Hello, I do believe that my husband and son are borderline or full aspergers, this is a long road I have been on, before all the info on the internet about these things.When I first met my husband my MIL tried to put me off him( he is adopted), he is an oddball, she said, a weirdo etc, but I love him I said.At the time I had very low self esteem, he was sexy, educated, comfortable.As the years went on we had a child, a son, who seemed fine, but as the years went on, I realised that things were not right His querks became more apparent, and in the meantime I has another child, a daughter, from the moment she came home, my son was violent towards her, and so this carried on.In the meantime, husband just emotionally ignored me, I had father with cancer, problems with son at school, etc, eventually I had a breakdown, which my husbands family failed to recognise, I was supposed to go on some family weekend with them, and because of the breakdown it was blamed on me for being difficult.His brother has always hated me and was rude from the start.I am posting this because nothing really changes, my son caused issues all through his senior years at school, he got a scholarship super intelligent etc, husband did well in the police, became inspector etc but never acknowledged his sons issues, because he is the same, but different, son never sent a card or got anyone a present, husband the opposite, my question is, I have tried and tried to get them to help themselves, or at least to get husband to support me with my son, who is currently lazing in his room, and should be at uni, I am at the end of my road, exhaused, done, I cannot make them get help and I am heartbroken not just for me but mainly for my gorgeous daughter, should I just leave? afterall I cannot MAKE them change can I? but just heartbroken to break up the family, advice thanks