To think this is weird and almost inappropriate

[2021namechanger]

I got added as a friend by a man on Facebook. We are in a mutual couple of business type groups and he’s obviously some type of coach/guru/bullshit thing.

Accepted it as I often get such requests as run a business and often make nice “contacts” etc.

Anyways - he then send me - a sodding voice note that’s all “hi I’d love to learn more about you I’m x etc etc”.

To be clear I’ve never interacted with him in a group or anything like that.

While I can stomach the odd message that’s almost a sales pitch - a voice note felt incredibly intrusive. It’s not LinkedIn - it’s Facebook. If I had a jealous/abusive partner or similar - it could be troublesome. And also - how the fuck was I supposed to reply? Send him a voice note back?

I did the obvious thing and ignored... now I’ve had a follow up message with “just checking you listened to my message.

By the way - don’t think this is him trying it on - it’s blatantly some sort of sales technique but I still think it’s fucking weird.

Aibu to say this is inappropriate or am I being precious.

The most I'd do (if I wanted to keep him as a contact for professional/business reasons) would be to (typed) message him back saying "Yes, I got yours, but as a rule I never listen to or use voice messages."

The 1st message wouldn't bother me. The followup 'did you get my message' would irritate me. If you aren't a close friend/family and someone doesn't reply to a non-important 'hi how are you' message you need to assume they aren't going to.

@KrisAkabusi

Some Spanish and South American cultures use voice notes for WhatsApp and Facebook by default, it's their normal way of communicating. Maybe it's his usual way of doing things?

My sibling who lives in South America does this. I don’t know why but it drives me mad!

As I, and other PP, have said the voice note is simply his preferred communication method, nothing invasive about it, they are very normal, especially with younger people.

Voice notes really aren’t very normal for a first communication with someone you don’t know personally. And following them up with “did you listen to it (when frankly you know I have as you’ll have seen I have) is invasive.

I don’t message my friends saying “did you listen to my voice note” when they don’t get back to me.

as a PP said, you can do whatever you want! Personally I would find it incredibly irritating , particularly the follow-up. how about" thanks, messages received. but this isn't for me".

Tell him to put it in an email

Sorry don’t think I was that clear in my OP.
The message wasn’t a sales pitch. It was a “hey how are you. I’m x and I’d love to know more about you. I’m up in x area. How about you”?

It’s very obviously going to lead into a sales pitch - but I found it cringe and actually difficult to respond to (even if wanted to).

It's not inappropriate according to the general set of rules, because there isn't a general set of rules. Some people would be fine with this, some wouldn't. He's not unreasonable to contact you in this way, and you're not wrong to dislike it. Not everybody who does things you don't like is being 'unreasonable'.

Think about how you want communications with him to progress. Act on it. If he continues to send you messages when you've blocked him or asked him not to, then he's being unreasonable. If you continue to communicate with him on a 'nicey nicey, let's be friends' basis whilst feeling pissed off about his communication methods, then you're being unreasonable.

But you can't expect somebody to automatically know your boundaries. Everybody's are different.

I couldn’t be bothered to have time for this sort of nonsense from someone you don’t actually know. I’d ignore or block if he continues. I keep fb strictly for people I know irl. I’ve had clients add me, but I never accept. Make a separate page for business if you need to make contacts.

Erm that's the type of thing you would say if you wanted to network.
No point in wanting to work professionally on something local if you are miles from each other.

If it is a sales pitch, not interested.

I've had loads of messages like that and they have been legit reasons. There's been a few where I haven't been able to help, but recommended others and received things as thanks, including the all important positive word of mouth.

Not all gurus are the same and to be avoided. And no I'm not one lol.

I enter a lot of competitions on Instagram and recently I’ve noticed companies doing this so I think it’s become a ‘think’.
They generally send a message saying I’ve not won but can have 10% discount on their site. They often follow up to see if you have read the message.
I think it’s a rubbish idea because I get all excited that I’ve won, then deflated when I find out I haven’t so won’t buy anything on principle.

Oh I hate companies that do that. Open the email or whatever to be told oh well, here's a voucher instead. I'd rather just not know like millions of other companies.

I pretty much solely voice note now, it is so much easier and quicker! Why did you accept someone you don't know as a friend on fb? Ywnbu to ignore and delete, he hasn't done anything wrong though.