To not know how EOW works when exh works shifts

[Paleninteresting]

My DD is 12. Ex’s has been working away and is now back to new new job on unpredictable 12 hour shifts. I have weekends off. How do folk do this? I can’t see the point of her going to him on his weekdays off, she will be at school most of the time?

They is a huge backstory with pisstaking behaviour from him and every effort to reduce child support payments. On top of him leaving in August and leaving me and DH to do everything until now.

I can’t see how this works for her or for me, just for him. AIBU

My ex works shifts, he has DS whenever his days off are. It's not really a big deal. Especially at the moment when all we can do is stay home anyway.

And to be honest it makes my life easier in the school holidays as ex is often off on weekdays to have DS while I'm working, so less money going on paid childcare.

As a previous poster has said on his days off. Yes if they are midweek that fine, her seeing her dad for 4 hours after school is better than nothing at all....

School holidays she would then see him all day.

Also it doesn’t have to be every other weekend.. this now is a non traditional pattern as most just go for what works....

She is 12, maybe have the conversation with her? Does she want to see dad after school or at weekends? See if you can get an working arrangement with DD input.

Well how it worked with us is that ExH saw his DC one Saturday night a month, and when they were adults they each of them independently broke all contact with him.

If I ever hear the expression because of my shifts I cringe inside. I had to manage to look after everything working difficult hours. Hmmm.

Shifts are great for covering school holidays. I get my DDs dads shifts a month in advance and it all works out ok.

OK, thank you for responding. Me and my DH used to have a weekend without children once a month when we recharged, another EOW in place for my DH children. I guess I feel annoyed we are adjusting around him as usual.

@Forevernamechange12333333 that’s interesting. How do you keep track of child support payment calculation, remember this one likes to pay as little as possible.

We alternate between days and weekends- why is it a waste him seeing her for 2 days during the week? Do you think that it's a waste of your time? There's still a few hours between home and bed.

@SD1978 I think it’s a waste because she has lots of online clubs in the week and she used to get EOW just with him. It’s a big difference.