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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why does my dog HATE this man?

82 replies

GingerNinjer · 21/03/2021 07:38

When my dog was a puppy I took her to my friends house. She was fine with everyone in the house (including friends brother, in his 60s) but hated her husband. Growled, barked, hid behind me, wouldn’t go to him, hid behind a chair growling at him ... all quite unusual.
Fast forward almost two years, friend and husband come to visit (just in the back garden). Dog again hated this particular man. She’s bigger now obviously and mature, she growled, continuously barked at him, heckles raised ... he put his hand out for her to sniff and she started air snapping at his hand. She just wasn’t going to warm to him at all so we had to separate her. How bloody weird!!

Friend then told me their own dog doesn’t like him either?! AIBU to really wonder why?

OP posts:
CreosoteQueen · 21/03/2021 08:29

(I meant non-psychopathic not non-psychotic - apologies)

ThatQuietOne · 21/03/2021 08:33

Glasses, beard?!

One of our dogs absolutely hated my dad for the first year of her life. He is the kindest, most gentle, animal loving soul that you could meet. She’s fine with him now (once she eventually realised that he’d take her on fun walks) - I think tall / glasses / beard might have been the issue (she occasionally barks at similar men when we are out).

I don’t buy the “intuition” theory Grin.

Cleverpolly3 · 21/03/2021 08:37

There will be a reason the dog is this way.
Just a question of whether it’s due to something innocent or more sinister.

LakieLady · 21/03/2021 08:37

Perhaps he sounds, or smells, like someone who was once unkind to the dog when she was a puppy.

@PamDemic, I knew someone who had a dog like that. A dog behaviourist I met said that it's harder for dogs to read the facial expressions of dark-skinned people.

And they can be spooked by anything unfamiliar. A friend who breeds and shows had a dog that went ballistic at a show when he was examined by a judge who was wearing a hat. She now gets all her puppies used to hats by wearing one around the house when they're small.

My late DM had a fox terrier when she was young. He had a thing about boys in wellington boots (would try to nip them) and nuns. The nun thing was unfortunate, as they lived near a convent at the time.

At least he only used to bark at the nuns, not try and bite them.

picknmix1984 · 21/03/2021 08:38

We once had a workman doing the kitchen. The dog cowered when she saw him and tried to run away. He did turn out to be a sod and ripped us off. I trust my dog.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 21/03/2021 08:39

Have you considered that maybe your dog is the one at fault? Oh yeah, he acts all nicey-nice around you, but maybe this man has seen a darker side to old Rover. Doggie knows this man is on to him so is doing the whole double bluff thing.

MrsChicken89 · 21/03/2021 08:44

My dogs the same, certain people she just doesn't like, my uncle in his 70s, my friends husband in his 30s. She used to love my grandma, would sit on her for hours after my grandad passed away she won't go near her.

TheChip · 21/03/2021 08:45

If you feel something about him that you can't put your finger on, could your dog be picking up on the vibes you give off?

My dog is oversensitive to me and if I feel a slight unease about someone I am passing, he reacts and is more on guard.

Original poster
GingerNinjer · 21/03/2021 08:49

@TheChip

If you feel something about him that you can't put your finger on, could your dog be picking up on the vibes you give off?

My dog is oversensitive to me and if I feel a slight unease about someone I am passing, he reacts and is more on guard.

Yes mine is the same. I have to be careful in the street not to “tense up” when passing someone I don’t like the look of of my dog reacts to them.
OP posts:
RhubarbAndMustard · 21/03/2021 08:51

My aunts dog does this to me and I have absolutely no idea why. I am, I think, quite a nice person.

I really hope my aunt doesn't listen to the 'trust your dog' brigade and banish me from their lives!

I am a little anxious around dogs after my sister was bitten as a child. I would assume it's what the dog is picking up on, although it's the only dog that does react that way to me.

LadyLolaRuben · 21/03/2021 08:55

Apparently dogs evaluate everyone they meet to see if they will fit in with their pack 'norms'. So basically assess if the person will confirm to the pack leaders rules. In this case that leader is you. It seems your dog doesn't think your friends partner is suitable company and your dog is trying to protect you from someone they believe you won't like

kiln · 21/03/2021 08:58

My dog reacted to the odd person very occasionally (maybe 5 over 15 years) one of these was a man in a pub, I was embarrassed so I left with her, within 20 mins of leaving I had a message from my friends who stayed telling me that 5 minutes after we left the man she had been barking at went mad shouting and smashing up the place.

Alreadyinmypyjamas · 21/03/2021 09:00

My dog has only ever growled at my friend's husband. She really does not like him.

I don't blame her.

oakleaffy · 21/03/2021 09:05

@HikingInTheHills

Don’t listen to your dog, that’s just silly. Your dog does not have secret knowledge that this man is a serial killer or once kicked a puppy with his right foot some such rubbish. It’s probably his smell, his body shape, his movement or the tone of his voice. Just control the dog and let him know aggression towards the man is unacceptable because it’s not acceptable at all for a dog to behave that way to a human in a social situation. The dog is last in the pecking order.
This.

