To hate doing a renovation?

[Anothernameanothertime]

The house is in pretty desperate need of it. An aged window spontaneously cracked the other day . The electrics are 70s vintage and dangerous. We’ve borrowed and can (pretty much) afford it. I’ve started speaking to builders etc and already hate it. There are so many decisions to make. I know I’m going to regret loads of them. (Either because we went for something and it was a giant waste of cash or we didn’t choose something and it would have been a good idea.)

Who are all these zillions of people with renovation blogs/the energy to deal with a massive building site (DH and I both work, 2DC).

AIBU to hate it?

I hate having anyone in doing work on my house. The main reason is that to the tradesmen your house is just another building site, and they treat it as such. YANBU

@FangsForTheMemory thanks. We knew house ownership would involve regular maintenance and some improvements but I still find it all stressful and baffling.

I can’t understand how anyone could love it to be honest! We are just finishing the last bits in our house before it goes on the market (we were very naive first time buyers and didn’t realise how much work was needed!) and I’ve hated every second, the worst but by far for me was unreliable tradesmen who will think nothing of pushing back your job by a week with no concern for what else might need rearranging around them!

I loathe it with a passion, especially when DH thinks he’ll have a bash at it 😫 I just want to move into somewhere that’s perfect next time!

I can imagine it being quite fun if you were a SAHM/D with DC at school but not if you had to fit in with work and/or babies.

I am in the same boat and it is horrific. I admit the moment of weakness in which I agreed to it.

Regret! Damn autocorrect

Ugh I wish I hadn't read this. We're looking at buying the house we currently rent and extending it and I'm already dreading the work being done.

I disagree @Camomila. There is no escape if you don't go to work.
The only way, IMHO, it could come remotely close to "fun" is if you could afford to live somewhere else in comfort while it's all happening..........NOT with in-laws.
Personally, I can just about cope with the window cleaner and that's my limit regarding workmen.

I think renovating is probably a bit like childbirth. Awful at the time, but worth it once it's done.

Some love it, some hate it. I'm on renovation no. 4. as a single mum and it is tiring.

Try to get one room done that you can relax in. Then renovate the basics, heat, power, plumbing, weatherproofing, security, Then work through the rooms in order of priority.

And be ruthless with tradespeople. If they don't show up, don't use them again. and be honest about it.

We have just renovated an 1850’s build, 5 bedroom, 4 baths house from top to bottom. We’ve had every sort of work done. My DH loves it and is so motivated to get everything done. We did the whole lot in two months ready to move in. Every room was skimmed, walls out, rooms reconfigured, roof repair, electrical works, plumbing works, new windows, every room painted, floors sanded. I don’t think there’s a square inch of the house not touched. DH is becoming a seasoned property developer. But I bloody hate it. DH leaves me with jobs to do and people to meet and it drives me mad. I just want to move in at the end and get to the stage I don’t give a crap that it’s half finished and wouldn’t care if it stayed like that forever!

We never live in the house for the duration of the works - makes things much, much easier. I couldn’t live in it!

I hate it too. I have ADHD and chronic ill health and find the thought of it, the planning and decision making exhausting and overwhelming.

I hate dealing with the tradesmen. Making the calls, the fake "small talk", obviously multiple calls, having people round multiple times, chasing quotes, chasing them again for dates etc etc etc

And I then hate having people in the house.

I also worry about me coping with the actual work if I have a bad spell with my health.

We need loads of work but the whole things an overwhelming nightmare tbh.

@DinoHat

We never live in the house for the duration of the works - makes things much, much easier. I couldn’t live in it!

Where did you stay?

Couldn't agree more. It's a good way to spoil all enjoyment of living in your home. We've done a huge project that has dragged on for years. I wish we'd just slapped some paint on the walls.

We've found it's better to do it in stages. Kitchen this year, bathroom next year etc. It's the relentlessness of doing it all at once that I find stressful but I can cope with couple of months a year. The summer months are easier as you can escape to the garden and the trades can do a lot of messy stuff outside and there's less chance of bad weather that could hold things up. Choosing stuff is stressful. Making lists can help and saving pictures from the internet of styles you like can help narrow down what you want. Try not to be swayed by current fashions as you can regret it in a couple of years. Stick to neutral and timeless and keep the bold colours and designs for accessories that can be easily changed.

Loathe it.
I would like to change my kitchen just because, rather than necessity, but can't face the complete PITA that it will be and people in the house, so I keep putting it off.

OP,
Do not allow ANYONE in the house unless they have been solidly recommended, under ANY circumstances.

Builders can make a renovation a PITA or the stuff of complete nervous breakdowns.

Wait for a good builder, don't be rushed into allowing someone you are not sure of start the job.

I’m facing this in the next year or two and I’m dreading it.

Our windows need replacing, kitchen needs doing, new floors, bathroom...ugh.

And how do you even start budgeting? How much is it all supposed to cost? I have someone in mind to do it, and I just know he’ll say ‘What’s your budget?’ and DH and I will be like

Yes. I hate the big stuff and dealing with trades people. However I also find it impossible to choose paint, blinds, flooring etc, fearing an expensive mistake. Consequently one room takes us months. Do agree with the childbirth comment though.

Done it twice - once a huge renovation - plastering, windows, floors, kitchen, bathroom, electrics, wall demolition etc etc
Second one more of an update of old fittings new windows, electrics etc

Get all the dirty stuff done at once - then the essentials, kitchen and bathroom - then breathe and do room by room.

Didnt enjoy it at all - won't do it again.

Did it a couple of years ago and found it hideous even though I was out at work every day. I’d have had a breakdown if I’d have been at home throughout.

@Getmoveon14

I think renovating is probably a bit like childbirth. Awful at the time, but worth it once it's done.

This!

DH and I are finishing up our second renovation. This one has cost a fortune, depleted our savings and caused us so much stress.

The first one we look back and think we were mad to do while also planning a wedding.

This one, I'm sure we'll look back and think we were mad to do it during a global pandemic.

Even with all this, I know this isn't our last renovation. The outcome, a house that is perfect for us, is totally worth it.

Our house is getting to the point that it’s going to need things doing and I can’t be arsed. I’d rather just sell to someone who like that sort of thing and buy somewhere already done.

Don't agree with the childbirth analogy as child birth is over in 24 hours usually and you are not cleaning up after it.

Childbirth IMO is a ride in the park in comparison.

As above advised, get the big dirty jobs done first even if it means you need to wait to finish the soft furnishings end of it.

Get electrics, plumbing, bathrooms, flooring, decorating in that order.

If you are not sure of colour schemes, paint everything an inexpensive white until you do.

We white washed the entire house as I wanted time to decide. It worked well.
Better to wait with decision making than to make an expensive mistake you regret.

Choosing plain, timeless fittings really means they don't date and you get a turn against them.