Annoying co workers.

[Besswess88]

Anyone have any tips for dealing with an incredibly annoying co worker.

Competitive, constantly congratulating herself on how amazing she is, constantly looking for validation, over familiar, inappropriate and patronising.

I think people are avoiding the office because of it tbh.

I just don’t know how to respond to her. Tells me I have too much make up on (she’s been here a few months and I am senior to her). I was going out and did my lipstick she tells me “you don’t need it!” But in a bossy matronly way.

I said I was trying to “be good” and not eat shit, she shouts and points any time I might eat a biscuit (she is morbidly obese I am not).
Talks in a cutesy baby voice, directs newer members of staff (this is not her role).

Husband sent me a photo of something today and she “jokingly” asked if it was a dick pic (ffs we are professionals).

How the hell do you deal with these people politely?

The raised eyebrow of doom?

The withering look of contempt?

Saying in your best maternal voice, 'that is really quite inappropriate, as I'm sure you do actually know'. . .

all of mbosnz's suggestions, plus headphones.

or earplugs

Oh, and I find a short, sharp, 'I beg your pardon', can work wonders, as well.

Mbosnz 🤣🤣🤣👏🏻

Don't forget the MN classic -

"Did you mean to say that out loud?"

Ooh YES!

I always channel the spirit of my mother, meself. It doesn't work if I do it as me. . .

Just withdraw. Don't tell her anything personal - no eating habits, who is calling/texting you, where you are going. Be politely ambiguous. Less conversation, so the less she knows. If she asks something personal directly, i.e who's texting/ringing you, you answer no one you know, or (lightly) none of your concern. Then just get on with something & give no cues for her to engage in conversation again, unless it is to tell her to do a task and preferably something that removes her from your space.

Husband was coming home for the weekend she said “ooh she’ll be walking like John Wayne on Monday”.

Was fucking mortified.

@Besswess88

Husband was coming home for the weekend she said “ooh she’ll be walking like John Wayne on Monday”.

Was fucking mortified.

Now, that definitely calls for an 'I beg your pardon?!' Who the hell does she think she is, the vulgar little madam?

She really embarrassed a junior member of staff today who has clearly told this women when I was not there that she likes being around me in the office because she thinks I am funny and she looks up to me.

Coworker tells me this today, in front of this poor girl who was absolutely mortified.

I just said “it’s ok X I can be your work mum”

She sounds very insecure - overcompensating and needing validation. Confident, secure people don’t need to toot their horn every 5 minutes or make ‘jokes’ to get attention.

I know it’s easier said than done but I would just try to engage as little as possible. She’s probably exhausted trying to keep up with herself.

But I would say ‘that isn’t appropriate in a work setting’ to any mention of dick pics or sexual references. If she persists report her to HR.

@CoffeeBeansGalore

Just withdraw. Don't tell her anything personal - no eating habits, who is calling/texting you, where you are going. Be politely ambiguous. Less conversation, so the less she knows. If she asks something personal directly, i.e who's texting/ringing you, you answer no one you know, or (lightly) none of your concern. Then just get on with something & give no cues for her to engage in conversation again, unless it is to tell her to do a task and preferably something that removes her from your space.

Yep - just completely disengage. Never initiate conversation, and only one word responses when you absolutely have to talk to her. If, or more likely when, she very publicly picks you up on it, tell her you don’t like answering personal questions in the office and are not interested in her views on your diet, lipstick or anything else.

I'd take her aside and say in a low voice "Listen, you're being incredibly inappropriate in what you're saying to me and in what I've overheard you say to others. I don't like it and you are to stop it. Now." and then walk away from her with a cheery bye and a wave.
If she continues, you report her to your manager (if you share the same one) or to HR for her inappropriate conversation.

Sounds like two issues here, first being her inappropriateness & second, her usurping/encroaching on your more senior role. Thr first, I would totally limit any personal information in her presence to almost nil & if she comments, as other posters have said, do the raised eyebrow 'I beg your pardon? Did you actually say that out loud?' kind of comment. And the second...if she directing work matters not within her remit, I'd be in there immed with 'Thank you X, I'll deal with this, you carry on with your work...'. everytime stay in your own lane vibe. As for her massaging her own ego with self praise, ignore. I worked with one of these types...totally painful the amount of time she spent bigging herself up. I swear she had to have planned her script the night before that as soon as she'd have an audience she'd sell herself. Leave her to it but pull her up on any BS or taking credit for someone else's work. I feel for you OP...but take deep breaths & don't let her become more than a fly to swot in your work life otherwise it can become toxic & an unhappy place for you.