Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features


To ask if you’d speak out on a public media platform where people know you?

3 replies

TrialOfStyle · 19/03/2021 23:18

I’ve been struggling back and forth for years about so many different things that have happened in virtue of me being a woman. And I’ve often considered putting a post on Facebook but I only have around 200 hundred friends and many of those I’m speaking out about could be perpetrator, complicit or deniers about what happened. I want to be brave and raise awareness but I’m so scared about the outcome so I don’t know what to do.

The situations I’m talking about are thinking like going back to someone’s house when I was 16 with someone ten years my senior but he performing a sex act on me I didn’t consent to but was too ashamed to talk about to my friends.

Having derogatory songs and jokes written about me from ‘the lads’ and my friends all laughing along. Even a whole web forum where people could join in the fun, with even someone (I know) suggesting I should die.

Abuse (including physical) when some guy slept with me because I should have known he was as getting back with his ex.

All at 16. There’s been more examples since. I want to say something because I think I shouldn’t be ashamed and I should make people (mainly men) be accountable for their actions, but I’m scared for the position it will be put me in afterwards (at best, ignored, at worst - well who knows).

What do you think? Would you raise it?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

Plumedenom · 19/03/2021 23:22

I wouldn't expose myself in this way on social media, because I don't ever expose myself on social media. My perspective is you don't owe anyone this. Do stuff in the real world. Talk to your kids about it. Your friends. Putting it out there to me is like self harm honestly.


imalmostthere · 19/03/2021 23:22

I'm in the exact same boat op, and desperate to speak up. I worry it will look as though I'm attention seeking. Interested to hear others thoughts. And a hug to you op Thanks


TrialOfStyle · 19/03/2021 23:58

I don’t think anything can really change until a large group of people start speaking out, and to that you need to make yourself public. But it’s terrifying because that thought of it all backfiring it always there.

And yes @imalmostthere - I think the worry is it will come across as attention seeking (especially as I wasn’t particularly popular with this group) but I also don’t want to hide in the dark about it anymore.

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?