AIBU?
To be unhappy with the way school have dealt with my safeguarding complaint
Glitterpumpkinfairy · 19/03/2021 13:47
Name changed for this as I am terrified of this ever coming back to me.
I’m looking for some advice, what would you do?
A child in my child’s class has a YouTube account, this child is under 9.
I monitor my child’s internet (as we all should) extremely thoroughly. My child doesn’t have a YouTube account but asked to go on YouTube to watch a video their peer had made, I agreed.
These videos are mostly playing video games, connected straight to the console so no voices or pictures can be seen, I believe it’s just getting an idea on how others play the game.
I then hear some foul language, furious I ask my child to show me the video and upon browsing through this child’s account I see other videos this child has made. The one that caught my attention is this child talking to camera, telling you about their day and what games they’re currently playing, they then go and ‘spy’ on their mum who swears at them (seemingly drunk) with who the child confirms is their stepdad, all quite worrying..
Upon further inspection of this child’s account, they have several more videos, talking to camera, filming their holiday, filming around their house.
One video in particular that caused me great concern is the child is begging for likes and subscribers saying “I’ll do anything” - this sent shivers down my spine and made my blood run cold. I showed my DH and he even believes the child has tagged the video with the street they live on (obviously can’t confirm this as I don’t know where this child lives but I recognise the street name as one in our area)
The child’s YouTube account is public and although they have a odd name that would take some finding, it’s readily available for everyone to see.
I rang the school and spoke to the safeguarding lead, I did this rather than the social services route as I believed it would be a good opportunity to bring this sort of issue to the schools attention and maybe they could run a school wide assembly on the importance of internet safety, to the children and parents alike.
I called anonymously, guiding the lead to the account and voicing all my concerns.
Five days later and the only video that has been removed is the video of the mother swearing at the child, all videos are still up and can be viewed.
Personally I think the child expressing they will “do anything” with their road tagged is terrifying and I dread to think what could happen if this got in the wrong hands.
Why have the school only dealt with the video that comprises the mother and her questionable parenting?
My mind is running away with me, is the safeguarding lead a friend? I do no want this to come back to me and even more importantly to my child and I don’t know what action to take next?
Am I being over dramatic? What would you do?
I appreciate this is long so thank you for taking the time to read and thank you in advance for any advice.
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
user1493413286 · 19/03/2021 13:54
I agree with you that’s it’s worrying and completely irresponsible/neglectful parenting but all school can actually do is address it with the mum; they can’t make her take it down and although I can completely see the potential for something bad to happen with the kid saying they’ll do anything it still wouldn’t reach the threshold for social services to do anything beyond offering words of advice to the mum. There may already be social services involvement and it’s all being addressed on a longer term basis.
There isn’t really anything else you can do. I’m interested in what you would expect the school to do beyond talking to the mum about it? And if she then ignored them what you think they should do?
ErleighBird · 19/03/2021 13:55
@NotFrozen
Surely once we've made a disclosure the system isn't set up to update us on how things are handled?
At this stage you probably just have to trust things are happening.
If the videos are there for ages you could always call your LA and disclose to them separately.
MagnoliaBeige · 19/03/2021 13:57
What do you actually expect the school to do? You’ve raised your concerns but they can’t force the family to take down the videos. You also (quite rightly) have no idea what else the school might be doing to address this with the family, social services etc
WannabeOT · 19/03/2021 14:02
I don't see how the school could be responsible for taking down the video or why you think they have removed that one video? If you don't think the school have responded appropriately (although you have no way of knowing what they have done) then report it to someone else.
NotFrozen · 19/03/2021 14:04
@ErleighBird
I don’t see a downside to obtaining separate advice as the OP is worried about this. The NSPCC could either say that the OP did the right and only thing, or they could offer some additional suggestions. Erring on the side of caution can’t be a bad thing.
Deux · 19/03/2021 14:10
There was a not dissimilar situation at my DC’s primary school and I know it took almost 2 weeks for the channel to be removed. The school did report the channel to YouTube as the child was too young g for an account in their name. I know the parents were contacted and the channel was taken down by them eventually. There was hugely identifying information on it but it also identified lots of other children in the school plus school logo clearly visible on uniform etc.
