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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Being “well to do”

46 replies

iamruth · 24/03/2021 20:16

If you describe someone as being “well to do” what do you mean? Or what would you take it to mean?

OP posts:
rosamacrose · 24/03/2021 21:34

Well to do
Comfortably off.

Both meaning financial security.

I never thought either statement meant posh, as in 'never had to buy one's own furniture' type posh.

One of them is definitely posher than the other though... not sure which.

Think it may be the second.

"Well, one is quite comfortably orf..."

Grin
WeirdArchitecture · 24/03/2021 21:49

bit dated as a term.

Legoninjago1 · 24/03/2021 21:59

@Chickydoo

Well-to-do = Hyacinth Bucket 😂
I was about to write this 😃
Woodlandbelle · 24/03/2021 22:03

Lives in the posh part of town. New car.

Changechangychange · 24/03/2021 22:05

Upper middle class, and well-connected. It’s definitely not just money. Synonym for posh, but a definite step below actual aristocracy. I’d say Kate and Pippa Middleton would have been well to do, if Kate had not married William.

Anybody who uses the term to describe themselves, is a massive twat. And usually wrong.

Wildern · 24/03/2021 22:17

@AgeLikeWine

It’s a polite, somewhat old-fashioned euphemism for rich, but in a genteel, non-ostentatious way. Not a term I would use.
This, exactly.
MarieDelaere · 24/03/2021 22:22

Hyacinth Bucket isn't 'well to do'. She'd like to be, though.

RaindropsSplashRainbows · 24/03/2021 22:24

It's rather an old style turn of phrase so in that way it says mord about the user than the subject iyswim.

IncorrigibleTitmouse · 24/03/2021 22:34

I don’t think of it as negative, as such. It’s just a dated expression. My Mum might say it, but I can’t remember anyone younger than about 60 saying it recently.

Marzipanfruit · 24/03/2021 22:49

Wouldn't the 'lady' make jelly from the apples rather than jam? Really lovely and clear if you add rowan berries. Also, what is wrong with a Victoria sponge?

Fifthtimelucky · 24/03/2021 23:33

@AgeLikeWine

It’s a polite, somewhat old-fashioned euphemism for rich, but in a genteel, non-ostentatious way. Not a term I would use.
I agree with this too.

I don't think of either 'well to do' or 'comfortably off' as having anything to do with poshness. They are just about possession of money, in my view.

Wildern · 25/03/2021 13:20

Yes, @Fifthtimelucky. It has no connotations of where someone is on the social class ladder, it just suggests prosperous, in a rather old-fashioned way -- you could be a well to do plumber whose business was visibly thriving, for instance. The gruesome English cousin I mentioned on another thread today (whom my mother thought was terribly posh because he wore driving gloves and golf jumpers) could definitely have been described as 'well to do', and he was aspirational lower-middle-class, but 'doing well'.

M0rT · 25/03/2021 13:25

I wouldn't use it but to me it implies a few generations of financial comfort, as a pp said nice house, car but not yachts or jets.
Well Off to me is more someone who made money for themselves but maybe didn't have it in childhood.

DdraigGoch · 25/03/2021 13:39

Financially secure. Not stinking rich, just in the position of never having to worry about unexpected bills.

LifesNotEnidBlyton · 25/03/2021 18:19

@Marzipanfruit

Wouldn't the 'lady' make jelly from the apples rather than jam? Really lovely and clear if you add rowan berries. Also, what is wrong with a Victoria sponge?
Nah Apple Jam is amazing. GrinGrin Theres isnt something wrong with Victoria Sponge, that's the idea.... 🤣🤣
Cocomarine · 25/03/2021 18:32

Dated, but not negative. Suggests financially well off, but not necessarily very rich. Outwardly wealthy too, I think - I don’t mean in the sense of flashy expensive cars, just, not in something (cars, clothes, house) that actually hides their affluence.
I only consider it related to money not attitude - so funny though it is, the apple pie description doesn’t fit for me!

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 25/03/2021 18:32

I think Tolkien explained 'well to do' brilliantly.

"In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.

It had a perfectly round door like a porthole, painted green, with a shiny yellow brass knob in the exact middle. The door opened on to a tube-shaped hall like a tunnel: a very comfortable tunnel without smoke, with panelled walls, and floors tiled and carpeted, provided with polished chairs, and lots and lots of pegs for hats and coats—the hobbit was fond of visitors. The tunnel wound on and on, going fairly but not quite straight into the side of the hill—The Hill, as all the people for many miles round called it—and many little round doors opened out of it, first on one side and then on another. No going upstairs for the hobbit: bedrooms, bathrooms, cellars, pantries (lots of these), wardrobes (he had whole rooms devoted to clothes), kitchens, dining-rooms, all were on the same floor, and indeed on the same passage. The best rooms were all on the left-hand side (going in), for these were the only ones to have windows, deep-set round windows looking over his garden, and meadows beyond, sloping down to the river.

This hobbit was a very well-to-do hobbit, and his name was Baggins. The Bagginses had lived in the neighbourhood of The Hill for time out of mind, and people considered them very respectable, not only because most of them were rich, but also because they never had any adventures or did anything unexpected: you could tell what a Baggins would say on any question without the bother of asking him. This is a story of how a Baggins had an adventure, and found himself doing and saying things altogether unexpected. He may have lost the neighbours’ respect, but he gained—well, you will see whether he gained anything in the end.

... the mother of this hobbit—of Bilbo Baggins, that is—was the famous Belladonna Took, one of the three remarkable daughters of the Old Took, head of the hobbits who lived across The Water, the small river that ran at the foot of The Hill. It was often said (in other families) that long ago one of the Took ancestors must have taken a fairy wife. That was, of course, absurd, but certainly there was still something not entirely hobbitlike about them, and once in a while members of the Took-clan would go and have adventures. They discreetly disappeared, and the family hushed it up; but the fact remained that the Tooks were not as respectable as the Bagginses, though they were undoubtedly richer."

Marzipanfruit · 25/03/2021 21:49

LifesNotEnidBlyton
Nah! Apple jam is like badly made pie filling. Jelly is far superior, specially when made with foraged crab apples and rowan. Totally off the point now, sorry!

BrightYellowDaffodil · 25/03/2021 22:12

I'd take it as a phrase used by people to be a bit disparaging of those they perceived to be socially above them, whether they were or not in reality.

As in, "Hark at her with her new car. Some fancy themselves well to do, don't they?"

Notjustanymum · 27/03/2021 14:43

It means “having more than adequate financial resources”, that’s all, so if you’ve no debt and can afford all your bills and have resources to cover unexpected outgoings, that’s you!

Tinydinosaur · 27/03/2021 14:54

Uptight, self righteous, superiority complex, money in the family.

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