To have found Lockdown a mixed blessing?

[Blackbird99]

Since lock down started I have really enjoyed the lack of pressure to do things and spend money. I am a single mum to 2 DD's and even though I work full time I don't have a lot of money spare each month. Usually I'm being the boring mum who says no to going to the cinema, eating out, day trips out to anywhere that involves spending money etc. I do treat my DD's but it's very limited. I understand that a lot of people have had a rough time and lost their jobs due to Covid / lock down and I've been very lucky to keep hold of mine and I really feel for those people but has anyone else really appreciated the slower pace and pressure off? I feel guilty to admit it.

I haven't had a problem with lockdown. I'm fed up with people going on and on about it.

Apparently, when it comes to lock down I've got it all wrong. (Despite sticking to the rules.)

I didn't get furlough pay, neither did my husband. We got by for five months last year on savings and I got unemployment benefit which stopped after six months in the normal manner.

My husband started a WFH job last October. I started a job on the Covid front line last December.

I don't miss the pub. It might have been nice to go out to a restaurant, but, no biggie.

My friends live hundreds of miles away anyway. My relatives are either dead or estranged or low contact.

My life will not change a great deal after lockdown. All this fuss just so people can go to the pub when lockdown ends. Woop di do.

Everyone has the right to feel how they feel but this is having a devastating psychological effect on lots of people, particular teenagers. I'm in a school and we have had to get outside psychological counsellors in. The kids worrying us the most are the ones who want to stay homeschooling and who say that lockdown has been good for them. Because that's not a normal reaction. We've got kids having panic attacks and suffering insomnia.
I think schools (esp secondary) are going to be dealing with this for years.

I don't understand the attitude of "I don't like/can't afford the cinema so its a good thing that nobody can go to the cinema".

It means that for once your kids are not the only ones left out. I can understand the reasoning.

It's not really accurate: lockdown has seen families having door step pizza vans or other treat, upgrading all their consoles and game things, electronics, tv, doing all sort of "home" parties etc..
let alone the ones with big houses etc.

so there's still a very big gap.

@Geamhradh

Everyone has the right to feel how they feel but this is having a devastating psychological effect on lots of people, particular teenagers. I'm in a school and we have had to get outside psychological counsellors in. The kids worrying us the most are the ones who want to stay homeschooling and who say that lockdown has been good for them. Because that's not a normal reaction. We've got kids having panic attacks and suffering insomnia. I think schools (esp secondary) are going to be dealing with this for years.

Absolutely, and it's great that not everyone has found it traumatic so that there are enough people to support those who have. I just hope that there is sufficient investment in mental health services and community activities and spaces to ensure we can build people back up

@ChocOrange1 I don't think I am happy that no one else can go to the cinema, I think for me it is just nice to feel that I'm not the "bad guy" for once. It's like we can't go to the cinema even if we wanted to - it's not a possibility so for once it's not me saying no.

Don't feel guilty. It's great that you have found something positive, for you personally, about lockdown. So have I and don't mind admitting it. So has my son who has been working from his home.

It doesn't mean we do not sympathise with others who are having a more difficult time (and sometimes we can discreetly help those).

I haven't had a problem with lockdown. I'm fed up with people going on and on about it.

we are still in lockdown, can you blame them?

It's a bit sad if a lockdown makes no difference to your life and you don't generally do.. anything.

We are doing NOTHING at the moment, the end of the lockdown will change everything. It's nothing to do with "the pub"!

I’ve hated every fucking minute and what it’s done to me and my family but you’re entitled to feel the way you feel and if you’ve found some elements you’ve enjoyed then that’s good for you, maybe think about how you can continue it longer term.

@whetherpigshavewings

I haven't had a problem with lockdown. I'm fed up with people going on and on about it.

we are still in lockdown, can you blame them?

It's a bit sad if a lockdown makes no difference to your life and you don't generally do.. anything.

We are doing NOTHING at the moment, the end of the lockdown will change everything. It's nothing to do with "the pub"!

Not everyone considers this life to be doing nothing! A lot of people love being at home, love pottering about, work at home happily, love being out in nature, hate pubs and shopping. A lot of people are quietly having a full and rich life, and appreciate how lucky they are to be happy this way.

