To ask if anyone else feels like this and what they did about it?

[stilltiredinthemorning]

I'm nearly 43 and have had mild depression for most of my life. It is very well managed with low dose medication and although I obviously have some bad days it doesn't disrupt my life too much and I am very used to it. Then, about 18 months ago I started getting anxiety symptoms. I didn't notice too much at first, I just felt a bit nervy, my hands shook a bit and I often had an upset stomach. It seemed to be triggered by anything to do with my daughter, who was having a bit of a hard time at pre-school with staff expressing concerns about her development. It got to the point where even seeing the 'parentmail' app on my phone or driving past the building made me feel like I might have a panic attack. I eventually had a complete meltdown at work (which was incredibly embarrassing), had to take 6 weeks off and then ended up handing in my notice. It was a relatively senior post in paediatric health and I think colleagues assumed I found it too stressful, but actually that wasn't the case at all, but I was such a nervous wreck and not sleeping etc. I just didn't feel it was fair on my team.

I've tried a couple of different medications, which have made no difference at all and my usual SSRI medication doesn't seem to touch it.

Anyway, all this time later, I thought things were a bit better and then 'boom' my daughter's class teacher suggests a meeting to discuss her learning and I'm back to my heart constantly racing, unable to cope with idea of doing the most simple things, can't concentrate, feel sick etc etc. I feel completely ridiculous. I know my daughter has some additional needs, it's not the end of the world it just is what it is, but here I am completely losing my mind.

I'm beginning to think it's more about me and if that wasn't the trigger something else would be, but it's just come out of nowhere, I've no idea why and it's really frightening me. I feel like it's going to completely derail my life and obviously it's not good for my kids or my husband either. How am I going to support my daughter by attending meetings/meeting professional etc. if even the thought of it makes me want to vomit. It's made all the more ridiculous by the fact that I'm a paediatric healthcare professional myself and meet parents and children with much more significant difficulties every day.

I don't think anyone else I know experiences anything this extreme and I just wondered how common it is and what if anything I can do about it?? (the doctor has said that there's not really any other medication to try and I don't really feel like counselling has helped)

My guess is peri-menopause. New and/or increased anxiety is a classic, very common symptom, and ad's are rarely effective and not recommended. I started with this at 40 and HRT completely took it away.

Here's some good info...

i.stuff.co.nz/life-style/well-good/teach-me/113666670/perimenopause-lead-up-to-menopause-very-uncomfortable-and-poorly-understood

www.independent.co.uk/news/health/menopause-antidepressants-symptoms-worse-hrt-shortage-a9148951.html

Is there any chance you have undiagnosed neurological disorders yourself which may be the underlying cause of both your depression and your anxiety?

ASD /ADD/ADHD are very much under-diagnosed in women of your age...

I don’t mean to sound flippant at all but do you exercise? I’ve managed to run myself out of anxiety and I didn’t really believe it would be possible. I think I need the hormones that it produces (endorphin etc).

Speak to a different dr?
I am on AD and I also have propranolol with greatly helps with the feelings you describe. It really stops those feelings of rising panic. I have, in the past, taken them 3 X a day then stopped them altogether when things improved. During the pandemic I am taking as and when needed (mostly at work!) or if I have to do something and it’s making me panic. I also take occasionally when my head feels like it’s going to explode and my thoughts are racing so much I can’t even get to sleep I take one and they really allow me to actually get to sleep.

Have you had your thyroid checked recently? Just to rule out hyperthyroidism?

Have you ever had talk therapy to explore underlying emotional causes for your depression and now your anxiety?

Thanks everyone, for all the responses. Aquamarine I did wonder about perimenopause, especially as these symptoms just seemed to come from nowhere (along with insomnia, which I'd NEVER had previously), but my periods are still regular as clockwork and I don't have any other symptoms so my doctor says no.... Everythingiswonderful propranolol is one of the medications I tried (along with beta blockers) but sadly they had no effect whatsoever. Apparently they just don't work for some people. My GP is understandably reluctant to prescribe tranquillisers, although sometimes the thought of Valium is VERY tempting.

Cailleach I did also consider ADHD, but again the GP thought not.

LadyCatStark I don't do very much exercise and I'm sure it would help, but I'm pretty overweight and unfit and honestly with 2 small children who wake at 5am and chronic sleep deprivation I don't know when I'd do it!

Thanks everyone, for all the responses. Aquamarine I did wonder about perimenopause, especially as these symptoms just seemed to come from nowhere (along with insomnia, which I'd NEVER had previously), but my periods are still regular as clockwork and I don't have any other symptoms so my doctor says no...

