Ex's and emotions

[justwingin2021]

Hey just needed some advice.
I really don't want to sound heartless or whatever but bare with me
Background we have a child so can't go no contact. recent breakup

Me and my ex recently broke up and we remained on sort of good terms, the break up was my idea as there was so many problems. He diddnt treat me the best towards the end no DV or anything.
We still text due to our child and he FaceTimes to speak DS but it is mainly about DS and im really trying to keep it that way. But he keeps texting me saying he's hurt he doesn't understand why we broke up etc I've explained it all nicely but he still keeps texting I don't want to give him false hope by giving him to much sympathy if that makes sense (I am trying to be sympathetic)
But I've seen on his Facebook he's writing all these post and I'm feeling so guilty, I know the breakup was the best thing and I don't wish him any hurt.
Am I just being heartless

You are not being heartless. I would unfollow/block his fb though as there is no need to keep seeing his posts.

Stop replying to texts about the breakup, one last "I've already discussed this and won't be answering any more questions" maybe a good thing. Sympathy can come from his friends and family, you are not his support system.

You've done really well to keep communicating politely and supportively for your DC, in order to coparent.
Given you have a good joint parenting relationship, just talk to your ex.
Along the lines of

• Your relationship is over, it's sad but it's a reality
• But you are parents together and you respect him/her and appreciate how great it will be for DC to continue this approach
• It isn't helping to be asked to discuss what went wrong, it will be easier to move on and leave that in the past.

@Hidinginstaircupboard

You've done really well to keep communicating politely and supportively for your DC, in order to coparent. Given you have a good joint parenting relationship, just talk to your ex. Along the lines of

• Your relationship is over, it's sad but it's a reality
• But you are parents together and you respect him/her and appreciate how great it will be for DC to continue this approach
• It isn't helping to be asked to discuss what went wrong, it will be easier to move on and leave that in the past.

See I have said that a few times now and I'll get back I understand it's over it's hard then not even the next day he'll be texting saying how much his thinking of me, that's he so hurt and he knows I couldn't care less etc. Which isn't true I am hurting too but just not as much as him as it was my idea. And it's getting to the point we're I'm sounding heartless to him because I keep repeating my self