Limerance

[Squidgyflump]

Limerance. Aaaaargh!!!!!

Currently experiencing it....it's so annoying!!!

I would never act upon it and am very aware that that whole situation is ridiculous, but I can't seem to get a grip! (Thought I'd got over it recently but it all came back!)

Tell me your light-hearted stories of when you did act upon feelings and it all went a bit pear shaped.

Is Limerance what you call a crush?

It's more like an intense, obsessive kind of crush that takes up almost all head space.

A crush is a sweet puppy that you can cuddle. Limerence is a wolf with its fangs deep in your neck.

Yes, I have had this a few times, but I have BPD and obsessing over someone kind of comes with the territory.

It's a crush. It will pass.

Had this for someone I’d socially known for years - we were both in relationships but I’d see him everywhere I went. I dreamt about him. I wasn’t obsessed but it was like the universe kept shoving him in my path.

I eventually ended up single and the first night I had out I literally bumped into him at a bar. I turned around and he was just stood there. Out of nowhere.

Long story short, we hooked up. And then again a few weeks later. It was great physically.

But, we just were not on the same page on any level at all. I couldn’t vibe with him.

In my younger days I’d have probably ignored it. Probably just gone with it. Ignored the fact that we didn’t have more than the chemistry. Tried to make it more than what it really was.

But for the first time in my life I just went “nah I can’t be arsed” - I just couldn’t be bothered with the inevitable heartache I knew I’d be creating for myself. I valued my sanity far more.

Funnily enough, with my current partner it was a slow burn. I wasn’t massively keen after our first date but gave it a second chance and after about 2 weeks I was head over heels. Obsessed and in love! And still feel (mostly) the same many years later.

In summary - mad sexual chemistry AND legit attraction to them AS A PERSON is amazing

Mad chemistry but you know they’re most likely a twat and will twist your brain for months : don’t bother

why does limerance come on suddenly when you have known someone for years and not felt it???

I have had a long history of this and have had it for many people. All of who I can tell in retrospect weren’t worth it.

I am old and cynical now and have a daughter who takes priority so no chance I would have the luxury of indulging this any more and seek our other qualities. But I do regret not getting therapy for it when I was younger. The amount of emotional energy it has drained from me now makes me really pissed off.