To think too many neighbours are utterly selfish?

[everyleafy]

I moved house last year in the hope of finding some peace. My old neighbour had a surround sound system in a small semi and it used to drive me mental listening to the bass on it. Then there was the constant shouting at his family.

Moved to a new semi (would dearly love a detached but I can't afford it) and have a different set of problems. There's another shouty man, a barking dog and they play loud music every weekend. They know the walls are thin, but obviously don't care and just want to do what they want.

On my walks I've noticed a fair few people blaring their music from their houses and I always feel so sorry for their neighbours.

I wonder what things were like in the past, did people used to blare out their wirelesses? I doubt it, I think people are getting more and more selfish.

I kind of get what you're saying, but on the other hand, people also have to live their life.

We're semidetached but our non-detached neighbour has dogs and we can still hear them (yes, from their house to ours). I dislike music in gardens, whether ours or other peoples, I prefer to listen to the birds and over head planes etc, but everyone is different and whilst their music reduces my enjoyment, the lack of it reduces theirs. If you can't talk in a normal volume because of neighbour music that's a different thing, as I playing it late at night or early in the morning. Anything that falls outside of "antisocial noise" though, is just personal preference.

I'm a quiet person and I prefer silence to music or background noise, but I appreciate everyone is different.

Define "in the past ..."
I have distinct memories of the teenage lad who lived next door, blaring his music out at all hours of the night, much to my parents' annoyance. That was in the mid 1980s.

No people have always been selfish (or really just oblivious).

Music volume is subjective though isn't it.. Your 'blaring' might be perfectly reasonable to someone else. If you live alone you likely do have a sort of base level of very quiet so you notice every little thing. I don't think it's reasonable to expect to live in close proximity to other people and never ever be impacted by their presence. If is that impossible for you, you'd have to relocate to a cheaper area where you could afford a place on its own.

I feel you, OP. My neighbours on one side are absolute dicks. Constant noise which often feels like it's coming from inside my house. We're detached too - the whole road is! Barbecue smoke from spring to the onset of winter, screeching kids, a noisy dog, they won't secure any items when it's going to be windy so we have to listen to all their garden crap clatter about. They have completely ignored all of the lockdown rules too. I wasn't keen on them before but now I think they're vile.

Love my neighbours. Single mother of 3 of which two are autistic. Yes, they have massive meltdowns at times but she is so apologetic (we have told her no need to keep apologising). She bought us some chocolates and wine at Christmas as a thank you for putting up with them!

Years ago, my gran had a note put through her door for her utterly selfish and disgusting behaviour of...... hanging up her washing in the garden on a Sunday!

I hear next doors music constantly, both detached houses. Sometimes drowns out my TV. It drives me insane. They’ve recently told me they’ve purchased DJ decks for the summer. Great YANBU

I think people need to research the area before they move there. I’m in the middle of an estate full of noisy kids, barking dogs, blaring music and fire pits every night. I’m in my element.

Our neighbours are a decent bunch of people. Family recently moved in opposite the mum is a nurse working shifts. When she is on nights the boys have loads of mates round in the garage, loud music and spliffs. Then they get the munchies so loud orders and deliveries of takeaways. I really don't want to complain but it's annoying.

I remember years ago in the mid 1970s my parents sunbathing in the back garden with the battery wireless on quietly right next to their heads so they could just hear it and no more and so they weren’t disturbing their neighbours peace.

A compromise of what they’d have liked and Doing The Right Thing to be considerate of others.

Nowadays it seems more likely that people would think of their own needs first and blast it out, without even thinking for one second that others may not appreciate it.

People are more entitled pricks these days for sure.

Yes people are getting more selfish...people shouldn’t have to subject their neighbours to listening to their music. Imagine if everyone did the same as them...

It's always people with the worst taste in music who feel the need to share, too...
We deliberately moved to a quiet semi-rural area with mostly OAPs for neighbours, after living in a city with all of that noise. Ah well!

I have one neighbour who likes to share their music with the entire road every. single. sunny. day. They clearly know it's loud (they're several houses away from me and I can sometimes hear it with my windows closed) but don't give a crap. They could enjoy it just the same with the volume a little lower, but never do. Luckily I quite like their taste in rubbish pop music, but if they were heavy metal fans I'd have knocked on their door by now and asked them to turn it down. I don't understand why they think it's OK to subject everyone else to their music, I would never do it, but there we are.

When I read about how children are treated i.e. like little princelings and princesses, with no expectations of good behaviour, I’m not surprised that Generation Selfish has come to pass! I’ve always tried to behave towards others as I’d like them to behave towards me so I don’t blast out music, shout my head off, drop crap everywhere or let my dog bark all day and night. It’s never worked though because some, not all, of my neighbours have been entitled twonks. I finally solved the problem by moving to an isolated spot with no neighbours apart from cows and it’s great 😊

To balance that out, I am EXTREMELY grateful for my virtually-silent next door neighbours in the attached house :) we're both quiet neighbours and I think both of us appreciate that about the other!

I was born in the 60s, I clearly remember noisy neighbours in my childhood. I think those who were selfish back then have gone on to raise people who think it is an OK thing to do so the number of self absorbed neighbours is rising decade on decade.

Why aren't headphones more popular at home?
I love mine I can ignore just about everything.

YANBU. It's the fucking blaring bass. Always hip hop or trance music. Fucking shit. I hate people who do this. Hate them.

Is it not just as selfish to want things your way though? There's no moral superiority in preferring peace and quiet - it's just differing opinions on what makes life enjoyable. Our neighbours sometimes play loud music, have friends round and stay up late talking or make other, general noise and so do we. We sometimes disturb each other, but we don't take the piss and the freedom to do these things makes all our lives more fun.

Have you spoken to your neighbours? You say that they know the walls are thin, but do they really? Assuming you don't make much noise, they may not realise that you can hear them. It does sound like you are getting the rough end of the deal with your personal neighbours, but I don't think you can extrapolate to the wider population.

In the past every home had a piano so I'm pretty sure that meant plenty of noise traveling through walls

Yanbu,way too many people saying they are entitled to live how they like and blare music,shriek and scream until the early hours,allow children to run riot in restaurants.
I don't think it's down to the area always,so the rude pp telling the op to move house,why the help should they?courtesy costs nothing.
What you give out,be sure it will come back to you.

I think people are incredibly selfish. Lockdown alone has shown that as it has brought out the best, and worst, in so many people.

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. It's a piss take and not considerate in the slightest.

My neighbour(who's lovely) went on holiday a few years ago for 2 weeks and his nephew looked after his house and dog. He played music loud, we spoke to him, but he just ignored us.
One day my husband snapped after 1 week, he was in the garden blaring out rock with his mates.
Hubby went round, unplugged the stereo and cut the cable and plug off. The man and his friends didn't say a word.
Neighbour bought us a nice gift back as an apology

People will only take the piss if you allow it

I agree. People are increasingly selfish. Other people do not want to hear your noise!! I really feel for people with selfish neighbours as there’s often no escape.

Avoid estates & go for detached with no near neighbours. I realise not everyone can afford that though.