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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Telling someone else’s news, AIBU?

28 replies

Cindefuckingrella · 25/03/2021 19:10

My husband has a habit of sharing stuff that’s happened to me - whether it’s just a funny story that happened that day, or even something big like getting into uni - with people ( like our kids or relatives), before I get a chance to. I think it’s my stuff to share. He’s in a strop now because I said how I feel.

YANBU- LT thunder stealing B!
YABU- get a life, it’s a story- telling free for all!

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 25/03/2021 19:12

It’s SO irritating when people do this

I wouldn’t care about a funny story about your day but would be annoyed at big, important stuff like getting in to university. Doesn’t he have his own news to tell?!

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 25/03/2021 19:12

It's kind of sweet if it's something great for you and he's excited to share with others how amazing his wife is.

But the funny stories, those are yours. The fucker.

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 25/03/2021 19:14

That said, if you've told him you want the big news to be left to you to tell, he needs to accept that.

Original poster
Cindefuckingrella · 25/03/2021 19:39

@ShirleyPhallus

It’s SO irritating when people do this

I wouldn’t care about a funny story about your day but would be annoyed at big, important stuff like getting in to university. Doesn’t he have his own news to tell?!

No I guess not! I think for me especially at the moment with life so boring these things are more important to me. I also like seeing the kids faces when I tell them, but I wasn’t even there when he told them!
OP posts:
Original poster
Cindefuckingrella · 25/03/2021 19:42

@JesusIsAnyNameFree

It's kind of sweet if it's something great for you and he's excited to share with others how amazing his wife is.

But the funny stories, those are yours. The fucker.

Well I guess that’s a nice way of thinking of itSmile. But yeah, the funny stuff is mine and mine alone! Bastard Grin
OP posts:
LonginesPrime · 25/03/2021 19:58

Tell him last.

PurBal · 25/03/2021 20:01

My mum does this. But for her its a form of power. So annoying. After we told her we were expecting she called my dad (separated) to tell him. She sent me a message after saying "I hope you don't mind but..." obviously we definitely would have minded but we had the foresight to tell my dad first. I think I'd have been heartbroken.

lioncitygirl · 25/03/2021 20:05

How fucking annoying.

Neighneigh · 25/03/2021 20:10

My cousin rang our granny (my one remaining grandparent) to tell her I was pregnant. I always hated the cow cousin and she never, ever rang granny, she did it deliberately. Never forgive her for that

PADH · 25/03/2021 20:41

@PurBal

My mum does this. But for her its a form of power. So annoying. After we told her we were expecting she called my dad (separated) to tell him. She sent me a message after saying "I hope you don't mind but..." obviously we definitely would have minded but we had the foresight to tell my dad first. I think I'd have been heartbroken.
That's awful!
HollowTalk · 25/03/2021 20:44

I really hate this. Can't he understand why you hate it? I wouldn't tell him anything until I'd told the others.

VettiyaIruken · 25/03/2021 20:47

Ask him if he does it because he's so dull he doesn't have any funny stories of his own. 😁

Sh05 · 25/03/2021 20:51

My best friend did this. My youngest at the time had been sent off to school by my mum who'd promised him that by hometime he would have a baby sibling and be a big brother. I gave birth at around 9 am so mum and dad were going to pick him up from school at 3 and tell him. My best friend was a teacher at the school. She saw my message at lunchtime and rushed to tell him.
Poor kid was so confused as to how she knew he had a baby brother when nana didn't even know in the morning.
She was just too excited and couldn't hold it in so a few of the teachers knew before my own DC. I don't think she thought it would confuse him but he did question me a number of times afterwards as to how his teachers knew.

Original poster
Cindefuckingrella · 26/03/2021 07:08

Thanks everyone. It is very annoying and then upsetting to be made to feel like it’s me being unreasonable. I think I will just tell
him stuff last, if at all!

OP posts:
fourandnomore · 26/03/2021 07:13

I would actually tell him that you are at the point where you are going to tell him things last. That would be pretty sad really as your partner so hopefully it will make him think.
My mum loves to text the whole family with any news then oh I’ve texted the boys and your dad as I know you’ll be busy. It’s such full stuff though so I would never have texted them in the first place. Anything proper she’d never do it but I know how annoying it is.

fourandnomore · 26/03/2021 07:14

Dull not full *

Cherrysoup · 26/03/2021 07:18

My mum does this. Straight off the phone to everyone she knows. Then she wonders why I didn’t phone my brother to tell him my (not) news.

Overdueanamechange · 26/03/2021 07:23

I don't think it would occur to me to mind. We will say "has dad told you this" or "has mum told you that".
Someone outside of the home is something different though. My grandmother aggravates my mum as any family news or secret, good or bad, her telephone is on fire.

SnuggyBuggy · 26/03/2021 07:28

I agree with telling him things last.

My MIL can be a bit like this. When we got engaged she immediately announced it on Facebook before we'd had the chance to call everyone. We decided to let it go but she got a massive bollocking off another family member who felt she should have been told before it went on social media Grin

LunaMuffinTop · 26/03/2021 07:37

My sister did this to me when I was getting married I told my parents and my sister that I was planning the wedding and the date I was hoping to get married my sister then went ahead and told her friend, people in work and was already making plans for what her partners kids would be doing at the wedding they where bridesmaids before I had even thought about who I was having as bridesmaids I had no choice but to tell the rest of my family before I wanted to just so my sister didn’t do it. I was so annoyed with her it wasn’t her news to share with everyone.

RustyCat · 26/03/2021 07:39

My DH does this but that's because he basically wets himself with excitement 🙄.

When I found out I was pregnant the first thing he did was tell his mum, even though we agreed to keep it secret until it was confirmed on a scan due to a previous MMC.

Then before I had even got my arse off the bed from our 20 week scan which confirmed the what the genders were he had already posted all over Facebook and told his mum.

He's under strict instructions if he dares blab our chosen baby names to ANYONE he's toast 🤣.

He means no harm but it's frustrating when you want to tell people yourself too.

Original poster
Cindefuckingrella · 26/03/2021 07:56

Yes it is a sad thing to think I’d have to tell him last, but I have mentioned it before and it doesn’t seem to stop him!

OP posts:
CatsHairEverywhere2 · 26/03/2021 07:56

I’d just start telling everyone else your news before him.

Sleepingdogs12 · 26/03/2021 08:12

I am in the other camp. Unless I said don't tell whoever because I want to I am always abit annoyed when good news doesn't get passed on. It feels to me like the person who knows the news isn't interested or pleased and can't be bothered or hasn't listened. If it is that precious tell the people you want to know individually then your partner. Sounds like hard work to me.

Sleepingdogs12 · 26/03/2021 08:13

Just to say I think splashing other people's news over social media is not ok .