Come and tell me about a relationship you’ve never quite got over?

[Bigshoelittleshoe]

I’ll start.

Started seeing a guy at uni. Mid way through first year. Was great, had loads of fun and lived in the same accommodation block so we saw each other loads and had shared friends and so on. We were together for about a year. It probably wouldn’t have panned out long long term but it was good in a solid university relationship if that makes sense?

Out of nowhere one day he broke up with me. I hadn’t seen it coming at all. He wouldn’t talk to me again after that day. He wouldn’t discuss it or anything.

We all moved the separate houses for the rest of uni so I didn’t see him too much but if I did bump into him around campus he wouldn’t even acknowledge me.

I wonder about him from time to time and feel like it never really had any closure?!

Anyone else want to share?

My first love. Still think of him, often.

The one before this one. It would never have worked long term but it was amazing for a short period.
I feel as if there is ‘unfinished business’ in a way...not sure what I mean by that.
But my current relationship is kind and calm which is exactly what I need (& have never had before).

I'm not over my previous relationship (have now been with dh 8 years so really long time ago). But not in a fond or heartbroken way, I despise him and have realised over the years since how awful he was to me. Some of the things he did to me were abusive and I didn't see it at the time. The word abuse never crossed my mind until some time later, prob when I met now dh and realised how fucked up it had been.
He still lives nearby and I know he asks about me, and I just feel like he'll never truly be gone. Fucks up my sleep sometimes, I dream that we're back together then wake up so upset and stressed that I've cheated on dh.
So that's what I mean by not over, I've had counselling n everything but he still haunts me.

At college I became best friends with a guy and eventually it turned into a friends with benefits style arrangement. All was fine until I fell for him, hard, and he didn't feel the same. I didn't want to walk away so carried on sleeping with him, even when he said one time in bed 'I really wish I liked you', like yeah so do I believe it or not Eventually I decided it was bringing pain into my life rather than happiness so told him I couldn't talk to him anymore and to not contact me again. Its been many years now but I still think about him often

My first love. Both happily married now (I gather from looking at his social media. We don’t talk). But I’d love to have a coffee with him and just chat. Such an important part of 6 of the most formative years of my life and it feels a bit sad that we have no relationship at all now. I get why we can’t be friends, but I do think it’s a shame and I feel sadness about it.

I’m quite freaked out to see this post today because I dreamt about said guy last night. Haven’t set eyes on him in 13 years. I was crazy about him, even though he was a bit of a tosser but I do think about him often. In the context of how much he broke my heart than I’d want to be with him today. I’m friends with him on Facebook and occasionally do go and have a look at what he’s up to. Married with kids.
But all of that said, I am glad I’m not with him today.

My ex. We lived together and loved each other.
But I was damaged from last relationship and he wanted kids quickly. I didn't as I was early 20s.
His mum did a flit once the 2 sons left home so his dad was alone (alcy bastard though, she was lovely I don't blame her). She was awol for a while then discovered in London with a fab job and new Muslim toyboy (she looked fab and so happy). My ex was not happy about this.
He just wanted a family. I wasn't ready. He disconnected from me, cheated on me. I went back to mum's. It was a strong love. We had alot of firsts together and he wrote me poems and surprised me lots. Saw him at Xmas in town a few years ago. He stopped and stared right into my eyes. But I've got a ltr and kid and judging by the bulging toy shop bags, he's got loads of kids.
Oh well.

Had a long distance relationship when I was early 20's.

Met abroad (I was working / living there, he changed his ticket to stay on with us for a bit). Lived opposite ends of the country so did the long distance thing for a good 6 months when I returned to UK and then he moved down South. Het got a job / flat share, was going to college as well. We had a big holiday planned, talk of our own flat and were head over heels.

Got a phone call at work one day, my "DP" was on a train going home for good as he couldn't settle, hated my city and no longer saw a future here. He told me he'd bagged up my stuff I could collect it from his flatmate. He was sorry, wasn't me etc.... and then ended the call and turned his mobile off. Forever!!!! I tried to call him many times for many months he must have just got a new phone / number

It was well before smartphones and social media - there wasn't much I could do? We lived hundreds of miles apart, I didn't know his friends very well, had only ever been to his parents / stayed in hotels when visiting his hometown. I had no real means of contacting him up short of turning up on his parents doorstep (I was sorely tempted!). Suffice to say it wasn't the best of times for me.

