to think few of us ever really change our opinions

[whoopsnomore]

Thinking about another thread on here at them moment and how we take polarised stances on so many issues. I wonder whether there is real "debate" and respectful discussion. Has anyone honestly listened to someone else's views on a political, moral or philosophical topic and (or the royal Family ) and actually been persuaded and changed their mind?

I've changed my mind on plenty of things!

Recent examples: the taking down of colonial statues who links to slavery. At first I thought it was really disorderly and uncalled for, then I began to see how insulting it must be as a person of colour to see a statue in your town that praises someone who once owned your ancestors.

And another one: Harry and Megan have grown on me massively. I thought they were disrespectful and MM was a bit too Wallace Simpson but actually now I think good for them getting away from a family they don't like and how great to be able to raise money for causes you believe in via an incredible platform they've created (Netflix contract, Podcast etc).

There are lots of subjects I don't know an awful lot about, so I'm very happy to listen to both sides of the argument and form my own opinion accordingly.

If I have a very polarised view, it's likely to be because I've already spent a lot of time thinking and exploring different viewpoints and come to my own decision.

I accept that too many people have strong opinions without any reason for them though!

I have!

I used to be in favour of ‘altruistic surrogacy’, but having listened to the arguments and learned more I am now very much opposed except perhaps in very rare circumstances (and maybe not even then).

I’m way more in favour of Harry and Meghan than I used to be. When they first started out I wanted to like them but felt like they blundered all the time. Now I have a much better understanding of the way their actions were framed by a racist press, and I have way more love and support for them.

My faith restored a little already! I just feel sometimes when I read threads on here and other discussion forums that positions seem so entrenched and there is the "echo" chamber " effect on social media and the press people choose to follow. Sometimes it comes across as everyone shouting and nobody listening!

I think that most of us have changed our minds on Covid. A year later I'd think it was unusual if a person was wiping groceries, buying food once a month etc I know that there are dementors who froth about essential purchases at a supermarket but I dgaf if you're in front of me in the queue with just a bar of chocolate or something.

I used to be very pro the death penalty. I changed my mind and am now very 'anti' after DH and I robustly discussed and debated it. This was in first year uni', so a while ago.

I change my mind quite often. I’m always interested in hearing another point of view: and I love a good debate

I have.

Yes sometimes someone mentions an idea or a fact that I hadn't thought of or didn't know about and it changes my mind completely or at least shows me that I have to do a bit more research.

I used to get most of my news / political info from The Guardian. I did not understand quite how biased it is and that it just doesn't cover certain things. I love when people offer up their sources of info, helps me get a bigger picture and ideas about which other news outlets I could be using. I'm less closed minded since joining MN.

People don't have ideas, ideas have people.

You might feel altruistic and kind one day and the next selfish and hateful - it depends on the circumstances of you life in that particular moment really.

It's very interesting though :) plenty of people change their minds all the time - it's not really in our control to know why we believe certain things - you can say you were convinced by logic or an argument but it's always subjective because otherwise everyone end up thinking the same way

tbh, one thing I have learned is to try not to have opinions. Most the time I don't have enough information to have one that I would want to rely on later.

I've known my best friend for over 55 years. She votes Labour and I vote Conservative. We have had many discussions over the years but neither has changed their opinion.

The only difference is that unlike on here, she has never called me Tory scum, nor has she ever indicated that she would spit on me because I'm a Tory voter, as one lovely MNer once posted. A number of left wingers on here tend to err on the side of extreme.

I change my mind quite often when offered alternative viewpoints that I can empathise with, and understand. Case in point was COVID. I was absolutely that person at the start shouting "stay the fuck at home", mostly because I was stressed about becoming ill and not having anyone to look after DD.

Then it was pointed out to me that someone in a top-storey flat might need to get out of the house more often than once a day, especially when home schooling/working from home. And that, as I live in a rural area, not everyone has the benefit of nature on their doorstep.

Replied to my friend saying I'd completely understood their viewpoint and it had changed my stance, and she panicked thinking I was offended.

We should totally normalise changing your opinion - I do think everything is so polarised that often changing one's mind feels like a bigger deal than it is.

I've changed my mind on lots of topics, on ethics, politics and professional issues.

There are some topics I'll debate with more passion though, for example I've had some interesting brexit discussions with friends who voted Brexit, but if any of my friends heard women discussing male violence and said "oh but Lola, you should think of the men, what about the men who feel uncomfortable when women discuss misogyny and violence" then that's probably going to be a bit more heated.

I grew up in a (financially) poor conservative voting home on a Scottish island. I'm now economically left wing and have much much more understanding and sympathy for people in difficult circumstances.

I am much more of a feminist than when I was younger too.

I have changed my views on nuclear weapons.

Yes totally! I grew up in the 1980s in a house with the Daily Mail, was terrified of the IRA and had zero understanding of the conflict between Ireland and England. Sinn Fein were strange scary words that I didn't understand. Have completely changed my stance on many political and historical events and historical figures thanks to DH who is from the North of Ireland. I have lost pretty much any sense of patriotism I once had and not because DH has ever condemned me or criticised me but because I have an intense dislike of the atrocities carried out by the country I was born in. It feels so much more liberating to have an open mind on any topic.

I always listen to different views.

I very rarely change my opinions - though it may happen occasionally

Is there an expectation that others should change their mind as a result of something we say? Why?

I've changed my mind on lots of things if there is evidence suggests I should. I used to be pro-EU, experience told me otherwise. I initially held off watching South Park because I'd been led to believe it was childish rubbish, actually watching a few episodes made me realise it isn't.

Fucking hell, I once thought the Lib Dems were a credible political party. Times change, opinions change.

I don't know, I think I do, occasionally! Also, with people, I can think of a few people I didn't like to begin with but I grew to like them.

Times change

Yes, I think it's natural to change one's mind (on some issues) as the years go by.

Mumsnet has definitely changed the way that I think about things. As a white woman in a predominantly white area I had little understanding of the issues that black women in particular face before mumsnet. Its also dramatically changed my view on feminist issues in general.

Yeah. I used to have some pretty simplistic and privileged views about the benefits system, which make me feel nauseous to remember. Thankfully I saw sense when structural inequality and socialism were explained to me.

There are loads of examples where I’ve learned more about things, or experienced something first hand, or listened to a friend tell me about their experiences, and my views have changed accordingly. My politics have moved to the centre right as I’ve gotten older and experienced different things. I used to have very left views and the Guardian was my Bible. I also used to be vegan and felt very strongly that eating animal products was immoral - and I now eat meat.

Over the years I've changed/refined my opinions on many subjects:

Abortion
Feminism
Politics
Education
Diet and health

The list goes on...

Is there an expectation that others should change their mind as a result of something we say? Why?

Not necessarily expected, but good to be open to the possibility, no? Especially in situations where the person you are talking to has direct experience of an issue which you don’t have. You don’t have to agree with them, but it’s worth considering their viewpoint on the basis that they may have access to information and experiences which you don’t have but which would inform your view.