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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it unreasonable to resign rather than fail probation?

40 replies

UndergroundLondon · 20/03/2021 06:48

AIBU to ask if it’s better to resign than fail probation? After an extended probation period due to COVID I have been told that I am likely to fail, the meeting is next week. I have a poor relationship with my manager who is not offering support, just criticism. I’ve been having counselling sessions due to the suicide of a family member and this has triggered depression and anxiety that I have struggled with for many years, the thought of failing probation is amplifying my mental health issues.

Should I resign? Will it look better to potential employees? I see no road back to a good working relationship with my manager even if I don’t fail. She has been very clear that I don’t have the evidence to pass. Work won’t be easy for me to find in my field but I’m happy to look for other roles in the meantime. Money would be tight but we have enough for 5 months.

OP posts:
Unexpectedbaby · 20/03/2021 07:09

I am not sure on the process of references following failed probation, however it's quite uncommon to fail so I don't think it would look great.

We recently had someone who was going to fail probation within our team. Management had the conversation with her and allowed her to work notice and effectively resign rather than be dismissed, in fact that encouraged it as the preferable route.

I would say, if you are terribly unhappy there and you don't see a health working relationship in the future regardless, then you should consider resigning if you are able to anyway.

JellyBumNBellyHun · 20/03/2021 07:11

Over the years I've seen so many people resign rather than be sacked. They always seem to move on no problem.

KingdomScrolls · 20/03/2021 07:12

You shouldn't only be finishing out a week before your probation period ends that you're likely to fail. What happened at your previous review, what have the targets and support laid out in your performance improvement plan been? Have you had more regular supervision/extra training etc? Are you a union member?

KingdomScrolls · 20/03/2021 07:13

*finding

DifficultBloodyWoman · 20/03/2021 07:14

No, it is not unreasonable. In fact, career wise, it makes sense to go before failing probation. However, are you sure you are going to fail?

Capital76 · 20/03/2021 07:16

At the previous company i worked for we would do alot of coaching and development with people to get them to an expected standard- it would be very clear from month 2/3 if you were not on track have you been getting that support

My current company dont have probation periods....but basically have the stance if you have worked there less than 2 years we can let you go no problem Sad bit shit really and ive only worked there less than 1 year....

Capital76 · 20/03/2021 07:18

Sorry never answered the questionBlush

Its likely they only give tombstone references and if i was you inwould definitely be looking for another job and resign as soon as i could...the fact the manager is poor being one of the reasons

Usagi12 · 20/03/2021 07:18

O wouldn't resign if I were you, it doesn't really help you. Most company references don't list your reason for leaving a role, just length of service and job title). Most probation periods are the same length so a new company would be able to tell from the dates that you probably didn't pass probation. Go through with the meeting, it's an extra week or two of pay even if you do lose your job.

EspressoExpresso · 20/03/2021 07:21

I wouldn't resign as I believe if you voluntarily leave your job it affects being able to apply for benefits for a period of time? Not sure how relevant that is to your situation but worth considering.

Aprilx · 20/03/2021 07:22

I don’t think it will make any difference to future employers, they are unlikely to find out your reason for leaving. Probation in employment has no meaning in law and no need for you to even mention it.

Having said that, I think it may be worth resigning for your own self esteem, it sounds like you are struggling and this may put you back in control, rather than sitting and waiting for something to happen to you.

Sleepingdogs12 · 20/03/2021 07:25

Isn't there anyone else you can talk to if it is this combination of factors that are causing you to under perform. Can the probation period be extended with a new manager given the impact of Covid etc
Otherwise I would resign and work notice .

EdithWeston · 20/03/2021 07:41

Most probation periods are the same length so a new company would be able to tell from the dates that you probably didn't pass probation

Doesn't apply in this case - OP's probation has been extended because of covid so dates won't be standard.

If manager is being clear about lack of evidence to confirm probation, then it does sound as if what was needed was laid out. Even though underperformance should be tackled as it arises, we don't know enough about what has happened here to say that it hasn't been (or about details such as if the probationary period was properly extended)

But once a company has decided they want you gone, then you can make it more difficult/expensive to get rid of you. That might be wrong in many ways, but you're not going to repair the working environment, and OP sounds stressed enough already, and ready to move on. The question is how.

And that's likely to be sector dependant. Is it going to be hard to find another job becuase you live in the arse end of beyond, or because it is specialised? Where did you work before starting this role and is your CV in good shape aside from this?

