To think this is a safeguarding issue?

[seatofmars]

DD (6) was in the playground today playing with three other girls. One girl starting crying and said 'my parents hit me all the time for no reason'. A bit of me is mortified for that girl's mum - I've always found her lovely - and no doubt the other girls went home and told their parents too.

One of the other girls told a teacher in the playground. The teacher told the girl off (the girl who was crying), saying, according to DD, 'people don't want to hear things like that!', which obviously made the girl cry even more.

I know that children say all sorts of things (and this incident itself has been reported to me by a 6 year old), but the teacher's (supposed) response does worry me slightly! Perhaps this was her way of cooling things down in the playground, and she did actually log it, though.

AIBU to not to be too keen on this response to the child? I am generally massively supportive of the school, and its teachers, but just thought this was a slightly worrying message to impart to a child.

A you can do is ring scho tomorrow, ask if a safeguarding member if staff us available and relay what your dd has told you.

Bear in ki s you are now relayi g what a child has told you what another child said, so you need to be factual and try to remember specific wording used by your dd.

Teacher here, bear in mind you are hearing it from a 6 year old, BUT if that was the teacher’s response then yes, absolutely not on. Find the DSL’s name and email on the school website and send an email, repeating what you’ve said here.

I've heard a lot of absolutely wild stories from kids in the playground about who supposedly hit who when they were playing. It's very possible that the story relayed to you by the other kids is wildly inaccurate, which would explain the teacher's otherwise bizarre reaction. Certainly follow up with the school, but don't worry too much just yet.

I absolutely would flag this with the schools designated safeguarding officer (you should be able to find out who that is on the school website - there's often a couple)

I have done safeguarding training loads of times but had to do some very recently for work again. Anyway so it's fresh in my mind. One of the things which they emphasise loads was that a child should always be believed. So yes this is worrying. How can you tell when it's just a kid telling lies and actual abuse? You can't!

Better to be safe than sorry, contact school to ensure that it was passed on to DSL. It may be part of a bigger picture that is building or it may be nothing but it is a SG issue and the school have a duty of cate.

Teacher here. I’d flag this up with the school too. Speak to the DSL. If yourDD has misinterpreted what happened there’s no harm done by letting school know. If shes told it exactly as it happened then the child needs support and the teacher needs rollocking!

YANBU. That's a bad reaction from the teacher.

I would pass on what your child has said to you regarding the child sharing about being hit at home.

On the teacher's response, I might be being tired here but it sounds like your child has told you what the other child said the teacher said, rather than your child heard the teacher say 'nobody wants to hear that'. Personally, I'd pass it on but be very mindful that you're the 4th person in the chain (teacher, child, your child, you) and at each step things can get mixed up. For example, it might be the teacher said to the child "nobody wants to hear that", which would be concerning, or it could easily be the teacher has told the child that if she needs to talk about things like this then speak to an adult, which would be reasonable because the burden of knowing about violence at home is a lot to put on a 6 year old (who might go home and tell their parents, who them call the friend's parents etc).

Definitely call the safeguarding lead for a discussion though.

I’d flag it up too. It is always better for these things to be investigated even f it makes things a bit uncomfortable for people.

That said, my reception child came home the other day and told me her friends mum had died. Which was a shock because I’d seen her at drop off that morning!

Much unpicking revealed that they had been taking about the resurrection (catholic school) for Easter and DD’s friends mum had been explaining to her DD the idea of being ‘re-born’ when you are baptised. So the kid told all her friends her mum had died and come back to life.

🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes, do follow it up with the school's safeguarding lead. You could just ring the school and ask them to get the DSL to call you back about a safeguarding matter. It may well be nothing, but you have no way of knowing that. Let the school build up a picture if there's one to make, and take whatever action is required.

Thanks all for the great responses. It's a tricky one. Will email, though I hate the idea of causing a storm over nothing, or causing grief for a teacher who was doing the right thing behind the scenes. I'm sure the HT is used to things like this, though, so I will mention it in a non-hysterical way, and let her do her job.

When l used to volunteer in a primary school, it was always made very clear that they would rather know about these things and they turn out to be nothing than not be aware of potential abuse going on. Call the school op - they will keep it confidential and won't mention your name.

I've flagged loads to school. One was a girl aged 10 who told my dd she was sore as her mum hit her. I rang school.

2nd was a girl other week hearing voices in her head y6