to be not ready or willing to fall into the perimenopause weight gain cycle of doom

[Laughingstock91]

I am 48 next week and seem to have entered the 'nothing I do makes any difference to my weight' phase of life - I do have perimenopause symptoms (nausea, aching joints, not sleeping well and dizziness around both ovulation and period) and I am considering HRT. I do have to vary my exercise around my cycle though as during the rough hormonal periods, walking is about all I can do but I go every day.

But the weight thing is DOING MY HEAD IN totally. I have put on weight during lockdown and have tried loads of things I would normally do but I havent lost a single pound. WTF! These are my current desperate measures:

• walking 15k steps most days
• 2 HIIT workouts a week/ 1 5K run a week/ gradually introducing weights
• Pretty much stopped drinking alcohol
• plant based diet bar eggs
• a bit of fasting plus I track everything and try to stick to around 1200 a day when trying to lose weight plus 2 800 fast days a week

I am trying everything and I have actually put on weight this week. I am 5/7.5 and around 11 stone 12 so I am in the higher BMI category and am ususally around 10 stone 12

Aibu to feel defeated by it- I dont want to just say 'fuck it' - I like being healthy and fit and a normal weight and I don't want to just cave in to it although its tempting sometimes to be honest.

What have you done that helps? Tell me some positive stories of getting past this perimenopause weight gain- I am not bloody ready for baggy clothes and nana arms!!!

I guess it's horses for courses. I would rather cut carbs and cut out alcohol than do cardio or weights, because I hate exercise. Choose your poison, as they say. I definitely eat more than 1200 calories, maybe about 1400.

It's very hard as you get older. I used to eat some 4000 calories a day just 10 years ago, and none of it settled on my stomach.

I’m almost 43, been on steroids for the last ten years of my life and peri menopausal to boot. I’m on the fat side of a size 14 with fucking massive stupid boobs. I managed to lose 2 stone about three years ago. Gave up carbs, booze and everything tasty.
It. Was. Shit.
So I gave it up.
Hey ho.....

I was shocked yesterday to notice that a presumably post menopausal woman I went to school with had exactly the same sort of midriff and tummy shape as myself.It really shocked me, it was like seeing my own body shape on someone else.

Limiting carbs, no sugar and weight training helps me. I did try to be plant based for a while and I felt good but gained weight because I was eating more carbs. So now it is back to protein and vegetables. So much conflicting advice out there but I do generally find low carb quite easy to stick to even when eating in restaurants. I occasionally have some pasta but now notice I feel sluggish after I eat a high carb meal. Can’t give up wine though! I cut back a lot but am always willing to sacrifice dessert or bread for it!

I'm a little younger, not pm yet but before xmas I lost 12lb in 6 weeks with 1200 cals a day and 3 45 min workouts a week

Yes. Because you are a little younger and not yet peri menopausal!

Exercise is key for me.

I feel your pain! I’m about the same age, height and weight as you and have put a bit on during lockdown, mostly round the tummy which is weird as I e never gained weight in this area. I’m a secondary school leader and tried to be very disciplined when the announcement came we’d be working from home and I hardly ate anything, exercised loads. It took the stress fest that was the return to work to lose a couple of pounds. The answer is obviously ‘be stressed and unhappy’ when it comes to menopausal weight loss.

Sorry that wasn’t much help but you’re not alone!

I am 54 and have pretty much stayed around nine stone for years.I was nervous of HRT and last summer put on a couple of pounds.I felt bloated and couldn't shift it.Now I have more energy the fog has lifted.I cut out alcohol and lost the few pounds and tummy I gained.I walk everywhere and only eat if I am hungry.
Sweets are a rare treat and I don't have fried food.
50s is a hard time to stay slim.You have to stay motivated.I feel it is worth it.

Gave up alcohol and sugar - eat v small evening meals. I don’t weigh myself but I’m fitting into old clothes - bra size very stubborn though.

laggartha what I meant was, this worked for me but as I am not pm it may not. I certainly know that at 45 it's much harder than it was even 5 years ago. I used to do a few weeks of low carb and shed 20 lb no chance of that now.