I had a dog that was terrified of hoovers. Wouldn't go near them and ran from the room when one was dragged out.

Didn't mean that the hoover was ''Wicked'' or ''Evil''

''Don't trust that hoover''!

Kiln · 21/03/2021 09:06

@PamDemic

I don't know -my dog is racist, he barks at all people of colour. It's really embarrassing - I had a black electrician here last week and he just wouldn't stop barking.

He barks every time the (Asian) neighbours walk by. He's fine with everyone else.

I read somewhere, can't remember where that some dogs struggle to see dark skin which can look like shadows to them. Maybe that's why your dog is barking?
Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 21/03/2021 09:08

@Dragongirl10 is right OP. Why would you find that so hard to believe? Trust your Dog.

oakleaffy · 21/03/2021 09:10

@RhubarbAndMustard

My aunts dog does this to me and I have absolutely no idea why. I am, I think, quite a nice person.

I really hope my aunt doesn't listen to the 'trust your dog' brigade and banish me from their lives!

I am a little anxious around dogs after my sister was bitten as a child. I would assume it's what the dog is picking up on, although it's the only dog that does react that way to me.

I had two very well behaved Sighthounds.

But there was a woman they paid a lot of attention to, as in, watching her {not barking at all}.

The woman was very frightened of dogs, and kept staring at them...to see where they were, even though they were always on leads when we saw her.

Dogs sense if people are nervous or afraid, and if someone is staring at them, they can see this as a challenge.

Flibbitygibbit · 21/03/2021 09:15

@marchez

Hes a Terminator
As in Arnie ??? 🤣
year5teacher · 21/03/2021 09:17

I’ll be honest, I would be wary of this man whilst realising how stupid it was to be wary of him. He probably just has a weird smell that dogs can pick up on or something.
I can just find men quite frightening in general.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 21/03/2021 09:17

@Dragongirl10

Listen to your dog he knows something you don’t, and l am neither a woo person or being flippant. There is something wrong , bad or evil about this man that is clear to your dog. Avoid at all costs.
Or better yet, just throw the guy in jail now. He's obviously a rapist, paedophile or murder, yes? 🙄.

OP, it could just be his smell or his body language. There are a couple of dogs in my town that my dog absolutely hates. Most dogs he just walks by and ignores, but one in particular gets his hackles right up. No real reason for it, the dog and its owner seem perfectly nice.

Forwhatitsworth101 · 21/03/2021 09:18

I used to be nervous around dogs (have got better since my partners parents got two over lockdown) as I was bitten as a child, but for some reason they without fail when running/walking in the park always come bounding towards me wanting to be petted. It’s quite sweet actually.

SerendipityJane · 21/03/2021 09:20

@PamDemic

I don't know -my dog is racist, he barks at all people of colour. It's really embarrassing - I had a black electrician here last week and he just wouldn't stop barking.

He barks every time the (Asian) neighbours walk by. He's fine with everyone else.

Is it possible your dog is reacting to your reaction ?
dottiedodah · 21/03/2021 09:21

Dogs often have a 6th sense about a person .Its probably best not to visit him with the dog .But dont go alone either .They are very sensitive and can smell is someones "off" or not

oakleaffy · 21/03/2021 09:21

@TheChip

If you feel something about him that you can't put your finger on, could your dog be picking up on the vibes you give off?

My dog is oversensitive to me and if I feel a slight unease about someone I am passing, he reacts and is more on guard.

Dogs are so good at ''reading'' the person they are with.

I was very anxious that my dog would vomit when travelling I a vehicle.

{Dog vomited messily as a pup and ex DH went potty shouting that his new leather upholstery had been ruined..}

BUT...One day a friend ''Dog Sat'' and friend said ''We had a lovely day, we went to visit my mum ON THE BUS'' {A fair distance away and a winding route}

I said ''Wasn't Twiggy terribly sick?''

Friend said ''No, she just curled up on my lap''

I realised then that Twiggy was taking my anxiety re vomiting and when I calmed down Twiggy wouldn't vomit... But if I got into a ''worry'' that she might...sure enough the ''Yok YoK' Yok'' sound was heard within a minute of leaving the house .

Dogs read us so closely, and react accordingly.

florapalmer · 21/03/2021 09:23

Not a dog obvs but my ex used to terrify small children...he is white, but very dark with very light eyes, hard to explain but it was an unusual combination and he often used to get looked at twice in the street by people. On several occasions at parties or whatever a toddler or baby would take one look at him and burst into tears or try and hide behind their mum! Ironic really because he was great with children.

Does this man have anything unusual about his appearance?

We have the opposite, Ddog is not good with strangers at all and will cower and snarl if people come too close but once in a blue moon there will be a random person he decides is a good egg and is happy to be buddies with. Dogs are weird!

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