Embarrassed or should he apologise?

[FuckingFabulous]

I've posted about DH before, so I'd be very interested in hearing from those posters with experience of ADHD, but also anyone with experience of male partners!

DH was outside staining the shed and I handed him his dinner as he had asked to have it out there. He took it from me. I went back inside and started sorting out the school uniforms for tomorrow.

DH came stomping in up the stairs and raised his voice at me, declaring "I'm not bloody hungry anymore!!!" I was a bit taken aback and asked what was wrong with the food. He said "I don't know! Could be loads! I won't ever know, because I sat in it and now I can't eat it!" In a very accusatory tone! I told him that's unfortunate but it's not my fault. He responded furiously that I ought not to have handed it to him when he was so busy! I pointed out to him that at the point I handed it to him, he was drinking a coffee and catching up on Facebook and that I still failed to see how it was my fault and why he thought he could come in and blame me for his mistake. He then ranted that he has no clean trousers for work. I wordlessly handed him a clean stack of about six pairs. He scowled and stomped off to collect some tools from BIL and has just texted me saying "Is my staining brush clean or has it been left in the sink and been ruined?" He's been gone ten minutes and mentioned precisely fuck all about a brush. And I'm not his personal brush cleaner!!

Is he just embarrassed and cross about ruining his dinner and should I roll my eyes and ignore it or is he being a twat who ought to apologise unreservedly?

"I won't ever know, because I sat in it and now I can't eat it!"

lol, what an idiot

'I hope your arse enjoyed it then, because it's all you're getting.'
And then this look: 🙄

What was his dinner?

I think you said in your previous thread about the laptop that he was going to the GP to get his medication reviewed. Has that happened?

My DH has ADHD too and I could totally imagine him forgetting his dinner was there and sitting in it but no way would he blame me for it. That's not ADHD that's just being a d**k.

Fuck all to do with ADHD. it's bad attitude and nothing else. All his problem. Leave him to it and don't get involved.

I've seen the other posts - seems like he's using ADHD to explain away all his bad behaviour.

I have ADHD and I run a house and don't go around sitting in my dinner and blaming people for it

He should be making more of a contribution - you're doing the cooking, the cleaning, he's expecting you to be on top of his tools, and treating you like shit on top of it.

You should stop doing all of this for him as you're clearly not living up to his high standards. See what happens then.

He's returned home and apologised profusely for "being a massive prick", eaten the sat in dinner and I've told him he needs to explain why he was so horrible just then. But I'll see the kids to bed first.

ADHD doesn’t make you unable to take responsibility for your own actions.

He might find life less stressful if he does some research into ADHD and adapts his lifestyle accordingly. That is not the same as being allowed to treat others badly. Hopefully he’s going to come home with a full apology and you can talk it through once he’s calmed down.

(Also, I do the households washing but if my dp ever spoke to me like that about it I’d never do his washing again and would be tempted to chop all his clothes into pieces and then arrange them on the lawn to spell I’M NOT YOUR FUCKING SLAVE).

I’m glad he came home and apologised! :)

Can you explain why you think that would be useful? Like most people on Mumsnet, I only post here when I've got something to discuss. Most of the time it's plain sailing.

This has been you third post in a matter of weeks. How many more time do you have to post beofre you realise what a monumental twat he is and stop blaming it on his ADHD

@FuckingFabulous

He's returned home and apologised profusely for "being a massive prick", eaten the sat in dinner and I've told him he needs to explain why he was so horrible just then. But I'll see the kids to bed first.

Oh that is good - at least now you can enjoy the moral high ground

He sounds like a prick, ADHD or not. He doesn't get to blow up at you for no reason then expect a pathetic apology to be enough. Your posting history points to him being awful a lot of the time.

He needs strategies to get in control of his toddler like emotions.

Hahaha didums be sat in his dinner. I find that quite funny tbh.
ADHD aside he's just an abusive cock.

I wouldn't cook for him again until he apologised.

Also tell him he's not going to have clean trousers if he keeps sitting in his dinner .

What an embarrassing twat!

@Royalbloo

I wouldn't cook for him again until he apologised.

He has apologised.

My DP has ADHD he would probably forget his dinner and do that but never blame me for it. ADHD doesn’t make you act like a d**k. You can also contribute to house chores and clean your own trousers. Don’t let him blame his ADHD he was clearly upset about something completely unrelated and decided to blow up.

@FuckingFabulous

I've posted about DH before, so I'd be very interested in hearing from those posters with experience of ADHD, but also anyone with experience of male partners!

DH was outside staining the shed and I handed him his dinner as he had asked to have it out there. He took it from me. I went back inside and started sorting out the school uniforms for tomorrow.

DH came stomping in up the stairs and raised his voice at me, declaring "I'm not bloody hungry anymore!!!" I was a bit taken aback and asked what was wrong with the food. He said "I don't know! Could be loads! I won't ever know, because I sat in it and now I can't eat it!" In a very accusatory tone! I told him that's unfortunate but it's not my fault. He responded furiously that I ought not to have handed it to him when he was so busy! I pointed out to him that at the point I handed it to him, he was drinking a coffee and catching up on Facebook and that I still failed to see how it was my fault and why he thought he could come in and blame me for his mistake. He then ranted that he has no clean trousers for work. I wordlessly handed him a clean stack of about six pairs. He scowled and stomped off to collect some tools from BIL and has just texted me saying "Is my staining brush clean or has it been left in the sink and been ruined?" He's been gone ten minutes and mentioned precisely fuck all about a brush. And I'm not his personal brush cleaner!!

Is he just embarrassed and cross about ruining his dinner and should I roll my eyes and ignore it or is he being a twat who ought to apologise unreservedly?

Option 3. Divorce him