DoTheNextRightThing · 20/03/2021 07:44

I failed my probation too OP. Kind of wish I had jumped ship before I was pushed so I could leave with the upper hand. But I was determined to prove myself which obviously didn't work out.

In any case, I don't tell prospective employers that I failed my probation, and I my former line manager wouldn't tell them that.

It's really up to you.

letsgoandtango · 20/03/2021 07:50

I would resign, yes. Your reference won't mention it either way but future employers will definitely ask, and you want to honestly be able to say that you made the decision to leave because the role wasn't right for you.

Jumping quickly because it's not right for you can even work in your favour, makes you look decisive. I have even seen it with fairly senior people on LinkedIn, with a short role that just says "the one that didn't work out!"

Throwaway999 · 20/03/2021 08:01

Are you in England and planning to claim unemployment benefits? If so, resigning may affect your eligibility to claim these for a set period.

Original poster
UndergroundLondon · 20/03/2021 08:38

Thank you all so much for replying. I’ve been there 14 months and the issues with my manager began in Summer.

The problems with my performance were then raised but the mention of not passing probation did not occur until January. At this point, though I have tried it seems that all I have done is still not enough evidence for my manager. I suspect a better working relationship would have fostered more support to meet these targets but that ship has sailed. It’s local authority and so they have now significant departmental savings to make which I believe makes me even more vulnerable.

My mental health has meant I have not performed as I would have liked, poor memory, a foggy period whilst antidepressants sank in. I do believe I am getting better but I don’t think my manager and I will ever recover a decent working relationship.

I know I can’t claim anything for a few months and we have some savings. I’m more worried about how a fail would look on my CV and what my references will look like.

OP posts:
2021ishere2021 · 20/03/2021 09:33

14 months is too long for a probation surely, using it usually 11 months max? That said I am not in England do it might be different.

Have you been signed off by a doctor? It is not that easy to let someone go who has suffered depression?

Tbh I would talk frankly to hr. they don't generally want to shaft people so they might give you the documentation to get benefits straight away without everyone having to go through the capability process.

2021ishere2021 · 20/03/2021 09:37

Also I wouldn't worry about references, over a year in a job is ok unless you have 10/15 years experience and have never lasted more than 2 years in a job.

It would be great if he would agree to pay you in lieu of notice. You might be able to find another job before you are down money. Not sure about England but Payment in lieu of notice does not delay you getting unemployment benefit, so you might actually end up with more money.

Original poster
UndergroundLondon · 20/03/2021 11:42

Thank you all. It would be a 6 month period but it was extended because COVID meant that not much work was happening and so it could not be evidenced. My contract states that probation can be extended in extenuating circumstances. I’m contacting the doctors now, I’m not sure I can make a rational decision and wondering if getting signed off sick may be helpful to do that.

OP posts:
Confusedmeanderings · 20/03/2021 18:04

Are you in a union? They may be able to arrange a negotiated settlement for you. Basically that means that you agree to go quietly, making it easy for the company, and the company agree to your terms, in your case a usable reference.

GintyMcGinty · 20/03/2021 18:13

References must be factual and you should be truthful on applications.

If you resign it allows you on applications to say you resigned because (insert whatever you like). And on references they need to give your reason for leaving as resignation.

If you are dismissed you really should declare that on applications and they can certainly state it in references.

So its better to resign.

Icenii · 20/03/2021 18:18

There really isn't any reason why you would need to say you were dismissed when apply for other jobs.

References these days are the dates you worked for an organisation.

Swschool · 20/03/2021 18:29

Check what the company reference will say. Perfectly reasonable to ask HR whether or not it includes reason for leaving. Most wont.

If you think you may need to rely on any unemployment benefit, resigning may affevt this.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 20/03/2021 18:47

I know I can’t claim anything for a few months and we have some savings. I’m more worried about how a fail would look on my CV and what my references will look like.

Honestly, most references are meaningless these days. From big companies you will almost always get ‘I can confirm person X worked in role Y from date 1 to date 2’. It’s the same whether you failed probation or made the company millions.

Don’t think about resigning just so you can ‘hold your head high’ or ‘take control’. It makes zero difference for you and saves the employer a lot of hassle. A lot of companies try the ‘We’ll allow you to resign’ technique - of course they will! It saves time and energy on disciplinary proceedings.

PandaFluff · 20/03/2021 19:09

I'd check if you're allowed to claim benefit if you quit. Just in case you can't find something else quickly.