Your doctor is woefully misinformed, as so many are when it comes to peri-menopause. I highly suggest you see a specialist. I did and it was the best decision I ever made. Your periods being regular is in no way "proof" you aren't in peri-menopause. Symptoms come in all different stages, in many different ways depending on the woman. Like you, my anxiety came out of absolutely nowhere, like a lightning bolt.

I agree with Aqua. You can be in peri for up to 10 years before the actual menopause.

I'm 42 and my periods are still regular but slowly and surely I'm starting subtle symptoms of peri, the main one being anxiety.

Honestly the best thing I have done for this is to stop drinking alcohol. I started noticing a pattern in that the more I drank, the worse my PMT became. After one last horriffic and massively anxious month, I decided to quite alcohol for a bit to see what difference it made. I was under the national recommended limit per week, but went down to zero. That was 6 months ago and it has helped my anxiety about 99%. I never want to go back to feeling those levels of anxiety, ever.

I don't think you can underestimate how hard and bloody exhausting day to day modern life is. We should make it our priority to look after our mental health. Keep trying different things OP. You need the find the cocktail of whatever it is that works for you and keeps you sane.

Thanks PamelaPeaches I think you're right and alcohol does make it worse. I've cut my caffeine right down too.

Aquamarine1029 yes, perhaps I should see a specialist, would that be a gynaecologist???

It's just so scary and horrible. I have to just go about the day on autopilot but inside I feel like something terrible is about to happen or has just happened. A sort of terrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach while at the same time my heart is racing like I'm waiting for the results of a scan or similar. It's not like I'm worrying about something specific it's just a sort of terrible fear and I don't feel 'safe'. When it subsides after a few days I feel exhausted and almost as if I've lived through some kind of trauma, even though NOTHING has happened.

Does anyone else feel anything like that??

I know exactly what you're feeling, and yes, it is fucking horrible. Find a gynea who specialises in peri, not all of them are equal. Also, I would look into taking magnesium and vit d, which are commonly deficient in women our age and can exacerbate anxiety.

I would agree with perimenopause. I've been prone to low mood most of my life but started experiencing physical anxiety symptoms out of the blue when I was around 37. GP (female) did a hormone profile and said inconclusive, and I could be in peri for 10yrs... leaving my dead marriage helped for a while, but a bit of a drastic approach!

Thank you for sharing I could have written this post. Although I have always been prone to anxiety, it’s now significantly worse and I too feel the constant dread you describe.
Out of interest would anyone share the other symptoms of peri menopause no matter how random? Hormones were ruled out for me but I’m not convinced.
Sorry to hijack but I think by starting this thread you could help quite a few of us as well. Thank you, I hope you get some relief.

Out of interest would anyone share the other symptoms of peri menopause no matter how random? Hormones were ruled out for me but I’m not convinced

First of all, blood work for hormone levels is not how peri is diagnosed, because the results are unreliable. During peri your levels are constantly fluctuating (that's why we get all the problems we deal with), so one day your levels could be "normal", the next day they aren't. Diagnosis is based on your symptoms and ruling other things out like thyroid issues, etc. Symptoms are/can be new/increased anxiety, sleeping issues/insomnia, digestive problems, skin problems, aching, stiff joints, hair loss, headaches, brain fog, hot flushes, night sweats, fatigue, changes in your period which can be lighter or heavier, weight gain, along with other problems. Every woman is different, and your symptoms can come and go and change as you progress through peri. One thing that is almost universally true is to not depend on a gp to help. They are usually ignorant about peri and just dismiss your suffering.

Thank you @Aquamarine1029 that’s helpful

Read "Hormone Repair Manual" by Lara Briden. She discusses anxiety which suddenly appears in the 40's. Various strategies include cutting out gluten/dairy, taking Magnesium, Vit B6 & Zinc.

@stilltiredinthemorning
I've felt like this when I had an undiagnosed thyroid condition. A lot of symptoms-under or active thyroid are interchangeable.
Have you had Thyroid Function Blood Tests recently? It's very common in women over 40.

l2b2 no I haven't, but interestingly I did have one a long time ago (like 20 years!) and was told my results were 'borderline', but the tested again a few months later and they'd improved. I started another thread a few weeks ago about struggling to lose weight (amongst other things) and since then have been trying a 1200 calorie a day diet and am STILL not losing weight...

Hi,

Since my child was diagnosed with asd I've had bad anxiety. He's a bright boy but any phone calls from school and pick up time makes me hugely anxious. It stops me sleeping well also. This year has made my anxiety worse. I've recently developed a slight head tremor so just waiting for blood test results back. I hope yours settles down soon.

Hi scotlandg I'm really sorry to hear you feel so anxious too - it's horrible isn't it? Hopefully we'll both find a way to feel better sooner rather than later.

Might just be peri and pandemic. I've never been so stressed as last 12 months. Hitting meno and pandemic. I'm sure once pandemic goes you will feel more relaxed. I know I will