To encourage my 9 year old into medicine already?

[SunshiningBetty]

My 9 year old daughter is very mature and academic. From a very young age she has loved anything medical and devours books and TV shows about the body and hospitals. She is desperate to become a doctor already. I am worried about encouraging that too much as I know how hard the life of a junior doctor can be. She is constantly asking to find a club, group, camp or course which would foster her interest but I have had no luck finding anything. Is this something I should help her pursue already and does anyone have any ideas of what she could do? Or should I stick to something more neutral like brownies?

One of mine was absolutely desperate to become an engineer at that age, OP. His 7th b'day present was a Physics text book (it was the only thing he wanted). He is now an adult and is a musician. By all means encourage your child's interests - but don't let her interests and apparent ambitions become the defining things about her. She needs to know that you love her regardless of whatever career she might end up with.

sea cadets?

I'm less sure that the Adam Kay book is a good idea. It's always sad when someone so passionate quits, even if they are an arse, but there is quite a lot in the book that is very telling. He really did think he was a hero and his attitude heralds what comes next.

Good for her! Echo getting her involved in SJA. I think beavers/Cubs would be a good idea too as they do lots of different adventurous activities, and later on at school doing things like Duke of Edinburgh and NCS are very good things to put on a uni application form.

My DD got a microscope and chemistry set for Christmas. She likes electronic kits as well. I'd encourage a general love of science.

(FWIW... At a similar age I announced I wanted to be a doctor. Everything focused on that. I realised at 16 I didn't.. but still applied to medical school as everyone expected me too. And failed to get in.... But at least I then get to do what I really liked.. Engineering. Don't put too much expectation on her)

I can't believe anyone would advise you against encouraging her.

My very studious daughter has been banging on about wanting to do a PhD since she was 7. It's annoying sometimes because she's a twin and her sister is much more typical and has absolutely no interest in such things.

I have to find a balance between encouraging the person who is driven to be like that (and wants to find cures for diseases, save the world, go to the best university and get the best grades in the whole entire world etc etc ) to be herself, whilst also encouraging my other daughter that it's perfectly normal to have absolutely no interest in such things.

Surely it's about encouraging natural interest without actually pushing anything onto them?

I think she means the book he's just written for kids. Kays Anatomy. It's very good and quite funny according to my 8yo!

Being academic is a terrible reason to be a doctor. I'm a doctor myself, and work with so many unhappy colleagues who were pushed into the career by their parents or school, because it is seen as a good choice for academic high flyers.

Medicine isn't actually that intellectually demanding most of the time (though obviously you have to pass difficult exams). It is however, extremely physically and emotionally demanding. You can't ever do anything perfectly, so it is really badly suited to perfectionist, rule-following personalities - precisely the type of people who get pushed towards it. Doctors have high rates of alcoholism and suicide, especially female doctors. Many people who become doctors would probably have been better suited to being medical scientists (who are not doctors) or to research.

By all means, encourage your DD in her interest in science, but encourage her to think more widely than being a doctor. If she grows up to have a personality suited to medicine, then great. But please do not force it.

I wanted to be a Nurse when I was 8, used to watch "Your Life in Their Hands", black and white operations, documentary. My lae Father wanted me to join the Police, never got tall enough, then a journalist. I worked my way up in various offices, then at 20, did my Nursing Training. However, most of my friends kids started something at college or uni, then completely changed their minds. But, yes you could find out about junior first aid courses, go from there.

My friend's daughter didn't get a place for medicine last year AAA, orchestra, guide leader, DofE gold etc..., volunteered at all sorts of care places and as a driver for prescription delivery etc this year in her "gap year" and didn't get a place for this year either. She is going to study something Bio-medical instead.

There are so many kids chasing so few places. She has been aiming at this from 12 years old, she is devastated, she had no plan B. That may be something to think of... plan B...

I definitely meant the adult Adam Kay book not the children’s one (I’m sure that’s very good too).

The long shifts in medicine would have killed me. I can see why so many drs marry drs, no one else would fully get the long hours & also who else are they going to meet working like that?.

@PurpleWh1teGreen

I'm less sure that the Adam Kay book is a good idea. It's always sad when someone so passionate quits, even if they are an arse, but there is quite a lot in the book that is very telling. He really did think he was a hero and his attitude heralds what comes next.

That and the subject matter is definitely suitable for a 9 year old🤣

If she’s interested encourage the interest by all means but the vast majority of us change our minds about career don’t we? And the school biology curriculum is quite dull which might kill the interest a bit!

Can you chat to her about all the other non academic qualities a doctor could have...

• caring/bedside manner: attending brownies/guides where she will make friends and build relationships

• teamwork: all medics work as part of a team (nurses/auxiliaries/surgeons/social workers)...a team sport will help develop her team work skills.

• problem solving: drs need to be able to think on their feet and solve tricky problems that might not be answers in a book. Again guides or venture scouts or something like orienteering would encourage such skills.

Point out that medics work long hours and it’s a tough gig. Having a hobby and good friends is essential to survive and thrive what is a tough profession. Make sure she doesn’t pursue her dream at a cost...

*unsuitable!