I'd like to hook up with him to tell him what a cruel cunt he was - he left me out of pocket for the holiday as well as all the emotional distress. Hope he was a better boyfriend to the next person!!

Not so much a relationship, but a male friend and I in uni had a two year long 'will they won't they'. We often found ourselves dating other people but I knew deep down we both had feelings for each other but I think we were both terrified to make a move. We regularly argued out of jealousy though. I always wonder how it would have worked out if we had the guts, but think it probably would have ended a mess.

Either way very happy with my partner and situation now.

One was fairly short, about 6 months, but I’d never clicked with anyone so much and the attraction was off the scale. I still think about him sometimes years later, even though I’m married with a dc.. I don’t think we would have worked long term though? Very different priorities and goals and I’ve changed and grown a lot since then.

The other time was my uni boyfriend, long distance. He was lovely and we adored each other but I ended it on a whim in a bad mh patch. He’s now a major newspaper editor in the US and I think he’s married to the girl he met right after me... I regret the way I acted towards him and if I could go back I prob would do differently!

My first love. First cut is the deepest and all that. He doesn’t even look anything like he used to, but he still pops up in my dreams randomly as he once was.

Uni boyfriend... I’d not want to be with him now (unreliable but fun), way too flakey to be have an adult relationship with. But as s student it was great.

Not a relationship but a man I met. I felt the thunderbolt.

He lives abroad now and has no reason to come home to Britain
So I won’t see him again

But I really did like him

Not a relationship, but very close to one. We slept together once, as a one off, was only ever a one off, it was fun... first time i'd slept with anyone after my marriage broke down (2 years after, so wasn't a rebound) I'm demisexual, nearly Asexual to be honest, so sex isn't something i particularly want/need.. i just want closeness/cuddles/affection.

We're still friends, but before covid (cunting thing) we were incredibly closed, i was, and am still, irrevocably in love with him. He is amazing, he'd hold my hand, cuddle me all night, we spent days snuggled up watching shit on amazon prime, he kisses my hair, hugs me tight, speaks to me daily.. or did.

With no being able to see him the last year, we've lost that closeness, i'm gutted, he's recently started dating someone, and i'm honestly finding it hard to know that i've been 'replaced' and i wont be able to have that closeness with him again.

That guy is my happy place, its been 2 years since i fell for him, and i'm not sure i'll ever, ever get over him.

I'm over all of them but it took me a LONG time to be ok after my last one and I'm still bitter about what he did to me mentally.

Someone I worked with 15 years ago. He was amazing. We dated really briefly then I ended it because he was a bit crap, then we went back to being friends.

He was always The One. Like the name version of me. We could talk about anything and everything, and just used to laugh so much.

We’re both married to other people now. I miss him.

Every dog, rabbit, hamster, horse, cat and chicken I’ve ever owned or rescued. Once they’ve gone, I’m just shattered whenever I think about any of them, it doesn’t matter how much time passes. 💔 but animals are nicer than people and I guess it means I really loved them. I know that’s a bit pathetic.

The one that got away - someone I met whilst travelling, felt the thunderbolt, and had a very intense "something" with. Never came to anything, only spent a handful of days together in 10 years, never even DTD, I'm settled with two kids and I gather now he's married... But not a single day goes by I don't think about him and wonder what might have been. Ludicrous at my age, at least back then I had the excuse of being just a girl.

And then first uni boyfriend. He's still a friend and he's one of the sweetest, nicest, most wholesome people I ever met. I ADORED him, almost at once, loved everything about him - his sense of humour, his sincerity, his morals, his family. I fell so hard in love. Unfortunately I was his first (who stays with their first?), and our relationship unluckily coincided with me finally realising the extent to which my family and childhood had been deeply deeply fucked up and getting quite mentally ill over it. I was very very intense I'm sure. I basically told him he was The One about 6 months in, freaked him out, and not too much later he (very sweetly, gently) dumped me. I was fucking devastated. And sometimes, like when I went to his perfect wedding, and recently when I learned he's about to become a father, I feel a twinge. But to be fair his wife seems really nice, and he's so fucking lovely he deserves all the happiness in the world.

The sad thing about this thread is that it's reminded me I've never been anyone's "The One" I don't think. And now I'm old and boring and partnered up with someone who tolerates me I probably never will.

@BriarsHollow, that's not pathetic, that's lovely and sweet.

@Draineddraineddrained, you sound lovely too. Maybe you are the one for your one now, it's not always some big drama. Contentment speaks volumes.