To think life shouldn't be this hard all the time?

[NotEver0]

My son has severe non verbal Autism,with severe learning disabilities.Hes now been crying for a whole week and we dont know why.By crying i actually mean allday.His doctor was very little help and suggested calming techniques and really couldn't get me off the phone fast enough(because i hadnt of course tried them already!)took him to A&e they couldnt think what it could be and did usual checks,hes been sent home from school as they said hes distressing other kids and wont be comforted.ive gave him calpol in case hes hurting,but its had no effect.Its the most distressing thing ever and highlights by far the cruellest part of his autism,that he cant speak and say whats wrong.
Im so broken today,life is dragging me about on my knees.i keep waking up hoping hes over whatever it is.Last summer he did this for a full month.Hes waking at 2am everyday,sleeping barely 5 hours. Nothing is distracting him from his distress.Hes 10.

It's just awful ((((())))

Oh no. Poor lad. Obviously something wrong. Good luck with finding out. Have you checked him over?

Sounds so difficult I have an autistic child who turned 10 yesterday I bought her a 10 balloon and the “one” popped as soon as it was blown up and she spent about 2 hours screaming and crying. So I feel your pain but she does speak so can tell me what the problem is. It sounds very difficult when you can’t work out what the problem is

I am so sorry. This sounds really really hard and I hope you can get a bit of a break and that your son starts to feel better soon. Hang in there. This too shall pass.

@BlackeyedSusan yes theres nothing i can see thats causing him his upset

I wish there was something I could say or do to help. In the past I have watched my sister comfort my non-verbal niece through non stop tears not knowing what was wrong. It’s heart wrenching.

You are an amazing parent, sending hugs and strength. Parenting can be hard but it’s nothing in comparison to what parents with special needs children go through.

@HappyHedgehog247 thank you,please God make it pass soon,im strong and normally a coper,but today i feel so devoid of anything but utter hopelessness.

NotEver0, you are an incredible mum (or dad but I'm guessing at mum!) - sending you comfort and strength through the Internet- keep on going, you will get through this xxx

Does anywhere hurt when you touch it? ( Presumably a and e doctors felt his tummy) Does moving bits of him hurt more? ( DD subluxes and these are not very easy to spot) I got a hair round my toe and it hurt like hell, but it was not easy to see.

Ds went non verbal due to school for a bit. Hate the having to guess what is wrong. ( Old teacher came back and he improved again, stopped chewing his shirt and started talking)

Oh gosh that sounds awful and very distressing for you all.

I don’t really have any suggestions I’m sorry, is there anything that normally calms him? Reading in a cosy corner or bed? Listening to soft calm music? A favourite tv show or film? Even a favourite food or drink? Anything to distract him.

I really hope he calms soon and you can all catch up on sleep. Really feel for yiu

@PoppyFleur thank you for your kindness xx

Wow I really feel for you.

The only thought that popped in my head was tooth ache?

Sending huge hugs, I hope you both can figure it out ASAP

When this happened last summer, can you pinpoint anything that might have caused it to eventually stop? What was going on around that time?

Is he touching his head, stomach, jaw etc?
Is he missing a favourite object or person? Is this unusual op or has this happened before? Sorry youre going through this

Sorry just seen it happened before. How awful for you both.

My DS is the same. It is so hard. It’s hard that they could be in pain and you can’t figure out what it is. And the crying just kills me. Someone suggested teeth to us and nurofen can help with certain pain like earache more than calpol. Hope it passes soon for him and you

Hes not pointing to or holding anything,ive gave him nurofen too.The last time we didnt figure it out at all,he just stopped one day.He been eating and its not causing him distress, me and the doctors have touched his tummy etc,his temperature is completely normal.

That sounds so horrible for all of you.

Does he have floppy/double joints? If so, as a PP says, could be a subluxed joint, which are hard to spot. I came on to say the same thing too about a hair around a toe.

Poor thing :( and you too. Being a parent of children with SN can be so exhausting 💐

Has anything changed lately - school? Am assuming he went back a couple of weeks ago if he wasn’t already in during lockdown.

Could be such a small unnoticeable thing to us - change in heating/temperature, different lighting, even laundry stuff with different scent, one of you wearing a new perfume? Noise from a neighbour?

Could it be something like a bad dream that he’s unable to verbalise?

Is there any strong smell he likes that would calm him, or compression like a weighted blanket?

That sounds so distressing. I hope you find out what's the matter.

Oh OP how distressing for you.

Do you have support so you can have a bit of a break?

@Pollaidh no double jointedness to note,hes not tugging or pulling at anything

Any big changes in his routine?

Hi, is he open to learning disability camhs? Could he be depressed? I wonder if they would assess him. What a horrible thing for you to see him so unhappy. Has he generally a high pain threshold and something might have come out of joint or broken and an xray would be the only way of knowing. Has any change at school set it off now more children are back or he is back ? Any other behaviours to think something might have happened to him?