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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Narcissistic mother threatening to leave again

1 reply

AquaFaba · 28/03/2021 20:17

Am alternating between feeling fed up and zoned out. Handhold please.

Difficult and anxious childhood - narcissistic parents who were physically and mentally abusive to each other. Bulimic as a teenager - just wanted to get out and away from the situation.

Am now 45 with two very small children; like everyone, am tired out by lockdown and pulled in every which direction with work commitments.

Have been trying to be supportive of mother, who (like everyone) is finding it hard - but her behaviour is causing me immense anxiety.
Now threatening to divorce my father.
It's the same old, same old lobbing of emotional psycho drama grenades to make everyone take attention.
But I'm tired and I'm just now really fed up with it all. I have two small children and responsibilities elsewhere - I can't and won't get sucked into the drama.
I've tried to keep her motivated during lockdown, but she refuses to help herself and join online courses etc.
On one hand, my way of coping is to mentally draw a boundary and focus on my own life and children.....but at the same time, I have the same tangible ball of anxiety in my tummy that I had as an eight year old.
I'm 45 and tired of it all.

OP posts:
1Morewineplease · 28/03/2021 20:25

Your way of coping is excellent.
That you feel 8 years old again needs addressing.
It sounds like this is an ongoing situation but you cannot change this. It's THEIR problem, not yours anymore.
I strongly suggest finding a counsellor to offload all of this. It sounds like you've been harbouring this for too long.
It's not up to you to support your mother after all of this time. You should be focussing on your own family. You should not be feeling guilty.

Please find someone to talk to.
💐

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