To hate "girly" nights ? Does anyone else?

[cheryl334]

Don't get me wrong I love meeting up with friends for food and drinks and a good chat etc but I hate girly nights in.
Tonight a friend is coming over for takeaway and wine(so will be staying over)
The only place she can stay is in my bedroom so she will be snoring away.
She gets loud after a few drinks and wants the music on and to dance around the living room.

I honestly can't be bothered but she lives alone and is desperate for company (we are in the same bubble and go for walks etc )

Aibu ? Does anyone else just love own space?

Can you not go to hers instead and scrub the drinking ? You can drive home after a reasonable amount of merriment. You get to see her, have a take away and still get to sleep in your own bed alone.

Stick an airbed in the lounge for her. And ask her not to play the music because of neighbours.

Can she not sleep in the lounge?

If your sofa is too small or uncomfortable make a bed up on the floor. My friend occasionally stays, she used to bring an airbed but she doesn't have it anymore so we take the cushions off the sofa, put a sheet round them, add a pillow and a duvet and she gets an acceptable nights sleep.

Alternatively camp beds are cheap.

Tell her no music because next door will complain.

Yes, I agree. If you'd like her company but don't want her in your bedroom that's really totally fine. But offer her a comfy airbed & duvets pillows and blankets in the living room. Surely that'll be ok for one night? She can then stay up later if she wants to? Or, offer to share the cost of a taxi home for her.
Or, as someone's said go to hers and then drive yourself home.

I've stopped going to a friends because she invites round another 1 or 2 friends and they put music on and dance round the kitchen drunkenly (grinding the floor, whooping etc) and I find it incredibly cringy. Might have enjoyed it at 17 but not in my 40's. Food, wine and a movie fine which is what's planned then the other friends always appear. I'm not even that bothered about the bubble being added to as they live very rurally basically untouched by covid but I just don't enjoy that. I don't blame you - as it's your house though you can say your neighbours have complained so can no longer do that. I'd definitely not want anyone but DC in my bed either, I'd rather get a cheap air bed, can pick them up for £5 and sleep on it on the lounge myself. That's probably your best option if you do want her round.

Why did you agree to it if you Dislike it so much? Not very fair to know the inevitable but agree to it anyway. Maybe sleep on the sofa? Tell her no music after whatever o’clock and see how it goes?

You quoted the taxi fare in pounds which means her entering your home is illegal, it's irresponsible behaviour that's extending the pandemic for us all

@moochingtothepub

You quoted the taxi fare in pounds which means her entering your home is illegal, it's irresponsible behaviour that's extending the pandemic for us all

FFS OP said she was in her bubble. Bugger off, covid police!

@moochingtothepub OP is in a bubble with her friend which is allowed. Could the covid police take a day off?

OP if it’s going to stress you out then don’t have her over, or as others have said buy an air bed. However I miss all my friends and would jump at the chance to see one and have them stay over at the moment (I’m not in a bubble) so I can understand why she’s so keen.

If you have anxiety then just tell her, I can do the takeaway and the wine, but I definitely can't do the music this evening, so we can make it chill.

I would find a more permanent solution to her staying over - sofa bed/blow up mattress etc, that way you can both be comfortable.

You quoted the taxi fare in pounds which means her entering your home is illegal, it's irresponsible behaviour that's extending the pandemic for us all

Sorry covid detective, you failed with your findings this time!

I think your issue is your friend who sounds insensitive and entitled. I also hate sharing a bed with friends and I think you need to put your foot down.

I’m also a bit yuck at the girly night thing though. I love a drunken night out with female friends as much as the next person but it’s that particular set of girly expectations which nauseates me it always seems to have to involve Prosecco or gin, Abba and endless bitching about menfolk. Yawn.

Thanks for all your advice I've just ordered a air bed from Argos,thankfully the local one in Sainsbury's is open for click and collect.
It was in the sale too.
I feel better now knowing I can close the door and just sleep.

I'm that weirdo who also hates sharing hotel rooms too.

Oops wrong thread

@moochingtothepub

You quoted the taxi fare in pounds which means her entering your home is illegal, it's irresponsible behaviour that's extending the pandemic for us all

No it's not, they are in a bubble.

Why do you bother? Being friends? And doing stuff you don't like? And then complaining about it?

I like girly nights. If I didn't, I wouldn't do them. FFS.