Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my phone reads my mind

53 replies

Thejoyfulstar · 20/03/2021 06:33

Now I am not actually suggesting that my phone is reading my mind (I don't think!), but I would like some kind of explanation as to what has been happening.

I understand that if I search for something on the internet, or even have an online conversation, certain ads and videos will pop up on my social media relating to that. Ok, I understand that.

I also understand if a video suggestion comes up on my youtube for a random artist that was on the tv a short while ago. I can maybe see how my phone knows that.

I do also understand how I can be searching for something, or discussing something else online, and then have a private thought based on that previous search/conversations, not share it with anyone, and things pertaining to that private thought pop up. I get it, the technology is very clever in understanding our probable interests and ideas based on previous trends.

My husband said that the technology has so much information and software to analyse this information, that a lot of these ads are just expertly targeted at the perfect audience, and that they can almost predict your next interest based on what they already know. That made sense.

What I don't understand is how I can be out somewhere, with my phone in my bag, look at something, just physically look with my eyes, and later have something related to the thing I saw come up.

I don't mean I checked into a Coldplay concert, looked at Chris Martin on stage and got things related to him come up on my feed. I mean I look at random things that are unrelated to my location, and my phone seems to know?

This has happened to me a few times, and I rationally put it down to coincidence or some kind of plausible reason.

Two days ago I was carrying my shopping home from a nearby supermarket and as I was walking, I noticed someone with distinctive facial features. I just glanced at the person and looked away, as I do with every person I happen to glance at while walking past. I did however fleetingly think about them, and wonder if they had a condition causing the distinctive nature of their features. It was a brief thought. I went home, went to bed, and the next morning was scrolling through youtube and there was a video of a man who looked very similar to the person I had seen the previous day. It said ' What it's like living with X syndrome'.

I immediately felt creeped out and thought that this wasnt the first time something came up on my social media based on a look and a thought.

Has this happened to you? What is the explanation? There must be one?

FWIW, I dont have an active social media life. I have an account for facebook and Instagram but never use them. I use youtube and mostly understand their algorithms but this has left me very curious.

Any ideas?

OP posts:
GreenLeafTurnip · 20/03/2021 06:38

Do you not think this used to happen before technology as well though?

Sometimes I would see something completely random that for example I hadn't seen in years and then later in the day someone would mention that thing to me who wasn't connected to it at all.

I think it's just coincidence when you are seeing something and not vocalising it or searching for it and then it pops up.

However, our phones do listen. Even though I've turned off all options to do so I still get targeted ads for things I haven't searched for but have spoken about.

Henrysmycat · 20/03/2021 06:59

The man you saw could be a coincidence. You might think condition X came to your mind when you saw him but how about already have seen something similar and subconsciously connected these two. So many things we see, that we subconsciously register but our conscious mind is none the wiser?
Btw, My DH used to work for such technologies. They track pretty much everything you do online.
And tracking your movements was a tiny pixel implanted in the website your using. Unless, you have your phone completely switched-off, with all these “allow X to do Y” buttons, they know you.
Also, your SM tracks you too. Nothing new. Some website/apps can “hear” you when you speak. The other day, with my SM open, I was talking about finding a company that transports your belongings from the UK to a specific kind of “obscure” country by sea.
1 min late, an automated company message popped in my messenger offering me the exact same services. Coincidence that sone was offering to transport a package from the UK to Azerbaijan mostly by sea?

cretelover · 20/03/2021 07:06

I've had instances like the PP where I've been talking about something obscure and something related has popped up. The one which freaked me out the most was I was driving briefly behind a trade van of some description, think it was a gardening company, I was alone so definitely didn't say anything out loud, next day an ad for the exact same company appeared. I was driving behind it for all of 20 seconds.

sleepyhead1980 · 20/03/2021 07:08

This has happened to me a few times too.. what's going on?!?! 😂

Justcallmebebes · 20/03/2021 07:21

I was walking through city centre last week and an electrical shop has closed and reopened as a high end bike shop. I didn't stop but thought as i passed how I'd really like one of the bikes displayed.
Went on internet short time later and bike ads pop up. Really weird as not had anything like these pop ups before

niceupthedance · 20/03/2021 07:49

Yes I have noticed it in the past, well creepy

DobbyTheHouseElk · 20/03/2021 07:52

Yes, I’ve noticed this. It’s creepy.

DurhamDurham · 20/03/2021 08:00

I was setting up our granddaughter's Sylvanian Family set for when she got home from nursery. I was home alone and definitely didn't say anything out loud about it. I then made a cuppa and went on FB on my phone; there were adverts for Sylvanian Family stuff and it was the same stuff that I'd been setting up.
I've many more examples but this one freaked me out the most Grin

sunflowersandbuttercups · 20/03/2021 08:04

But how many thousands of things do you see each day that don't crop up on social media afterwards?

