To ask you to help me sort my house out

[Merryoldgoat]

I’m in a right funk with my house. I’ve uploaded the floor plan to give some context.

Basically my toddler is a wrecking ball and there is no escape. He’s likely autistic and obsessed with emptying drawers and pushing my furniture around.

I can’t deal with it because there is nowhere to hide as my living room is big and open plan so the house never looks tidy and I find it extremely difficult to cope with.

Can you see a way of rearranging the downstairs? I’m not averse to some building work but I think it’s limited in terms of what I can do.

Any geniuses out there who can help?

What’s really depressing is we bought the house because we liked the layout so much but now I find it’s the bane of my life.

Can you section off part of the living room to use as a playpen? We did this to keep DS1 and his small toys away from baby DS2 when DS1 was three. We used panels that looked a bit like stair gates, and one was a gate.

Do you have room in the lounge where you could put a wall of built in cupboards? Like ikea pax.

He won't be able to move them and you could have lockable doors so he wouldn't be able to empty stuff out.

Maybe divide a corner off for him with a couple of cheap kallax units with boxes of his stuff he can empty and quick to tidy up.

A playpen won’t work as we tried that - he just screeched and chucked stuff out.

I am wondering if I could create a sort of ‘playroom’ by sectioning off the back. It woul be very dark though.

Is a conservatory an option OP? You could use it as a family room rather than a playroom so he's not in there by himself, but then it keeps your lounge presentable.

Where does the side door open onto? Could you section off an area adjacent for a playroom?

I’m not sure about a conservatory - whilst the garden is long it’s misleading as it’s a strange shape so would cut down a lot of usable space.

That might be an idea though - I’ll talk to DH.

B&Q do room dividers that you could use to section off a corner as a
Play area (this may not be an option if he’s likely to be barrelling into walls though). My 7yo is autistic and also liked emptying drawers, so we took anything important upstairs and use IKEA kallax in the sitting room. Yes he’d pull boxes out and tip out the contents, but it takes a lot less time shovelling it all back in than it does to refill drawers! We also took to keeping more toys in his room so there would be less to throw about downstairs, and at that age he wasn’t upstairs without us anyway so carnage kept to one room.

He doesn’t empty out my drawers quite so often these days, but we have bought him a lot of small storage items to keep him happy - he loves kilner jars and the red toy storage suitcase boxes we got from IKEA. He spends a fair bit of time emptying those and refilling with other items he’s found on his travels.

@Merryoldgoat

A playpen won’t work as we tried that - he just screeched and chucked stuff out.

I am wondering if I could create a sort of ‘playroom’ by sectioning off the back. It woul be very dark though.

You mean like so? It could work. Use internal windows to bring in the natural light; you can always pull a curtain across when you have guests! My cousin, who has the most immaculate house, used to have a little room like that when her children were small - full to the brim with toys, but everywhere else was super-tidy.

Obviously you’d lose some living space, but if you’re not using all three bedrooms, could you put a sofa in one and have an upstairs sitting room?

Some of these might help

www.clippasafe.co.uk/products/drawer-locks?gclid=Cj0KCQjw3duCBhCAARIsAJeFyPXwPan4EBpcXdh9dMOudCPhCMt9lDJKNwSA-X_BOJ8wpraP14BvFDkaAv8AEALw_wcB

You can get similar things for cupboard doors, too.

Part of me is tempted to suggest getting heavier furniture - I can barely move my smaller sofa on my own, and the 3-seater is a sofabed with a metal frame and I can't budge it at all.

Do you have hard floors? It might be harder for him to push the furniture about on carpet.

Another possibility might be to let him play in the hallway where you can keep an eye on him when you're in the kitchen, and put a bolt up high on the sitting room door so he can't get in there on his own.

Mind you, he might stop. Both my DB and my DSS went through a phase of doing this, and they both stopped after a while. I guess it was part of the "terrible twos".

The more I look the more unsure I am.

We use all three bedrooms as we have 2 DS. The bedrooms are all a great size and the 8yo (also autistic) has all his stuff upstairs. He just wasn’t a tornado like the younger.

I can cope with some mess but the furniture moving and drawer emptying makes me see red (internally - shouting would do nothing).

Maybe I just have to put up with it until he’s old enough to mostly play in his room.

A playpen won’t work as we tried that - he just screeched and chucked stuff out

It's a good job I never had kids. I'd have turned my music up to drown out the noise and left him to it, then put the toys back in the playpen when he stopped. I'd bring up children the same way as I trained my dogs - by ignoring negative behaviour (unless it was dangerous, obvs) and rewarding the positive.

I know those serving hatches between kitchens and living rooms were naff as fuck, but they were excellent for toddler surveillance.

There are drawer lock things that attach round the side and front of drawers. I've used and seen them in others house's. I'm a cleaner. They keep little hands from opening the drawers. Just a suggestion.

We have one living room/ dining area, I literally have to climb over toys all day and then come 5pm dinner start cleaning so once the kids are in bed at 7pm my house is an adult space. It sucks and I’d love a play room- the crafts and sequins are the worst!!!

I like those @LakieLady

I will get some and see if that helps.

We do have hard floors which I can’t change as the only garden access is via the living room and it would get really nasty.

I could look at heavier furniture so I’ll do that but he mostly concentrates on dining chairs and his toy boxes and his small bookshelf so not much change there.

Can you anchor the furniture to the wall with eye bolts and wire/tip brackets?

Then put drawer locks on most drawer and leave a couple open for him to have fun with?

What about creating a smaller playroom within the larger room, with walls not movable dividers , like this....

Hmm cross post. Anchor book case to the wall, put his toy boxes on wheels so they dont make an awful sound and consider buying a integral table and bench seat set, a bit like a picnic table. Not very elegant but probably less trouble in the long run

Put locks on the drawers and give him a ball pit to empty. You can shovel the balls back in with a dustpan.

The pushing furniture could be a sensory seeking behaviour, related to his vestibular and proprioceptive senses. Some daily/ regular input may reduce the need in him and save your sanity. Things like wheelbarrows, trampette, swing, carrying a little rucksack of a body sock may help.

Get him boxes on wheels for input and fixed to the wall furniture

The boxes are on wheels - that creates its own issue as he kind of surfs in/on them 😬

Ball pit is a good idea - he loves balls.

I suspect it is sensory seeking behaviour.

What about something like a Nugget couch? He can move it and roll on it and build it as much as he likes. A ball pit is also a good idea. Or a soft play set.

I have magnetic door locks on all my drawers. I've found as well that fewer toys out helps my ds calm down and more of the open ended type toys.

I had a wrecking ball with autism. To save my sanity we removed everything that wasn't essential and put locks on all doors where anything he could get at couldn't be removed. It was easier than dealing with picking up after him, removing stuff from him and the meltdowns this would provoke. Yes the house didn't look pretty but it cut down my stress levels considerably.

Yes I meant like @KingdomScrolls first pic, maybe a small contained area accessible outside if there is space.

If you think its sensory behaviour you can add different balls to the pit. Add balls with different texture, colour, light and sound.