I'm a doctor. I didn't know I wanted to be a doctor until I was 16. What got me into medical school was good grades, being confident in interviews, a few weeks of work experience and having extra curriculas at school.
Id get her into normal activities like sports and brownies or whatever
DOI I don't want either of my kids doing medicine, if they're brainy and sociable I can think of way better jobs that pay more and have less people die on you

I desperately wanted to be a vet at 9 - as does my daughter at the age of 10. Not saying it won't happen for her, or indeed your daughter, but it certainly didn't for me when I went to secondary school and realised that actually my strengths lay in languages not science.

9 is VERY young to be going down a certain route. Let her try lots of different things. If she does cubs or brownies - they will inevitably do some first aid stuff at some point.

Encourage away - then she will probably grow out of it. It's a hard life and only a job to choose if you really must. St John Ambulance will be fun for her anyway.

My child kept changing their mind on a future career, we supported several interests and watched them grow out of most of them.

I knew I wanted to be a doctor from the age of 3. I even knew what field I wanted to be in (as much as one can at 3) and that is indeed what I ended up doing, and have done for over 30 years now. My parents encouraged me throughout childhood to engage in a wide variety of activities including ballet and Spanish dancing to a high level (exams, becoming a performer and all), Brownies/Guides, acting, debating, and many other things that had nothing to do directly with medicine. That was the right thing to do and stood me in very good stead in later life. Skills like work ethos, perserverence, self-confidence, self-presentation, etc are more important to develop at that stage than specific science/medical related activities.

@ghostyslovesheets

I'm not sure you need to encourage her - she's interested in something - let her be interested - maybe try St Johns Ambulance badgers and cadets

It's not going to do her any hard having an interest - I child I used to look after was obsessed with Casualty from an early age - she's now an A+E Nurse - she loves her job - that's a good thing to aim for - a job you like!

This was DS2. He was obsessed with City Hospital as a preschooler, then Casualty and 24hrs in A&E. He always wanted to be an A&E nurse and was until a month ago. He’s had a promotion and moved on to another post now, though.

I disagree that 9 is too young to know what they want to do. Both my 2 did and they both are what they said they would be. It helped a lot when they were teens too, because they didn’t play up when it came to Gogg to school and doing their homework because they had goals and knew what they had to do to achieve them.

My point is that children change. Don’t stop her looking at Medicine, saying she wants to be a doctor etc... but don’t make it her identity already. Praise any other interests she has the same way you would with biology/science/maths.
Maybe she will be a doctor, maybe she won’t. She shouldn't either be pushed or stirred away from it.

This very much so.

When my (now adult) DD was young ( about your DD's age or even younger) she made her mind up she wanted to be a doctor. We didn't take it all that seriously at that age because children change and also we knew that it was a very difficult path to follow and there was no way of knowing at that stage whether she would be able to get the academic qualifications.

Obviously we didn't discourage her but we tried not to put too much weight on it.

However, as she got older and started to move up through senior school she was still sure that was what she wanted , she was also doing very well academically and seemed particularly good at sciences. We thought well maybe there is something in this. When they had to do work experience in Y10 or Y11 she used her own initiative to apply for and get a w/e place in the local hospital.

Anyway I began to look around to see if there was other resources and support she would need to help her in to this career path. For example, I found out (probably through mumsnet !) that she would have to get a considerable amount of relevant w/e before she even applied and also about the aptitude tests (BMAT? forget now) etc.

So she started in VI form doing relevant A-levels and, we assumed still all keen on medicine. It was about half way through lower VIth, roughly when she was starting to look at University admissions, that she eventually said that she was having doubts. That she had realised she was interested in the science side of medicine but was not sure she actually wanted to be a doctor. Then it turned out that she had felt like that for a while but hadn't wanted to say because she thought we would be disappointed! Not the case at all - in fact if anything I was slightly relieved. Turns out my efforts to "help" and seek out potentially useful information had com across as me being really keen for her to go in to that career. I felt awful that I had unwittingly come across as pressuring her.

Well it all came good in the end. She applied for and got on to a degree course that was more in line with her actual interests and is now doing a career she enjoys.

So - long way to go from 9 yo to doctor. Don't read too much in to it yet!

Brownies/guides sounds like a great idea.

At 9 years old, even 'tiger' parenting should be about keeping doors open rather than relentlessly pushing towards a particular one.

The best bet for now is to concentrade on being a happy, healthy, child who's doing well academically.

Thinking about it, the thing that helped me most towards medicine was being encouraged to take up calligraphy. Really improved my fine motor skills, which was definitely necessary!

I think she should keep an open mind. Never a good idea to put all eggs in one basket.

Just lots of fun broad educational experiences. Look out for science fairs, maybe visit the Wellcome Collection and the Science Gallery at King’s College on a day trip to London .

The science centre at Hurstmonceaux is also brilliant for her age group.

Fun activities, though. amongst other fun mind broadening activities. I wouldn’t push it.

I am a doctor and my daughter, aged 9, has always been very interested in medicine.

I think myself that a related field, more lucrative and less consuming of one's time and personal life, might be better in the long run.

She is very interested also in art, all sorts of crafts, dancing. music and a whole load of after school clubs along these lines, and we have encouraged her to have fun with these experiences.

We did encounter a CPR instruction station at a local event and the paramedics thought she was great, very on the ball, thoughtful and helpful. ("We'll have you" they said jokingly. They were less interested in having her very silly elder brother).

If she is still interested as a teenager, then she could apply to med school. It is not the end of the world if she doesn't or if she ends up doing a different subject.

I'm very grateful though for the link to SJA, we could pursue that, at least as far as the taster sessions, might be interesting.