Annoying 'regular' phone calls from sibling

[Grrr202154]

I live away from family... My siblings never really made much of an effort to regularly call to chat over the years until lockdown & until I fell pregnant
Anyway the one sibling is incredibly tedious, has taken to calling once per week like it's a flipping diarised event... Joy sucker... Nothing much to say, always talks over me, has this 'higher than thou' tone of voice, just generally annoying. If they do open up about what's going on either doesn't want to talk about it or won't listen to my thoughts etc... So what's the flipping point? I actually dread these calls, it's like the great elderly aunt calling each week it's awful really.
I don't mind talking to her now and then but each week is just to much, AIBU?

You can divert numbers on your phone to go straight to answerphone. Text and say you're busy and will call later.

I'm that annoying aunt to my siblings and now don't phone them at all and haven't for several years. Tricks my siblings did to discourage me from calling:

Eat noisily on the phone for the duration of the call. My sister would buy a large packet of crisps and crunch into the phone. Crisps can be substituted for anything crunchy and loud.

Get someone to call on another line after a few minutes. She would get her son to call her home phone or mobile and say she had to go to answer the other call.

Say you're in the middle of a film and want to get back to it.

Say you're out of battery and will call back some other time. Then don't.

Or do what I eventually did, block their numbers and don't talk to them again.

@greycloudysky I don't want to go NC Just wish she would ring less like maybe every 2-3 weeks. I wouldn't mind it being so much often if she did just as much listening as she did talking! I wouldn't mind if she actually didn't huff and puff when she was bored of me talking... She's very odd really. We're two very different people. I don't think think we'd be friends out of choice if we weren't sisters.

So don’t answer every time. If you do, she thinks you want to talk to her. As a pp said, text a busy message, speak next week then pick up once every fortnight/3/4 weeks whatever.

@Cherrysoup oh I already do.... She's very persistent and obtuse!

@Grrr202154 so he equally obtuse and don’t answer the calls! What happens if you persist in not answering?

Are you ever wanting to phone her?

@1Morewineplease I probably would but she beats me to it! I just don't enjoy talking with her.
@Cherrysoup I do, and she asks questions.. I try to be polite because I don't want any unpleasantness especially when pregnant. We've argued a few times over the years over the phone and I have just don't want to go there again. She's pretty rubbish at seeing other people's perspectives and can be very nasty when she wants to be, it's always my fault etc etc.

I think I’d withdraw by not picking up the phone.

I've actually tried to block her calls but she manages to leave an answer phone message.... It just winds me up now. I've not blocked her on WhatsApp and suggested we text on that to build up the relationship, she's quite old fashioned and I don't think she wants to do that.. She's just super annoying now... Raises my blood pressure every time she calls and I wish she'd take the hint.

I think that you might need to block her on everything if you don’t want to hear from her.
You need to decide how much contact that you’d like from your family and delete accordingly.

Have you actually told her that all she does is offload? Don’t “hint” spell it out.
You can tell her you don’t mind I’d she needs to just talk at you but can it be once every few weeks instead.
She might not realise she’s bring utterly tedious. It doesn’t hurt to tell people why it’s not working for you. Avoiding them causes more issues and makes you seem like the problem.

What’s this change in behaviour about do you think?

Does she have DC? Is she teeing you up for when the baby comes?

Is she older than you?

Is it likely that you are the last man standing - ie others are not now taking her calls because she is socially inept / tedious.

Why put yourself through this.

As PP said be as obtuse and persistent as she is in swerving her.

One of my siblings calls me when Her husband is at home football matches (ore covid). It took a while for me to realise. Felt as though she was lonely so she called me. It upset me she didn’t ever call at any other time. Interestingly she still calls at roughly the same time even though her dh is right there in lockdown not watching a match.
Hmm
Sympathise op.

@HeronLanyon she's a pain in the arse and never sympathises with me so no.

I meant I sympathise with you op.

Can you bring in some headphones so you can hear her and speak to her but do some gardening or the washing up while she's rabbiting away? I do this when annoying people call!

@HeronLanyon oh sorry! Misread that completely then 😂

good reminder not to use shorthand when it can be completely taken a different way ! You must have thought I was being astonishingly rude and abrupt!!!
That’s really made me laugh.
😂

Good reminder FOR ME not to use shorthand etc.

@HeronLanyon I'll forgive you I'll blame my excessive tiredness for misreading haha! X

It is very difficult to understand why you answer the phone to this woman . And then complain about it! Just stop picking up.

Answer when you want to answer and no more.

Try to enjoy getting your own back on her bombasticness .

I sometimes sit and talk when Siblings ring, but since I have had to adapt to doing a lot of calls on the mobile at home, I am using my headphones a lot more, even for non-work calls. So I can get on with prepping veg for dinner and "uh huh" away to the caller, or sit in the garden with a G&T when weather is ok, or be working on my knitting while making suitable "I;m listening" sounds.....

OK, you can't have a G&T at the moment, but a cup of tea and a sudoku could suffice.

It has been a game changer, especially for 1 particular DSibling who wants to keep the family together but is getting more and more "grumpy old woman" and oddly judgemental about many things as we hit middle age.....she has a lot less life experience in the things that matter to a few of us but is always ready with advice on it....but never wants to hear advice herself, and really often rings at precisely the wrong time. (I have occasionally also not answered that DSibling when it has been inconvenient, usually I get an earful later when I do ring back, but I really can't answer most of those times and she cannot understand that!)