Washimal · 19/03/2021 14:24
I am a school safeguarding lead. I do not have the power to force YouTube or other social media corporations to remove inappropriate content. I can report posts/videos, like any other member of the public but only YouTube or the child who posted it (or possibly a parent if they have their log in details) can actually remove it. You would be amazed at some of the things I've reported that social media platforms have refused to take down because it doesn't breach their specific guidelines. It's pretty extreme to be thinking that the video is still visible because 'maybe the safeguarding lead is a freind' of the family. That's one hell of a leap!
You have no idea what the School are doing behind the scenes to support this child and his family. There may be all sorts of actions and interventions in place to safeguard this child but that's confidential information that would not be shared with you, even if you hadn't chosen to report your concerns anonymously.
Glitterpumpkinfairy · 19/03/2021 14:36
Thank you for all the feedback.
I’ve reported all the videos that show the child’s face to YouTube.
My concern is that after reporting, one of the videos has been deleted and then it stopped there, why weren’t the others deleted?
It is actually illegal for the child to have an account so I wondered if the school could intervene that way.
I was also wondering if the school could take the child to one side and make them aware of the dangers of having your address so publicly available or even the benefits of having a private account.
I know schools go above and beyond and I can’t fault the system so please no one take my post as slandering I just want to know what I can do next?
Glitterpumpkinfairy · 19/03/2021 14:41
@Washimal
You have no idea what the School are doing behind the scenes to support this child and his family. There may be all sorts of actions and interventions in place to safeguard this child but that's confidential information that would not be shared with you, even if you hadn't chosen to report your concerns anonymously.
I was slightly concerned the only video deleted was the one where the mother was shown in a bad light (inebriated and swearing)
Although I appreciate that was a leap, please understand this is not a mother I want to get in the wrong side of or bring myself to her attention therefore I did let my mind run and I was being dramatic, apologies if that offended you.
I can’t be grateful enough for what you do and the role you play in the school.
Also, I never mentioned the sex of the child?
emilyfrost · 19/03/2021 14:42
It is actually illegal for the child to have an account so I wondered if the school could intervene that way.
No it isn’t 
It’s against YouTube’s policy, in which accounts should be held by those 13+, but it isn’t illegal.
The fact of the matter is that you don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes. You’ve reported it so you just need to trust that they’re handling it; you’ve done all you can.
Washimal · 19/03/2021 14:42
It is actually illegal for the child to have an account so I wondered if the school could intervene that way.
Intervene in what way? Call the Police? A crime hasn't been committed. Social media platforms say that no one under a certain age should sign up to absolve themselves of responsibility. It's a parents job to monitor their child's use of technology and sadly some parents are unable/unwilling to do this.
I was also wondering if the school could take the child to one side and make them aware of the dangers of having your address so publicly available or even the benefits of having a private account.
How do you know they haven't? They almost certainly will have spoken to the child and the parents about exactly this. Sadly, children and parents do not always follow advice.
EarringsandLipstick · 19/03/2021 14:42
You have no idea what the School are doing behind the scenes to support this child and his family. There may be all sorts of actions and interventions in place to safeguard this child but that's confidential information that would not be shared with you, even if you hadn't chosen to report your concerns anonymously.
This exactly.
OP, you've correctly done all that you can. You do, however, seem completely over-dramatic. I'm not sure exactly why you are so worried about being identified.
The school will do what they can. You've notified YouTube, leave it with them now.
LolaSmiles · 19/03/2021 14:45
YANBU to be concerned but YABU with your reaction towards the school.
Schools cannot compel global companies to remove material. To jump from this to the safeguarding lead being a friend sounds a bit irrational. Regarding taking the child to one side, a decision about who and when to speak to the child will be decided by the school safeguarding lead after getting guidance from social service.There also could be lots going on in the background that is available to relevant professionals only.
You can call NSPCC if you want to, and you can also speak directly to your areas safeguarding hub as well.
From your 'what I can do next' comment, I can't stress this enough: it is not your job to be doing any investigations, talking to the child to find out information, or encouraging your child to dig for information. You report any safeguarding concerns to the appropriate people but that's it.
Glitterpumpkinfairy · 19/03/2021 14:46
@emilyfrost
No it isn’t
It’s against YouTube’s policy, in which accounts should be held by those 13+, but it isn’t illegal.The fact of the matter is that you don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes. You’ve reported it so you just need to trust that they’re handling it; you’ve done all you can.
Thank you, I didn’t realise it was just a guideline! Very bad of YouTube!
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