How do you stop being wendied without looking psycho

[catherineofarrogance80]

With three kids I'm experienced with playground politics and always advocate my kids choose their friends and have very little influence.
However there is the start of a Wendy situation slowly forming and I want to know how to avoid this happening without appearing like a crazy woman
Any tips ?

@catherineofarrogance80 describe what's happening? I've heard the term before but I don't know what a 'Wendy' is?

Oh no dont say there is something called a 'Wendy', it'll be the whole 'Karen' thing all over again! Which I've only ever heard on MN and not IRL

A Wendy is like a cuckoo. She joins the group then subtly influences them all to force one or more of the original group out.

Why not call them a “cuckoo” then?

is it your DC who is being Wendied, or you? If the former then I recommend you invite DC's friend (the one who is being courted by the Wendy) to do a couple of fun bonding things with your DC: a day out; joining the same club after Easter etc etc. This will give a chance for that relationship to find fresh life and a sense of fun. If it is getting to the point of Wendy attempting to exclude your daughter from times with her friend at school I would definitely have a word with the teacher and ask them to talk to Wendy and let her/him know that what she/he's doing has been noticed and isn't kind.

It references a thread where OP randomly used the name Wendy to refer to the woman whose behaviour has been described here.

I think it's a reference to a book where the situation occurred and the character was called Wendy...

Anyway, OP we need more info here!

Just the usual joining a group, engineering invites to things, trying to get certain mums and kids together and exclude others regardless of who the kids actually like

@TheBitchOfTheVicar

It references a thread where OP randomly used the name Wendy to refer to the woman whose behaviour has been described here.

It stems from a book that was written in the early 70s. It was a known term when I was a child in the 80s.

Is this you that is being pushed out or someone else in your group?

There are a couple who Wendy is trying to streamline

But is it you or your child!??

Assuming it's you, then you have to be as active in creating social situations as she is. At the moment, the Wendy is calling the shots while everyone else is oblivious/playing by the rules.

Make invitations to some of the group, variously, work on your connections. Don't passively sit and watch someone else choose the groupings!