It's just coincidence and it stands out because the mans appearance stood out to you, and so you remembered him when you saw the advert.

ElizaLaLa · 20/03/2021 08:45

I don't think its coincidence. This definitely happens. Somehow.

DelurkingAJ · 20/03/2021 08:48

You notice it when it happens, that’s all. Combine that with targeted ads and clever software...

Say that I see endless Minecraft ads, I presume because I have a son of the ‘right’ age. But he doesn’t like Minecraft so I can spot it’s just bad targeting.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 20/03/2021 08:50

It is creepy. Last night I booked tickets for a musical in London on my iPad; ever since DH has had adverts popping up on his phone all about theatre shows..

Animum2 · 20/03/2021 08:52

Maybe it's a location thing on your phone, something triggers it and next thing you know, ads galore

I've definitely walked past places briefly stopped then the same thing appears not long after on my phone

slashlover · 20/03/2021 08:52

It could just be that you're noticing things more because you're already thinking about them. I've you've been thinking about buying a blue car then you seem to see a lot more blue cars. If you think you could be pregnant then every advert seems to be about nappies and babies etc.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 20/03/2021 08:53

@ThroughThickAndThin01

It is creepy. Last night I booked tickets for a musical in London on my iPad; ever since DH has had adverts popping up on his phone all about theatre shows..
That's normal though. It's how cookies and advertising work.
AntiHop · 20/03/2021 08:53

Confirmation bias

YouHaveAuthorityJackieWeaver · 20/03/2021 08:57

I'm just sad that my FB ads now seem to be funeral plans whereas last year I was being spammed with period pants! 😞

Cornettoninja · 20/03/2021 08:57

It is weird and will be a mixture of things, some targeted advertising using the methods we’re aware of and some coincidence.

I came across an interesting article in an IT magazine (it was while I was waiting somewhere so a proper paper copy that I unfortunately don’t have a link for) that talked about developments working on tracking peoples eye movements for the purpose of developing adverts that people pay attention to. I don’t think it’s beyond the realms of possibility that some of the adverts you notice pop up despite never searching/talking about them could be the result of an algorithm that uses that kind of technology.

It’s equally fascinating and terrifying how easy it is to write an algorithm that so accurately predicts human nature.

MariLwyd · 20/03/2021 09:02

I think it’s more that you only specifically noticed the video because you’d seen that person. I get all kinds of nonsense on my recommended videos that aren’t related to anything I’ve watched or seen but there’s always a chance that I’d see something during the day that could be related to one of those random videos.

A while ago I was reading a book out loud to my son and part of one of the main characters names was very similar to a brand name, I kept getting adverts for that brand afterwards which I thought was quite funny.

standingonaseesaw · 20/03/2021 09:08

I agree OP. I spotted something in our little corner shop that caught my eye, as it was quite unusual, and out of season. I was on my own so definitely didn’t say anything about it (I’m not one to talk to myself). When I got home Facebook popped up an Amazon advert of that exact thing. I’m still freaked out by it.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 20/03/2021 09:10

sunflowers but how on a completely different device with a completely different number on a different network?

EileenGC · 20/03/2021 09:12

It’s normal and yes, a bit creepy.

A few weeks ago I commented on a thread here about period pants. Lo and behold, my Facebook ads have all been for Modipants (or whatever they’re called) ever since. I mentioned in my post that I disliked them, so FB didn’t even bother figuring out that this advert isn’t the most useful way of getting me to buy something.

Th either day I bought lemons with my grocery shop. I almost never buy lemons. The minute I get home and go online, I see an ad for a supermarket which has lemons on offer. Not even the one I went to. Bizarre stuff. I think it’s very likely that these things happen all the time but we only notice them sometimes and are surprised by them.

Cornettoninja · 20/03/2021 09:17

@ThroughThickAndThin01

sunflowers but how on a completely different device with a completely different number on a different network?
I’m no expert but I would presume that your linked to your DH in a fairly obvious way through data and social media (like how FB suggests people you might know). I don’t think it’s a large leap for an algorithm to identify that you live with him and are likely partners.
schnubbins · 20/03/2021 09:17

I have noticed this also particularly in the last few months.One recent one is that I had been messaging with my friends son who lives in Japan .Afterwards had a chat with my husband about it and my husband said ' is he going to send you a kimono' .I laughed opened up my facebook page and lo and behold an advertisement for kimonos.!

AllisoninWunderland · 20/03/2021 09:24

One thing you can do is have your microphone permanently switched off (only switching it back on to use Zoom or WhatsApp etc) then switching it off again.
On an iPhone it’s under settings/privacy/microphone.

It prevents companies literally listening to you.

Swipe left for the next trending thread