AIBU to wish my parents would remember their grandchildren’s birthdays?

[CallistoInRuins]

Every year they forget at least one child’s birthday. Sometimes they broadly remember what month it is and will text to check the date. More often they’ve totally forgotten, cue last year last-minute scrambling on the family WhatsApp group when one of the aunts/uncles mentioned upcoming birthday. (“Is it?? ALREADY??? Okay okay tell him something’s in the post from us, is he 4 this year or 5?”)

This year I’ve called them a couple of weeks in advance to remind them when the birthday is and what age the grandchild is. This did work so will do it for the others but it felt a bit awkward honestly, like I was accusing them of forgetting before they even had (but they clearly had).

AIBU to think they could write it on a calendar or something?

For Christmas, give them one of those birthday calendars with everyone's name & year of birth on it. Present sorted, issue sorted.

Depends, how many grandkids to keep track of and how old are they ?

I would be very offended if someone rang me to ensure there was time for gifts to be sent. You could have simply text on the day to ask if they wanted to zoom etc to say happy birthday.

Depends, how many grandkids to keep track of and how old are they?

I agree. My DGF had 19 grandchildren of widely varying ages in 3 different countries. There is no way he would have remembered any of their birthdays, although if you announced it was your birthday that week he would shake your hand and give you a pound.

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

I would be very offended if someone rang me to ensure there was time for gifts to be sent. You could have simply text on the day to ask if they wanted to zoom etc to say happy birthday.

Depends, how many grandkids to keep track of and how old are they ?

Three, all under 10.

I would be very offended if someone rang me to ensure there was time for gifts to be sent.

Which is why I haven’t done it before, but now the kids are getting older it’s becoming more obvious on said birthday Zoom calls that the grandparents have just forgotten.

They forget my birthday too but I am less bothered about that!

You know they forget birthdays, so its not rude to remind them. I forget birthdays and am very grateful for reminders I dont think its rude at all.

We lived pretty far away from both sets of G-Parents growing up and I don't ever remember getting from them in terms of presents or contact around my birthday. Didn't affect me and they had loads of grandchildren each so prob hard to all keep track of.

Reading this though I do wonder if my parents minded or were hurt by it. I dunno. They are not big birthday people either

Just tell the children that not everyone remembers birthdays and that gifts are lovely to have but are not to be expected.

YABU. I never remember birthdays. Takes 2 secs to reply it's the 12th and she is 6 when they text. Birthdays don't take a great deal of importance in my head.

I'm with you OP not difficult at all to keep a note and I wouldn't be making excuses for them.

YABU.

My parents never remember either, and most of my friends parents are the same. Maybe it's an age thing?

I just casually mention my children's birthdays in general conversation. Example "oh its "Anns" birthday next Thursday so we are having a little tea party (or whatever)." This reminds them about the birthday without seeming grabby or like I'm expecting a present.