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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think it's possible to be friends with him?

3 replies

WhatHappenedToMonday · 22/03/2021 16:58

We’ve been separated for a few years now, I’ve always I want to have a good coparenting relationship with him and hopefully be friends. Our relationship has always been up and down. We went from talking normal and just texting few times a week to nothing now. He hangs up on me when I call him about the kids, doesn’t answer my texts for hours, or ignores me etc. The children stay at his 3 days a week, today he called me and asked if I can pick up the kids . I told him I couldn’t cuz I have a zoom meeting with a client soon. He gets angry, tells me to pray to God I’ll never need anything from him as he would never piss on me if I was on fire.

He’s always like this, every time you can’t do what he asks you to do, it’s always “ wait til you need something from me..”

It’s very toxic and I just want to have a good parenting relationship with him. Am I being naive here? Is it possible? I care about him, but honestly that “care “ is starting to turn to hate, I look at him and just feel angry sometimes.

OP posts:
Cadent · 22/03/2021 17:13

How can you think you can be friends with him?! He sounds exhausting!

I'm guessing you broke up with him? All the reasons why he didn't make a good partner are reasons why he can't be a good friend.

You need to keep communications very limited, just regarding DC.

VladmirsPoutine · 22/03/2021 17:29

Friendship and more importantly collaboration is possible with ex partners but not with this one it would seem. You could hope 'in time' - but frankly why bother. Is the arrangement formal or informal? That said as long as you're both cordial and keep it about the kids I see no need to be 'friends'.

WhatHappenedToMonday · 22/03/2021 17:31

Yes I was the one who initiated the divorce. I used to think he was still bitter, and thought he just needed time. Sometimes we'll get on well and I feel like there might be a chance for us to have a good coparenting relationship and then boom it's back to being toxic, blackmailing etc.

All the reasons why he didn't make a good partner are reasons why he can't be a good friend.

Never thought of it like that, wow.

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