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Unnatural mothers with natural fathers

1 reply

JillBob · 20/03/2021 17:37

Have been thinking about this for a while and would like some thoughts please... I have a good relationship with my parents. Very close but I wouldnt say we are emotionally close. My dad would work long hours as a police officer and my mum was left alone with not much but myself and my sister. As I got older a lot of my time was spent in my bedroom watching tv and not really connecting with much other than a few friends at school. As I got older I’d forged a bit of a relationship with my mother but nothing long lasting other than the usual pleasantries. I now have two boys who I love dearly. My husband very much takes the matriarch position when dealing with the boys. I try really hard but it’s just not as natural as him (he has a complicated family history and I think he tries to be what his mother wasn’t to him). As the boys have gotten older they’ve started to have interests in things I like which has made me think 1. We can forge a better connection and 2. Maybe this means I can be a better mother. As this is happening my husband seems to be be pushing me around bonding time etc in areas I’m just not that great at and when I make observations about his better connection with them he gets defensive. All I want is to be able to say in so many years time that I can still speak to my sons (and they want to speak to me) and I had a positive impact on them that means their childhood wasn’t all tv like me. Any observations would be great fully accepted.

OP posts:
Larryslockdownlunch · 20/03/2021 17:53

I don't think parent/child relationships are always easy. I've certainly had a strained relationship with my mother at times. I'm struggling to bond with my teenagers at the moment because all they want to do is stay in their rooms and watch tv/Netflix/TikTok or play online games. Even when I do drag them out they don't want to be there and are difficult to engage. I don't really know what to do to change it and I worry that like you we'll not have a relationship in the future. What would you have had your parents do differently?

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