To think she should just have left him?

[Hottesttrikeintown]

This is none of my business except I am being an ear to cry on a lot and becoming a bit frustrated

One of my best friends and family friend (dh’s also best friends) found out her dh was having an affair with someone from work. This was just before Christmas 2018

He left to be with her in Jan. it was awful and she was distraught. He came back after a few days. Since then he’s left and come back numerous times. Each time promising he’ll have nothing more to do with her. Until she finds out the next time that they’re still in contact. He’s left his job so doesn’t work with her. She checks his phone and he’s blocked her but she’s now found another messaging app he’s using to be in contact with her.

I sympathise and I’m there for her but Aibu to think that nearly 3 years in and he’s still finding ways to contact her it’s not going to end and she should cut her losses. He’s a dick obviously and they have 3 dc who are clearly unsettled by all the to and froing

YANBU. And I would tell her this, then cut back on the tea and sympathy. You can only do so much.

Yes. I’m not sure it is actually that helpful to just keep piling on sympathy. I just really feel for the kids as it’s so unsettling for them.

Have you tried putting that to her and saying you don't think he's going to change so if she wants to talk about leaving him then fine but otherwise it's upsetting you to see her let him treat her that way so don't want to hear about it?