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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Preschooler wee accident in shop

49 replies

Adskps · 19/03/2021 18:44

My 4 year old had an accident whilst doing the food shop, I didn't have any spare clothes as he hasn't had a single accident in over a year and we were on the way home from nursery, so I went to the children's clothes section and bought him some clean clothes so I could then take him to the toilets and change him, but a fair few people seemed to look horrified at him/me and now I'm worried I've done the wrong thing and should have just left the shop and gone home to change him?? I feel really embarrassed now.i tend to get basic things wrong but I'm not sure what else would have been a better option...
It's felt like the most logical thing to do because he was soaked

OP posts:

Original poster

Adskps · 19/03/2021 19:18

My other child has sen and people have outright said a fair few rude comments to us regarding my parenting when out in shops etc so I think I have just ended up a bit paranoid of judgement!
But in this instance I think I was just being overly anxious seeing as others have said they'd have done the same

OP posts:

greeneyedlulu · 19/03/2021 19:21

You did nothing wrong, kids wet themselves, it happens, don't worry about it

Spudbyanyothername · 19/03/2021 19:22

Not unusual for a 4 year old and either of the 2 plans reasonable. I have done the same before, memorably once on a ferry - had to buy some tourist souvenir clothes (couldn’t get change of clothes from car).

bluebluezoo · 19/03/2021 19:23

Probably wasn’t horror, but sympathy!

My dd did this. Only dh was looking after her, so she got a top to toe new outfit from Monsoon!

(Dh has much better taste in clothes than me!)

andyindurham · 19/03/2021 19:24

I've been there, done that (although in a museum, not a shop, which made acquiring a change of clothes that little bit more of a pain). Prior to having kids, I might have been a bit surprised to see it - but my opinion on parenting at that stage would not have been hugely valuable or relevant. Having had kids, I'd be thinking 'there but for the grace of God ...'. Every parent has been there.

crosspelican · 19/03/2021 19:24

Lucky you being in a shop with clothes! When it happened with us I had one child in the pram and the other (about 3?) weed COPIOUSLY on the floor at the till in Sainsburys. She was in tights so nothing to soak it up and in horror I grabbed a soft toy out of the pram (nothing else sprang to mind!) and went to mop it up and the lady behind the till LEAPT out with a roll of paper and wouldn't even let me mop it up myself.

I'm sure nobody was actually looking at you, OP. Who would even notice that his trousers were wet anyway? Kids are always wet/mucky. It could just as easily have been water or a drink anyway. I wouldn't leap to "wee!" if I saw a wet child.

1forAll74 · 19/03/2021 19:27

Stop worrying about this now, you did the right thing for your son. Little accidents happen as such , with small children.

cakewench · 19/03/2021 19:30

They might have just been reacting to whatever your reaction to it was? Because I'm not sure I'd even notice a child who had wet himself unless mum was flapping about it

It's also just possible no one really noticed and you're a bit self conscious about it?

user1493413286 · 19/03/2021 19:41

Sounds like the sensible thing to do!

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 19/03/2021 19:41

Ah. I see. Well I think it really is best then just to try and forget all about it. He’s still so little. Try to have a relaxing evening.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 19/03/2021 19:43

One thing you should always remember that random people give much less fuck about you than you think.
Like in a club "oh, I can't dance. I will embarrass myself in front of all these people"
"Tell me all instances of bad dancing in a club you remember"
"Errrm"

People do not give as many fucks as we think. Most give 0

GrolliffetheDragon · 19/03/2021 19:47

I worked in a shop with a children's wear section, this happened reasonably regularly. Perfectly normal to buy a new set of clothes.

