to have ripped up a photo that technically belongs to a friend

[HairyToe]

Have I been unreasonable actually as I have already done it!

I have two very good friends, Friend A and Friend B - we have been friends for a looonnnnnnggg time. I am making a memory book for Friend A and asked her husband to send me some old photos. He did, including one of me and Friend B from years ago. You can hardly see me but Friend B is very drunk and completely topless - its a very unflattering and embarassing photo. The husband also included a 'funny' comment about the photo. I was immediately mortified on behalf of Friend B that the photo existed and that Friend A's husband had been looking at it and laughting. Without thinking I quickly ripped it up and threw it in the bin.

Now I have calmed down I feel really awful. If Friend A realises photo is missing and I have had it will she be furious that I have destroyed one of 'her' photos. I just felt instinctively that if the photo had been of me I would have wanted it destroyed immediately.

Have I been unreasonable?

yes

and very norty !!

YANBU. Say nothing to either friend and be very very vague if challenged on its whereabouts.

Not your photo not your place to destroy it but you are a very good friend and should be forgiven

shit hairy, i would be more than happy for my friends hubbies to be looking at pictures of me toppless and drunk - it would remind them that im not just a frumpy mummy. Christ alive, i would be blarrdy furious.

You do sound like a lovely caring friend though to be making a memory book, what a lovely thing to do If challenged say that you had a fit of "feminist blondeness" or something. Or say the dog ate it. Or you could say, yes, this is the best option - you put it to one side because you thought you best check with friend B before including it, and its gone missing. Yes, or just dont say anything.

YABU but you meant well

or, you could stick it back together, scan it into your computor and try and use photoshop or something similar to rehash it. I would do it for you but i dont have photoshop on this machine at the moment.

tell her the baby ate it

YANBU - You are a very good friend.

lucyellensmum - just trying something like you suggest at the moment , Hoping then that if it ever comes up I can hide the photo and then either claim to not be able to find it or convince Friend A to let me rip it up for the good of Friend B.

I really don't think Friend B would want the photo to be looked at an laughed over but agree my first impulse was a bit if an over-reaction...

Deny all knowledge of ever seeing the photo, Id be glad to have you as a friend

YANBU. If i was friend B I would be really pleased that you had done this (if friend B ever finds out about it). I am assuming that Friend A will probably at some point show the book to other people and it wouldn't be fair on B. I wouldn't want a topless photo of my friend in my memory book anyway!!

what Denny said!