HRT and marathon training. I feel good and my body is looking better than it has done in years.

I also really struggle with my weight and my metabolism is so different to even 5-6 years ago. The things I used to do no longer work and I have to go very very low carb (basically no white foods) if I want to be slim, but it’s extremely hard to sustain. And I do HIIT daily, walk and do reformer Pilates 3-4 times a week and am generally active. I am fit which is pleasing but there are 6kg which just won’t shift, and if they do, a few days of easing off and I’m back to where I started. Very disheartening.
Plus it’s all around my waist which I hate as I’m short and it makes me look so dumpy.

OP I was often too tired to cook so bf at the time would buy takeaways for us.
That put a good stone on me.
Try to look after yourself it's not an easy time.
💐

I read that your boobs keep growing and the only way to keep a check on this is to lose weight elsewhere - I don't have a waist or stomach issue but my boobs just won;t stop growing. I'm starting to resemble Gladys Emmanuel from Open all hours!

laggartha what I meant was, this worked for me but as I am not pm it may not. I certainly know that at 45 it's much harder than it was even 5 years ago. I used to do a few weeks of low carb and shed 20 lb no chance of that now.

Yes, us perimenopausal women know this. It's literally the point of the whole thread. I'm not meaning to be snippy, but it's infuriating when pre-menopausal women (or men) tell you what you know used to work for but no longer does.
And it's not personal, lots of things are infuriating nowadays :)

Also 48, and a couple of stone had crept on over the past couple of years. Mum and brother we both pre diabetic and did Michael Mosley blood sugar diet, so I tried the same. Under 800 calories,no carbs no sugar. I’ve lost 2 stone since January, one more to go and and I’ll be a size 10. I have had much more energy and less menopause symptoms, some days it’s easy, some hard, I miss wine and bread but I feel much better about myself. I don’t really exercise so it has to be diet all the way for me. I’ll keep it up with treats at the weekend once I’ve reached goal weight.

Love this post! I don't feel so alone now. I'm 49, 5ft 5, currently 10st9lbs and aiming for 9st7lbs. I was 13st10lbs in 2019, and determined not to go back there. My strategies are:
Intermittent Fasting 2pm-7pm eating window; Using MFP 1200-1300 calories a day; incorporating a daily treat of 90% dark chocolate, full fat yoghurt, couple of raspberries and sunflower seeds - all placed in a tiny bowl; 1 hour dog walk 4-5x per week; apple cider vinegar twice a day diluted in sparkling water; HIIT twice a week on a treadmill but only for 5 minutes, so very doable; 30 mins on an elliptical trainer once a week; low carb but not going crazy on the fat intake; no processed foods (eg. I make my own ketchup); having a good sleep routine with earplugs and no mobile phone in the bedroom; soon to be added weight training twice a week as just bought a multi-gym. I've listened to alot of Sven Ekberg videos on YouTube and really like what he has to say, esp. about ACV and not going crazy on the exercise to keep cortisol levels low. I feel like 1200 calories a day is sustainable for me as I do low carb and eat healthy fats. Tbh, I don't ever feel hangry, and am never tempted to eat pasta, bread, rice etc.

I read that your boobs keep growing and the only way to keep a check on this is to lose weight elsewhere

As someone who spent most of my adult life as a small B cup, I am very thankful for my new C cup boobs!

Do you wear an activity tracker, does the calories it calculates for you match what you're eating?

I did one day/week of 800 kcal and lost 1 kg weight about 3 yrs ago. But I do a lot more total activity than OP. My 'do almost nothing' day sounds like OP's busy day. Those 800 kcal days I ate vast quantities of veg; I read a theory that eating lots of veg is a good way to keep your microbiota balance healthy & therefore achieve appetite balance.

I'm terrified of my metabolism getting any worse. It's already shot to shit with an Underactive Thyroid and PCOS 🙈

I've done low carb before with great results. Over lockdown I put on a stone, after thinking fuck it and eating whatever, whenever. On the 1st of March when I was bang on 1 stone over what I usually was, I got back on the low carb wagon. I've lost 12lbs so far, through diet alone, as I do no exercise bar walking. I'm 51 and perimenopausal.