Nasty work colleague

[Itsmeagainandagain]

I'm sick of my work colleague, that sums it up. She is higher up than me in terms of job description but she is just nasty and snidey towards me and everyone else that works there. She puts others down just to push herself up and its sad. She's older than most of us and quite friendly with our boss so can't really go to the boss to complain. She generally is only on 1 shift and I dread working with her if I'm on shift with her. I enjoy my job but dread working with her. One day she can be friendly next she is jumping down my throat. I've been on the verge of tears twice because of her.
would I be unreasonable to ask boss not to work with her?

Can't you and the others collectively produce evidence of her behaviour and all got to the boss.
She sounds awful. What the hell is wrong with some people that they get off on making others lives miserable.
If you all stand up to her she might get the message.

You can ask, but your boss doesn't have to say yes.

@Thedogscollar

Can't you and the others collectively produce evidence of her behaviour and all got to the boss. She sounds awful. What the hell is wrong with some people that they get off on making others lives miserable. If you all stand up to her she might get the message.

I think it's because we are wary of her she could make waves and working life unbearable for us

How is her age relevant?

What sort of nasty things does she say?

if you "can't" complain about her to your boss, what reasons are you going to give if you request not to be rota'd with her?

No, you can't approach management and say there's a colleague you'd rather not work with. It looks highly unprofessional. I know how you're feeling as there's a spiteful colleague I work with who lays petty little 'traps' for colleagues to fall into so he can then complain of their incompetence (on closer working with him I can clearly see this is because he's out of her depth in the job). He will also withhold his contribution of the team work so that I have to do my work and his portion myself. If I don't, others will suffer, so throwing my hands up and saying 'fuck this' unfortunately isn't an option. Apparently he's done this to other colleagues as well.

It's been a gruelling semester and has cost me a lot of extra work at a time when things were already hard enough. I do not want to work with this person again, but despite having done my job correctly it's me it will reflect badly on if anything is said (Colleague is in my Line Manager's pocket, and LM is a person I avoid wherever possible for similar sorts of reasons).

Best way is don't give them a way in. Don't let them see their behaviour has annoyed you (I have put one or two points about the 'traps' on record in email though, saying 'please let me know if you're going to do X', to avoid this coming back to bite me). Best advice is avoid, and cover your arse.

When interacting with such people grey rock is the only workable approach. I try to follow Henry Higgins' advice to Eliza Doolittle to 'stick to two subjects, the weather, and everybody's health!'

Sucks, doesn't it?

@thecognoscenti

How is her age relevant?

It isn't but she reminds us she is older than us

@HollowTalk

What sort of nasty things does she say?

How we are incompetent and shit at our jobs.

@thecognoscenti

How is her age relevant?

Does it matter?

does she literally say "you are incompetent and shit at your job"? because that is abusive language which has no place in the workplace. or does she say 'you've done this wrong'?

No she said we were shit

You need evidence of what you are considering harassment. Which is what her 'jumping down your throat' is to you, assuming it is not reasonable and justifiable criticism.

No she said we were shit

Whereas she sounds like the consummate professional ....

No, that's different. That's bullying - it's also abusive language. Rally some support from other colleagues and support. You don't have to take that from anyone.

Report - sorry, not support.

If your going to do anything about it you really need evidence or more than one person complaining. Unfortunately without that it's one word against the other and work may be biased if she's been there a long time without complaints and the boss is friendly with her.
I would suggest you call her out on it directly when she behaves like that in a professional manner. She might be behaving like it because noone says anything.

I've had colleagues like this in the past - I'm quiet and unassertive - just the kind of person they target.

The only answer I'm afraid is to toughen up and stand up to her or she'll just keep doing it. You don't have to be nasty or stoop to her level just learn to be firm and brush it off eg. 'you're all shit.' Smile, look her firmly in the eye and say matter of factly 'no we're not' and so on, you get the gist.

Sympathy, I know it's not easy but they sense weakness and attack others to enlarge their own fragile little egos - you need to learn to stand your ground and she'll give up.

I've had a colleague like this, OP. She was my manager. She had us all conditioned that she was on great terms with our Operations Manager so if we spoke out she would have us sacked. I went to my OM having had enough and low and behold, the OM took our side and she was suspended. You should never feel like you have to put up with abuse or bullying in the workplace. I really hope you get this resolved and that things get better for you

Stand up to her and give her a piece of your mind! Let her know you are not to be pushed around. You'll feel much better after and my guess is she'll think twice before saying anything to you again.
I hate these toxic people who think they can get away with it at work. I was in a similar situation and told that person what i thought of them. They give me a wide berth and that suits me just right.
Be strong! You got this!