To collect child from school fornnext couple of weeks?

[Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady]

Child in Y5.

For the last couple of months (in terms of actually being in school) my child has been walking part of the way home himself, and I have been meeting him at a certain point to then walk the rest of the way.

The idea being that once he's at the end of year 6 he will be walking all the way home by himself. This would better prepare him for secondary school when he will have to be more independant.

Tonight it's come to light that a man attempted to abduct a child from a nearby primary school when they were walking home. Police are involved.

I've decided thatbfoe the next couple of weeks at least I will go back to collecting him from the playground, or at least within sight of the school gates.

YABU - carry on as you are
YANBU - collect from playground

I would in these circumstances, yes.

Is child street wise? Is he aware of stranger danger? Are they walking alone or with friends? There have an always will be these situations and its why we need to make sure our children know what todo if ever it happened to them. I would collect untill year 6 (I did with ds) then first half of year 6 do the meet at half way point then last half of year let him walk home.

Couldn’t agree more @JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows

@Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady

To give context. I have fairly serious anxiety. So whilst I think I am doing the right thing, I am also aware that my own issues have the capacity to impact the way I react the things.

I completely understand this and have to check decisions I made too. It's worse when people suggest I go with my gut instinct. My Gut instinct always says no

Well temporarily maybe, just in case it was a stranger abduction. But statistically it's likely to have been the child's own father, and I doubt he'd be interested in your son.

Would check with the police whether they think recent incidents mean their is an increased threat to children in the area. It may be that police were involved and found out it wasn’t actually an attempted abduction, or that it was an attempted abduction but the police have arrested the suspect, or that it was an attempted abduction but other children are not at risk (because most abductions are by people known to the victim, not some random stranger taking random children off the street). If the police think there is an increased risk then yes, accompany him for a few weeks. If not, don’t. Let him continue to build up his confidence and independence - both skills that, ultimately, will help him be less at risk in a lot of different situations.

It was a stranger. The mum has confirmed that on Facebook

I think what would be worrying for me, is how do I decide it's safe again, why is the risk only temporary? I have a tendency to overthink these things so completely understand OP. Sometimes it's hard to know whether you are being normally protective or your child, or projecting your anxiety on to them.

I think lightening would be unlikely to strike twice in the same area and the would be abductor would probably move to another town or area if they planned to try again.

But having said that I absolutely would be collecting my child for the foreseeable and I have no idea how I would decide when the risk had passed. Perhaps in a few weeks a few of them could walk together but for now definitely collect.

I always had anxiety about my kids being out alone. DS also started to come home, taking the local bus on his own in Y5. He was absolutely fine with it, very mature and responsible but I was in fear every day until he rang me. Then came the day that poor little girl was kidnap and killed in Wales and my mind went overboard.

The way I dealt with it was by telling my kids that I suffered from anxiety, that it wasn't reflective of the actual danger, that they were fine, but because of my fears which were very unpleasant and hard to control, I needed them to be exceptionally good at contacting me and responding when called.

There were still time when they didn't and I went into complete panic mode but all in all they were very good. It taught them to be cautious but without developing anxiety of their own.

I think there's one in West Yorkshire. Was in briefing, possibly Wakefield. Yes, stranger. Still looking for them as far as I know. I wouldn't be letting mine walk home.

I think its sensible to sense check sometimes even when there is no anxiety involved. Goodness knows some posts on MN can be ridiculous for being so set on being right no matter what anyone says so please don't beat yourself up for checking because apparently some pp have to define themselves as relevant by putting others down.

I would do the same and pick up for the next few weeks. As another pp said the more adult eyes out and about the better. If nothing else the rise in parents picking up should scare an opportunist off.

Perhaps set a limit on it so you are not tempted to keep it going and lose the progress you made

Most schools around us don't allow below year 6 to walk home alone. I'd pick chilf up and start the preperation for walking alone once actually in year 6 (maybe around this time next year with weather perking up again).

I would meet him outside the school rather than picking him up from the playground. End of the drive, over the road type of thing and reevaluate after Easter.

@Lizadork

Most schools around us don't allow below year 6 to walk home alone. I'd pick chilf up and start the preperation for walking alone once actually in year 6 (maybe around this time next year with weather perking up again).

There's this, yes. I'm actually surprised that a Year 5 child has been doing it for months.

YANBU

Dd walked home from the beginning of yr 5 and I would meet her from the main rd. She always walked with a group with friends.
Shes always had a lot of independence from an early age and I'm not a worrier but yes, in this case, I would be collecting for a few weeks.

YANBU OP. DS started getting himself home from sports matches when he was in Y5, fir the same reason. To slowly build himself up to getting to/from secondary school. It worked really well. But in the circumstances you describe I would also be collecting him myself for a few weeks or until I knew the man had been caught.

*Most schools around us don't allow below year 6 to walk home alone. I'd pick chilf up and start the preperation for walking alone once actually in year 6 (maybe around this time next year with weather perking up again).

There's this, yes. I'm actually surprised that a Year 5 child has been doing it for months.*

At his school parents have to collect from playground up to year 4. From then on there is no requirement.

He hasn't been walking all the way home by himself. He walks probably 400 yards alone and I meet him to walk the rest of the way home. No roads to cross

I started walking all the way home including crossing roads at the end of year 4. Suppose it was a different time.

He has to have some independence at some point. I was nervous but overall happy about the plan we had to gradually increase the distance he walks alone. This has thrown me a bit.

Anyway I've had a chat with him and explained and hea happy for me to meet him just outside school for the next couple of weeks and then we will see how it goes

Different places, different times.
Our primary would only release kids by themselves in Year 6 with signed permission from the parents.

@Raaaaaaarr

Completely pick him up. There's no way I would leave him to walk alone.

That.

Plenty of time for your son to be independent. Don't take any risks.

I think you're being very sensible.

I don't understand how the risk of abduction will have changed after two weeks of picking him up. Why will you feel less anxious after two weeks? What will have changed?

I have anxiety and I wonder if I am overreacting all of the time - for example my partner lets me know when he gets to work (he sets off at 5am for a 90min commute and I’m terrified he will fall asleep) if he gets stuck in traffic or forgets to message, I get the urge to ring his work and check, I always check now with a close friend and she rationalises the risks and what the reasons could be and makes more reasonable suggestions like emailing him so that I can get a response rather than being worked up.

I think it is fair that you have asked here because I’m the same and have no judgement of if I am being over the top even though it seems obvious to others - Although when I have kids I will probably still be dropping them off/picking them up at 48 because of my anxiety.

@Thisgirlcando

I have anxiety and I wonder if I am overreacting all of the time - for example my partner lets me know when he gets to work (he sets off at 5am for a 90min commute and I’m terrified he will fall asleep) if he gets stuck in traffic or forgets to message, I get the urge to ring his work and check, I always check now with a close friend and she rationalises the risks and what the reasons could be and makes more reasonable suggestions like emailing him so that I can get a response rather than being worked up.

I think it is fair that you have asked here because I’m the same and have no judgement of if I am being over the top even though it seems obvious to others - Although when I have kids I will probably still be dropping them off/picking them up at 48 because of my anxiety.

On balance, it's probably better to over react than under react. Within reason, of course.