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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Will you be letting your teens out tomorrow

31 replies

JackieFever · 28/03/2021 11:36

Hello, I know we're all excited for the lockdown to ease tomorrow however I'm wondering how others are feeling about it and whether just because we can, does it mean we should.

I have asthma which I struggle with daily however not clinically vulnerable I guess because they took asthma off the list. I'm also overweight.

I have not had my vaccine yet

ds13 is wanting to go out tomorrow with his mates to the park.
I think legally this will be allowed because of the rule of 6 (not sure how many kids would be there Id need to check) but I doubt there will be any social distancing going on as I know they don't really give a shit in general as DS has been asking repeatedly to go out with several mates for weeks but we've been following the guidelines so its been a no.

I know they see each other at school but Id rather limit my risk.

He does get to go out on his bike daily, has his gaming, and chats with his mates on there, etc so he's ok and in good spirits

I'm really worrying about tomorrow and being even more exposed because I haven't had my vaccine yet and I'm also worried that if I say to wait until my vaccine ill be even more the bloody 'bad guy'

Aibu to say to my kids that they can wait til I've had my vaccine (I'm 35) or is that really unfair and I should just say nothing and take the risk. My mil nearly died a few weeks ago with covid and it was horrible, frightening and I'm absolutely dreading getting it.

atm, I'm struggling at home because I have 3 ds and 1 dp and feeling very unappreciated, overworked, trying to run a business, and doing all the housework and all I get is moaned at constantly for this and the other. I feel like if I said I haven't had the vaccine yet and I'm worried,but it's their choice they'd just fuck off out anyway because I'm pretty sure none of them don't give two shits about me really. Also, have a mark on my boob that I noticed Friday evening so waiting to call the doctor on Monday about that. Just mentally got a lot on my mind but I don't want to upset or damage my kids because of my own worries, especially so if they're unreasonable.

OP posts:

pointythings · 28/03/2021 11:38

If they're at school with each other every day and lateral flow testing, where is the increased risk? I'm all for being cautious, but teens' mental health has to be taken into account as well.

Forevernamechange12333333 · 28/03/2021 11:40

Realistically the vaccine could be months off for you with the April shortage issues coming..... him seeing his friends is no different to school. Probably comes across more kids at school than he will seeing friends tomorrow.

You’ve got to think of his MH also .

Let him go out.

LuaDipa · 28/03/2021 11:44

I think it’s a bit unfair if he is at school. He will be seeing the same friends there so I don’t think there is any increased risk. My kids are so looking forward to seeing their friends socially and I couldn’t take that away from them.

The housework and lack of support from your dp are a different issue and you do need to tell your family how you feel. You shouldn’t have to do everything.

Alb1 · 28/03/2021 11:44

YABU you need to let him go out, sounds like he’s already sacrificed a little as he’s been allowed to meet with one friend at a park for weeks. But if he’s taking the mick with not helping around the house etc it’s the perfect time to try and change that, he can go out with friends once he’s done chores. He’s mixing at school anyway, should already be having twice weekly lateral flow tests and is plenty old enough to wash his hands reliable when he comes back home.

PineappleCat · 28/03/2021 11:46

So you'll risk sending him to school? But won't let him play out his mates legally? YABU.

Neolara · 28/03/2021 11:47

If he's seeing his school friends outside, I'd imagine the risk of transmission is much less than him seeing them at school. I think you should let him go to the park.

CovoidOfAllHumanity · 28/03/2021 11:48

Our school said to keep up with the twice weekly LFTs over the holidays which I think is a good idea and maybe a bit reassuring but I guess you have no control over if they are all doing it but you can make him.

Outside is a lot less risk than inside
Do teen boys do a lot of hugging anyway?

Strangekindofwoman · 28/03/2021 11:48

Of course you let him go out with his mates.

Original poster

JackieFever · 28/03/2021 11:50

Thanks all I suspected I was bu. I'm not in the best of mental states atm. I want to leave and I'm making plans for that. I've just literally had enough. Thanks for the shake

OP posts:

sunflowersandbuttercups · 28/03/2021 11:51

Of course!

Besides, him being at school is a much bigger risk than him hanging around outside with his mates.

Doyoumindfisithere · 28/03/2021 11:53

I would, not because there is no extra risk - everything extra is extra risk - but because that risk is currently lower than it was last Oct/Nov and therefore I feel the benefits outweigh the risks.

But I would ask him to wear a mask and keep distance, because that is normal at the moment.

Keepingitreal14 · 28/03/2021 11:53

IF he’s in school then Yes you ABU.

If he’s not in school then I can definitely see your point. Maybe allow him one or two friends he can meet regularly but just those to limit the interaction.

viques · 28/03/2021 11:53

I have visions of the nations teens being released into local parks like Countryfile baby lambs let into a field for the first time. It’s a lovely thought, the forecast is for a sunny day tomorrow, hope they all enjoy gambolling and kicking up their heels.

intheenddoesitreallymatter · 28/03/2021 11:55

Hideously unfair.

Let him go and see his friends. We’ve all lost enough time, he won’t be a teenager much longer.

Brieminewine · 28/03/2021 11:55

Yes let him out, children have missed out on so much it’s time to get life back to some normality.

FlyingBurrito · 28/03/2021 11:58

My teens have been meeting individual friends for bike rides or walks for some weeks now, the risk outside in miniscule and imo way way less than the negative effects of never leaving the house.

FlyingBurrito · 28/03/2021 11:59

And the streets and parks near me have been full of children of all ages for quite some time now.

BrumBoo · 28/03/2021 12:01

I live close to a secondary school. Watching the kids walking home, it looks more like a herd of buffalo than small groups of teens. In the walk home it's obvious that all social distancing is completely forgotten about, it's part of the reason that it was laughable that people didn't see a second wave coming past September.

In that respect, I think you're unreasonable. Honestly, the way kids mix, it's almost pointless to place the rules on them anyway.

maddiemookins16mum · 28/03/2021 12:02

Oh come on, do you honestly think teens have not been out of the house mixing with their pals throughout the last year? There at school too.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 28/03/2021 12:03

I think you should let him. The poor kids have been locked up so long!

LaceyBetty · 28/03/2021 12:05

Absolutely will let my kids out. I'm a rule follower and have been following them all along, but will take all the liberties open to us when things open up.

DoubleDeckerSwimmer · 28/03/2021 12:06

They will be going to school and if they spend some time with a few friends in the park on the way home, I will be very pleased for them.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 28/03/2021 12:09

You need to let him go out. Your risk of catching covid and being seriously ill with it, at 35, is miniscule, even with asthma. It's not fair to put this anxiety on him.

BlusteryLake · 28/03/2021 12:09

My teens and all their friends are testing twice a week, so meeting up with a bunch of people who have all tested negative consistently for weeks is probably the safest group to meet with. Much lower risk than going to the shops.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 28/03/2021 12:10

Im glad you clarified you only have 1dp

Seriously though, I understand your concerns but yabu.

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