of the year as he is recovering from multiple surgeries.
I admit im my own worst enemy as i like to wizz about the kitchen and get it all done, but then i am too tired and struggle, need to get the kids helping I know...

Assignments are important but laying a table, loading a dishwasher, putting washing into a dryer, sweeping a floor take but five minutes.
Your child that went for a walk could have been told to go for a walk after unloading the dishwasher.
Your child that has an assignment due could just take five minutes to sweep the floor.

Don't let yourself be walked over by flimsy excuses. If you're old enough to write an essay, you're old enough to strip your bed and wash it.

Loving your username !

Teens do their own laundry and bedding (and change the sheets), clean their rooms etc.
Have you got space/ cash for a dishwasher?
Rota for everything else. If they have assignments they need to manage their time or negotiate a swap.

Don’t be a mug.

My teens rooms are a tip so i let them get on with it....they change their own beds,
Eldest says a few times if i need help just ask ! I need to ask and stop trying to do it all myself.

Bloody hell Flowers get in that bath and drink that wine

Ha ha on my way up those stairs now, wine in hand ....

I don't think cleaning my kitchen has ever taken an hour.. do you not have a dishwasher?

Hi - no dishwasher, normally takes me 10 mins to wash up and wipe down, but this time had loads of pots and pans and other stuff.

Let the teens do their own washing. One less thing for you to do - see if you can agree that they both do one load a week on a certain day, if you have 'systems' you don't want messing up.

Cook easier quicker food that doesn't leave loads of pots and pans. Dishes that use one pot or pan. Tray bakes. Have something like egg on toast, supermarket quiche and salad, baked potatoes for some meals. Quick and easy. Also cook double/batch cook etc, so you don't have to cook so often. Will each of the teens cook one meal a week each? Take them up on their 'if you need help, ask' offer.

Also they could help with vacuuming and bathroom cleaning. None if it takes long, it's just overwhelming if all left to one person.

Thanks some great ideas here x