My worst nightmare is if there's a virus one day and the only way to beat it is if everyone spends hours in the pub or gathered together with everyone they know, hugging

I sort of know what you mean. But I think the bad across the board so far outweighs the good that it can’t be called a good thing or even a mixed blessing.

I’m lucky enough / old enough to be semi retired so already have a good work-life balance and don’t need to cut down on things to make my life less frantic. Pre-lockdown, I already have opportunities to potter around at home and be out in nature. But I don’t want it to be my normal to be all of life. It makes me feel elderly: staying at home. Pottering. I don’t want to live this life as my normal, and I don’t find it rich and fulfilling.

Lockdown has sucked the joy and colour and stimulation from life. I don’t want to walk the same walks, stay in the same area, spend my life seeing the same people and see others only on Zoom. That isn’t living life fully. Maybe when I’m no longer able to do more.

I long to explore, to walk by an ocean, to visit new places and return to old haunts not in my locality, to meet up with friends, to have fun! To go to art galleries and museums and Hampton Court. To sit in a pub, a beautiful church or Cathedral, a restaurant, the theatre, a cinema. To support the arts.

Everyone is different and of course you aren’t unreasonable to enjoy the positives that have come out of lockdown.

A lot of people are quietly having a full and rich life, and appreciate how lucky they are to be happy this way.

It’s the being physically separated from friends and family that gets me. Do people not miss this?

It's been fantastic for me!
Passed my driving test, started a new business that brings me great income each month, finished university as it's been great learning from home and prioritising everything.
Loved being at home with my daughter (she's not school age anyway) and I'm now due a baby in a few weeks!
Not been obliged to see in-laws every week.
Saved so much money
Not had to make excuses to not attend events lmao

But I think it does depend on our personalities.
As I'm quite a homebody, so home studying etc working from laptop etc suits me fine..

But I guess if I had children in school etc and other responsibilities it might have been different!

Definitely a blessing for me though and my little unit!

@TheKeatingFive my extended family are hard work and demanding. They are no support, and a lot of stress. I'm very pleased that there's a limit on what they can ask of me!

Friends, well, they are still there, messaging and on FB. I don't need to see them in person. One friend has had terrible personal news, and I've worried about her, but she has closer friends and family, and I think have bent some rules to make sure she's ok.

I don't want this forever, I'm feeling ready to go back to working face to face, at least part of the time, but I don't hugely miss seeing friends and family face to face yet. I would if someone said this was forever, but I'm really content with being with my DH and keeping in touch with friends by phone, online etc. I'm looking forward to seeing people in person, but I've not felt starved of it. We are all different, we all need different levels of interaction.

I don't at all think that it's been a good thing for the world to have had a pandemic!

@adrien

It's been fantastic for me! Passed my driving test, started a new business that brings me great income each month, finished university as it's been great learning from home and prioritising everything. Loved being at home with my daughter (she's not school age anyway) and I'm now due a baby in a few weeks! Not been obliged to see in-laws every week. Saved so much money Not had to make excuses to not attend events lmao

But I think it does depend on our personalities.
As I'm quite a homebody, so home studying etc working from laptop etc suits me fine..

But I guess if I had children in school etc and other responsibilities it might have been different!

Definitely a blessing for me though and my little unit!

💕💐 Sounds great!

Blackbird99 I feel the same.
I've gone from 10 plus hour days in a pressured environment to doing what I feel like for the first time in many yrs.Dcs grown up and though we are both on low incomes made the 80% work by cooking from scratch. Both lost weight even though I probably didn't need to.Ditched the booze and enjoyed the majority of the year sticking to the rules.I didn't socialise before as I was always working.The best bit is no fear of missing out and proof that I am actually quite content with very little.I do miss a change of scene or conversation with someone other than my limited circle but overall I still feel happy.I understand plenty of people have had it harder.I would've struggled to home school.

I appreciate lockdown. Although it has been long, and needs to end, it has taught me to slow down and that fun doesn’t have to be expensive.

I can’t live like this forever but I will certainly be adopting aspects of my lockdown life into my new normal going forward.

Friends, well, they are still there, messaging and on FB. I don't need to see them in person.

This is very alien to me I must say, but I guess everyone’s needs are different.

