AIBU to think men can compartmentalise more easily than women?

[AliceAliceWhoTheFook]

Ok so I know I'm being unreasonable and sexist to such men are better at compartmentalising than women.

Basically I was wondering if anyone could give me some advise on being able to put thoughts away into boxes. My mind is forever playing up and thinking about thinks and I literally cannot switch off at night. I try to write things down to get them out if my brain.

Do you have any suggestions?

Thank you

*advice

*things (FFS no editing function)

Do you exercise ? It helps I think. A good run or a swim , helps put things into perspective.
Also decluttering, endlessly.

It also depends on what you’re dwelling on of course and what causes you stress. What do you worry about most? Work? Relationships? Money?

I think men are better at compartmentalising because they can delegate or ignore stuff and get away with it far more than women can. Plus they can free up a lot of brain compartments from not caring too much about how other people are all the time. Maybe try that.

It is pretty much everything. I over think everything.

But primarily work at the moment. Just can't stop thinking about it until I tackle it the next day.

I should probably try more exercise between need of work and start of my home life. And I should definitely try to care less. But that's hard!

TBH I don't think it's a 'man' vs 'woman' thing.

I'm female and once picked up a novel aimed at women where the main character ran through what she was thinking all of the time.

I couldn't read it. It was exhausting.

That was the first time I realised some people think about things so much.

My head is pretty clear most of the time - I'm thinking but not in the same way.

So, for example, I don't really think about what other people think of me (because I don't particularly care / assume I'm fairly likeable).

I've been more like this the older I've got (I'm only 38 now but probably cared more when I was younger).

What sort of things are running through your mind?

About work - try putting time aside at the end of your work day to:

• update your to do list
• circle the main priorities for the next day
• block time out in your diary the next day for anything you need to focus on

Also meditation is proven to help stop overthinking. In MRI scans it's shown to increase the area of the brain responsible for focus (and therefore lessens distracting thoughts).

I can help with this! Seriously I am the queen of compartmentalization and I can’t turn my brain off at night. The two are not related, at least for me.

I can get fixated on everything from ‘work’ to ‘whatever did happen to that green sweater I owned 8 years ago’ to ‘do seals drink salt water or freshwater’ while I’m trying to fall asleep.

The only thing that works for me is listening to audiobooks quietly as I fall asleep. Here’s the keys to making this work.

-books have to be ones that aren’t too exciting, but engaging enough to keep your slight attention. For me it’s the Harry Potter series, I’ve listened to them more or less in a loop for the last 10 years.

-the volume has to be low enough that you have to work just a little to hear, but not too low that you give up and let your mind wander.

-set the automatic sleep timer for 2-3 hours. Some nights I hear 5 min, some nights I reset the timer. I never feel guilty if I end up ‘listening’ for a long time. I find I doze in and out without fixating on BEING AWAKE.

Seriously try it! It’s saved my sanity.

I don’t tend to over think things at all. If I have an issue that I need to work through, I just write it down - break it into smaller tasks, do a “to do” list, pro and con list, whatever is most appropriate. I also run through “what’s the worst thing that could reasonably happen” and write this down, along with solutions of how to avoid these outcomes or how I would deal with them if they did happen which really helps with over catastrophising things.

Oh and if I can’t sleep, which is very unusual for me, I do my times tables in my head! I also exercise quite hard every day so my body is also tired. I’ll also sometimes lay in bed thinking of all the good things about lying in bed in the dark and silence, feeling how relaxed I am, tensing and relaxing every muscle etc.

No. I am very good at compartmentalising. My dh is too.

I'm the compartmentaliser in our relationship, DP is the one who feels every emotion strongly and brain can't switch off.

I can just lock things away in boxes and forget, it makes life much easier to deal with. I don't know if you can learn it though! I think it just comes from personality and life experiences. I think I deal with things like that because of certain things that happened when I was young.

@wheresmymojo

TBH I don't think it's a 'man' vs 'woman' thing.

I'm female and once picked up a novel aimed at women where the main character ran through what she was thinking all of the time.

I couldn't read it. It was exhausting.

That was the first time I realised some people think about things so much.

My head is pretty clear most of the time - I'm thinking but not in the same way.

So, for example, I don't really think about what other people think of me (because I don't particularly care / assume I'm fairly likeable).

I've been more like this the older I've got (I'm only 38 now but probably cared more when I was younger).

What sort of things are running through your mind?

And I agree with the mind being clear all the time, mine is like this too.