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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Son's braces taken off

22 replies

Olympias · 22/03/2021 09:19

Hi all,
my son (16) is having his braces taken off this week - and having permanent retainer put in immediately after.
AIBU to ask the orthodontist if I could accompany my son to the appointment? (I feel if I should take a look at my son's teeth right after the braces come off - in case there is something I find I need to discuss).
A bonus question: any insights about permanent retainers? (and putting them in immediately after taking braces)?

OP posts:

Lsquiggles · 22/03/2021 09:25

I think in the current climate I would just see if he can video chat you once they've been taken off so you can see

Isadora2007 · 22/03/2021 09:26

He’s 16. Back off and let him ask his own questions.

titchy · 22/03/2021 09:28

Yes to permanent retainer ASAP! Dd didn't have one and her teeth drifted back so she had to have another (paid ) six months to get them back before permanent added.

matronyoshka · 22/03/2021 09:30

I don't know what the rules are, but you're definitely not unreasonable to want to accompany him.

With regards to permanent retainers, I've had mine for almost 18 months now and do wish I hadn't gone for them. My teeth have remained perfectly straight, but for all I know they would have done anyway with just the night time retainers (which I have no problems wearing 10 - 12 hours per day). The wires are very discreet, but they still irritate my tongue a bit and I often have a claustrophobic feeling from them always being there. I'm concerned for my teeth when eventually they need removing as they're really stuck on there and I don't have the strongest/thickest enamel. Your son will need to be very hot on brushing and flossing if he goes for them, but hopefully he's already developed good habits in that regard during his treatment?

I know it's very common for people not to wear removable retainers properly, so you/he need to consider very honestly whether he's likely to remember to wear them every night for years to come!

Not a totally straightforward decision, I'm afraid.

thecognoscenti · 22/03/2021 09:31

He's 16, he doesn't need his mummy there.

matronyoshka · 22/03/2021 09:34

I can see why others are saying he doesn't need his mum with him, but I disagree in this instance. It's a fairly important decision to make and I think multiple opinions will be helpful, as long as he's ok with you being there with him, and as long as the orthodontist permits it.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 22/03/2021 09:36

My son went in for a minor op at 16

The consultant had his facts wrong and if dh and i hadnt stepped in he would have had a different minor op

Id go in with a 16 year old if you are worried

I haven’t been going in with my 17 year old but obviously thats due to covid and I’m happy with the treatment he has received

SundayBreakfast · 22/03/2021 09:37

Please go with him. My orthodontist didn’t do a good job with mine and my parents weren’t very supportive after the braces had come off. I’m having to have braces again as an adult to sort it out now. It affected my confidence for a long time and I wish one of my parents had accompanied me.

megletsecond · 22/03/2021 09:38

A lot of 16 year olds won't have the confidence to ask anything.

I'd try and at least stick your head around or do a video chat. His teeth are important.

HelpMeh · 22/03/2021 09:38

I didn't need my parents with me but definitely would've done better with a permanent retainer. I didn't wear mine properly and my teeth are no longer straight. I now face the prospect of spending thousands to correct something that was already fixed once for free...

TheSandgroper · 22/03/2021 09:42

DD's orthodontic specialist was quite clear that movement imposed by the braces will not last a lifetime. Her teeth will want to go to where they were born to go without the retainer.

There are few restrictions here and I am paying for the braces so I attend all important appointments. In your case, I would certainly book a video discussion afterwards.

doublehalo · 22/03/2021 09:45

Yes, absolutely go with him. He's still a child.

MatildaTheCat · 22/03/2021 09:46

DS didn’t wear his bloody nighttime retainers properly, lost them, I replaced them and so it went on. His teeth moved. He regrets it now but unless he wants to get them fixed again that’s it.

Go with him and have a proper discussion.

PhantomErik · 22/03/2021 11:03

I've had a fixed retainer for 16 years now & my teeth still look the same as when my brace came off.

It hasn't caused any decay & I've eaten normally the whole time. It took a while to get used to it but it doesn't bother me now.

I was an adult when I had mine but would've wanted support if I was 16.

Loncan · 22/03/2021 11:15

I’ve had permanent retainers for almost 20 years on the bottom (standard practice for braces in Canada). My top teeth had no permanent retainers and moved so badly that I had to have Invisalign as an adult to correct it. I now have permanent retainers on both top and bottom. They take a little extra time to floss around, but there are special flossers and tools to help with that, and I feel like they are so so worth it in the long run.

Original poster

Olympias · 23/03/2021 09:12

I called the orthodontist's office today and was flatly refused.
And not just because of the corona - they've told me they never once had parents coming to the taking off appointment!
We've been paying for the whole thing out of pocket, btw.
(We are in Holland, in case you wondered).

In any case, thank you everybody - it was very helpful to get first-hand info about the retainer experience!

OP posts:

FedUpAtHomeTroels · 23/03/2021 10:00

Dd 16 had her braces off last month (a year late due to covid). She went in alone. I was a bit worried about what condition her teeth would be in after and because I wasn't allowed in I had told her if she needed it I'd pay for a deep clean with the hygenist I see. But they came off and she looked wonderful, they had done a clean to get all the braces glue, or whatever it is, off.
She went back one week later for the removable retianers. One more week wearing them and she can move to night time only.

kgal · 23/03/2021 10:08

I'm surprised by some of the comments. I have always attended DD (16) orthodontist appointments - a lot of them during lockdown as well. I would have been fine with not going to the normal checkups but the final one was important. We discussed the option of permanent retainers etc and it was really useful. They advised to wait for a year and she needs to wear the plastic retainers in the meantime.

UserTwice · 23/03/2021 10:10

DD was not allowed an adult to her "taking off" appointment because of Covid and she was only 14. The orthodontist did say we could ring up afterwards with any queries.

Champagneforeveryone · 23/03/2021 10:47

DS went on his own last month. I queried whether I was needed but was told no, which suits me fine. We've tried to encourage independence and if truth be told, I'm a little squeamish about the whole affair!

Vierty · 23/03/2021 10:49

yes of course you should go with him. it's one thing to let him go to a check up alone. However, you need to go to the removal to ask the questions. Our orthodontist lets us in always

SimonJT · 23/03/2021 10:52

If you have questions you can just call them.

I had a fixed retainer on my bottom teeth, they haven’t moved at all, I had a removable retainer on my top teeth, it broke and my parents wouldn’t buy a new one so my teeth moved back. As an adult I had to pay for invisalign on my top teeth.

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