Tessabelle1 · 19/03/2021 19:52

Most parents have had to do this! YANBU, you were being a good Mum, don't worry about it anymore

MessAllOver · 19/03/2021 20:13

My 3yo DS had a huge - and I mean blood everywhere, it looked like a crime scene! - nosebleed in the supermarket a few weeks ago when we popped in to collect a prescription. I'd told him to hold my hand because the floor was slippery, he had deliberately ignored me and run off, and entirely predictably, he slipped and face-planted on the hard floor. It was so bad I was tempted to hide around the corner and pretend he wasn't my child . But of course he was upset and so ran to me to hug me tightly and dripped blood all the way through my hair and down the front of my cream top. We had a lot of (justifiably) horrified looks from other shoppers, but the staff were lovely. I was trying to clean up the carnage with my cardigan and a spare pair of DS's socks which was all I could find in my bag, but they got someone to clean it and their lovely first aider helped me stop the bleeding. We both had to walk home covered in blood though. I guess these things happen, but you have my sympathy because it's pretty awful at the time when you're the one who has to sort it out.

FaceyRomford · 19/03/2021 20:13

Perfectly sensible solution. Your DC got some new clothes and the shop made a sale. Everyone's a winner.

Givemeabreak88 · 19/03/2021 20:15

Tbf people are more likely to be looking horrified over blood as a lot of people are squeamish about blood, my son gets terrible nose bleeds as well and it certainly does look like a horror scene

Bluecomfort · 19/03/2021 20:18

How small was the shop that the same people witnessed him having an accident, you shopping for and purchasing new clothes, then bringing him into the toilets to get changed, all whilst giving you looks of horror?

Original poster

Adskps · 19/03/2021 20:54

They didn't? They would have just seen me walking around a shop with a child covered in pee!

OP posts:

londonrach · 19/03/2021 21:01

Op..you did the right thing in this situation. Honestly no one judge you, if any looks it be ive been there and thet mum is amazing. Accidents happen at this age. Xx

MargaretThursday · 19/03/2021 21:06

Not quite the same but I remember when ds was about 18 months. It was in December and we'd nipped into the out of town shops to pick up something I'd ordered. Going to be literally 10 minutes in and out. As we nearly got back to the car, ds managed to unscrew his water and liberally soaked himself. I was about to pop him in the car-we're 15 minutes max from home, the car was already warm and I could stick the heating on. He wasn't bothered by being wet.
I didn't. I went back in, bought some dry clothes and changed him. Not sure why, very rarely bought new clothes, so it wasn't something I normally did.

About 5 minutes down the road the suspension went on the car with a wonderous clattering of metal all over the road. Now we were only waiting 20 minutes for the very nice man to come and pick the car up, but it wasn't wise to stay in the car (fast road and no layby) and it would have been a very cold time for ds.
I was very glad that I'd done that.

And he thought going in the pick up truck was the best fun he'd ever had too.

Sceptre86 · 19/03/2021 21:06

You did exactly what I would have done. Why leave your child uncomfortable in wet clothes especially of you had a walk or drive home. Who cares what other people think let them stare away. Dont second guess yourself!

MrsBobDylan · 20/03/2021 07:45

I mean this kindly but they will not have been horrified.

I have a disabled child and we always draw lots of looks (some not nice admittedly). I was once feeling very stressed because a woman kept looking over at us from her table in a cafe.

When she came over,I was ready for a judgemental exchange but she said "I just wanted to say how lovely your children are".

I didn't expect that and bless her, she taught me not to put my fears first.

PorcelainCatStack · 20/03/2021 07:48

@Adskps I actually think that was pretty clever of you. I’d have probably panicked and abandoned the shop which wasn’t necessary. You came up with a clever solution under pressure. Well done, that’s a great mum skill.

womaninatightspot · 20/03/2021 07:59

I'd notice but be thinking poor kid, nothing but sympathy. At some point it'll probably happen to all of us. You behaved in the right way. I'd probably feel embarrassed/ worried people were looking too. TBH I'm sure they weren't or had nothing but sympathy.

It reminds me of a time I had to go to the local hospital with my eldest who was a baby. Stopped at the canteen to bf/ have a coffee and he had a massive poonami from shoulders to ankles his baby grow was full of it and it was seeping through. I asked a staff member where the baby change was and she literally leapt back from me with horror. I think she was worried I'd ask for help!

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