Sexual assault?

[pennygirl26]

My 11 year old stepson came yesterday telling us his 14 year old step brother from the other side has been holding him down stoking his legs and arms and using his fingers to try and poke his bum through his trousers. I'm absolutely furious as you can probably guess. He has said it happened previously and he spoke to his mum and step dad who told his step brother not to do it again. My stepson was crying so much last night he was sick. Am I right in saying this is still classed as sexual assault?

Well done for supporting your 11 yr old step son.
A 14 knows what he is doing and what it means - I’ve never known this as horsing around boys being boys - that is wrong approach and statement.
I also think the 14 will need support as this is sadly often a learnt behaviour so triggering a proper investigation will help both boys get access to the support needed.

OP, it’s absolutely astounding that so many adults are so casual about this in this situation. You are absolutely right to stand your ground. Please do not back down. Take unilateral action if you have to. An 11 year old is so vulnerable and the fact that he is distraught should be enough for all these so called adults to do something. Report to the police and social services. This child needs to be protected from the predator, and yes 14 year olds can be that. The older boy is in a position of power and abusing it. Absolutely disgusted that so many adults are taking this so lightly.

Honestly please don’t waste your time with ‘advice’ from NSPCC or anyone else. There is nothing to be advised on. The course of action is clear, report to the Police and child protection services.
It unbelievable that an 11 year old who is brave enough to speak up is being let down by his parents like this. The parents are totally neglectful and OP is the only one here who can do anything to protect the child.

So speaking more with my husband he's just having a bit of a break with this. He's extremely upset and isn't doing well handling the situation. There has now been a phone call to the police and someone will be coming out to visit to take more information and the next steps. We have also spoken to step sons mother who's aware we have contacted police .

@sst1234

Honestly please don’t waste your time with ‘advice’ from NSPCC or anyone else. There is nothing to be advised on. The course of action is clear, report to the Police and child protection services. It unbelievable that an 11 year old who is brave enough to speak up is being let down by his parents like this. The parents are totally neglectful and OP is the only one here who can do anything to protect the child.

The advice is so the OPs husband has an outside POV from people who do deal with this professionally as he doesn't seem to see how serious this is and as I said, is minimising it. I think it would be best to get the DH on board going forward for the sake of DSS own mental health.

I thought reporting it to the relevant bodies (police, SS) had already been said by many so didn't think repeating that would add anything for the OP. I added the bit about school as I work in one and know the school could put in support and liaise with SS/police.

Sorry if I was unclear.

@pennygirl26

So speaking more with my husband he's just having a bit of a break with this. He's extremely upset and isn't doing well handling the situation. There has now been a phone call to the police and someone will be coming out to visit to take more information and the next steps. We have also spoken to step sons mother who's aware we have contacted police .

Glad he is finally on board now OP. Hope you all get the support you need going forward and hope your DSS will be OK.