@Blackbird99

YANBU to feel how you do. I am on the fence really. Me and DH don't mix much with people these days, and aren't keen on people coming to our house - except DD and her boyfriend. (We prefer to meet anyone else for a coffee or a pub lunch, or pop to see them.)

So not having to have anyone around - and not having to go to anyone else's - has been a bit of a blessing.

We have saved money on petrol, and meals out, and going to the pub too. Although we have both had 20% less pay for 7-8 months of the last year. So that has pretty much made us break even!

It is nice (as a few people have said,) to not have to DO anything or meet anyone. Me and DH are home bodies too, and are not social butterflies. We used to be in our 20s and 30s, but since we hit 41-42 ish, (around a decade ago,) we have been more introverted.

We are also glad to have not had cold callers pestering us. This happened once or twice weekly pre-covid.

The down side is that we are worried about our jobs, as we have not been given a date to return yet. Also, we are sick of not being able to go for drives in the countryside, and to the beach, and for pub lunches, and to the village pub for a glass of wine.

Even looking around the shopping centre in the big town 12 or so miles from us was something we enjoyed, but we can't even do that now.

Plus, as much as I love DH, it's becoming a bit more stressful being with him 24/7 now. It's not normal or natural (IMO) to be with one person, every day of the week, 24 hours a day. Wasn't so bad last Spring/early summer, as the weather was nice, and I could go in the garden to read. (He wouldn't come as he hates coming outside to just 'sit there,') and I went for bike rides too (alone as he doesn't have a bike.) But the lockdown 3 through winter has been a struggle. OK, maybe 80% of the time, but a struggle for the other 20%.

It will be different when we retire, as we will be able to get out, and meet different friends, and do different hobbies etc, as well as doing stuff together... Just being stuck in the house together, pretty much 24/7 is a bit of a struggle sometimes...

I think I (and DH) have found lockdown more bearable because of being able to facetime people on whatsapp, (family and friends,) and regularly chat via twitter and facebook. Without the internet, and my smartphone/ facetiming etc, I would have struggled a lot more I think. Nevertheless, I will be glad when LOCKDOWN is over!

@PepeSilviaDoesNotExist

I appreciate lockdown. Although it has been long, and needs to end, it has taught me to slow down and that fun doesn’t have to be expensive.

I can’t live like this forever but I will certainly be adopting aspects of my lockdown life into my new normal going forward.

Pretty much agree with this! ^

I think there are quite a few people could say it was a mixed blessing in that there is something positive for them.

I know it's not the same for everyone, but A lot of people have found working from home to be beneficial for them

I'm with you OP, I've enjoyed the lack of pressure that has come with a simpler life.

DH and I now both work from home, prior to Covid he would have been out the house by 6am and not home until gone 7pm. Now he's able to do bedtimes, bath times, we eat as a family which is something that previously only happened at weekends. We're financially better off due to no commuting costs.

As a family, we're a lot closer than we were 12 months ago and a lot more understanding of the challenges each of us faces day to day.

I actually enjoyed home schooling (not that this is anything that I would ever change to permanently). When else would you ever have an opportunity to actually listen in on your child's schooling like that? Don't get me wrong, there were times when I was close to losing my shit, my job can be complex and the interruptions were tricky to manage at times but on the whole it was positive.

This post isn't meant to be goady, and believe me when I say the last 12 months were challenging at times (redundancy and a bereavement hit us hard) but we worked through it together and came out the other side stronger.

definitely mixed blessings in my household.

Not seeing my parents and Sister - bad

work for 10 mionths was insane - bad

then everyone at work put on 3/4 hours so the business could try and surivive - bad for work, but actually quite okay for me.

DS1 struggled with home learning - bad

DS2 - thrived with home elarning and being at home- good

No holidays - bad

Saving holiday money so that we can have an epic family holiday when possible- good.

Not having to go to work social events and networking events- good.

Not seeing colleagues in person- bad

DH got a promotion at work - good

DH's promotion means he works longer hours- bad.

@hauntedvagina Great username!

@TheKeatingFive

A lot of people are quietly having a full and rich life, and appreciate how lucky they are to be happy this way.

It’s the being physically separated from friends and family that gets me. Do people not miss this?

Yes, it’s been the worst part. If I could see the people I love I’d happily forgo pubs and cinemas.