Emotional Blackmail by Daughter

[Crystal17]

I have been with my husband for 21 years and am considerably older than him. He got very friendly with a woman at work and they were texting each other. I found out and we had a major fall out over it. He has promised to break all contact and had even moved to another branch to avoid contact. He assures me that it was not physical and has accepted that this was unacceptable behaviour, and has promised never to do anything like that again. My daughter( from a previous marriage) thinks I should leave him and has actually sent me a text stating that if I stay with him she cannot be a part of my life. I am late 60's and apart from this have had a very happy marriage. I feel that my daughter is way out of order and emotionally blackmailing me. I have decided to stay with my husband but I am mortified that I am losing my only child. She herself has had many relationships that have never worked out and I have always supported her unconditionally without judgement. Can anyone advise how to get this issue resolved.

I’ll hazard a guess that you’ve been leaning on her and this is the reason for her response.
If you don’t want people’s opinions then shut up about it and don’t tell them.
Or maybe she knows something you don’t?
That single text message is very out of context. You are hiding something

I guess your daughter is feeling very hurt and betrayed because she knows how hurt you were and it is very difficult for her to see you continue a relationship with a person who caused that distress. So she is doing what she feels she needs to do to cope.

I think you need to be honest with her and say you don't want to lose her, she means the world to you and could she go with you to some sort of therapy so you can talk this through with a bit of guidance. There's a lot of strong emotion on both sides and there's a lot to lose. It's worth putting in the effort to save it. Good luck.

My adult daughter told me the night before I threw my ex out that he had to go or she would - she was 18 at the time. As it happened I was able to tell her he would be leaving the next morning. It wasn't one thing that led to this, it was years of her watching him treat me like dirt, of suspecting he was talking to other women while I was away overnight with work, hearing him calling our son a "little b*d" which he always denied but I know now to be true, and finally of him touching her inappropriately all very "accidental" on his part of course - I am NOT saying your husband has done any of this btw, but just trying to demonstrate that its very unlikely that a full grown adult daughter is going to flip out over this one incident.

Try speaking to her - get in touch, tell her you want to understand her reasons, that you know she cares about you - that you have to make your own life choices, but you want to understand her objections to you continuing your marriage.

You could go the other way and tell her to bog off, mind her own business and you'll do what you like, but then I suspect your relationship with her would be over, and I definitely wouldn't want to lose my children over a man without trying my hardest to keep the relationship.

What’s the backstory?