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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Maternity leave - the FEAR!

36 replies

Changeythenamey · 18/03/2021 13:25

Hi all

I’m just looking for some reassurance from women who have been in a similar position. I’m expecting my first baby shortly and I am currently preparing for maternity leave. I’m a senior lawyer at a bank and I have a massive case load and very demanding clients. I’m satisfied that I’ve given myself enough time to handover and that things are in good order but the stress of stepping back in really playing on my mind. What if I miss something?

I’m terrifying that things won’t be dealt with or, worse, things will be identified that I haven’t dealt with. Im worried about having someone else pick up my work and my clients have made it pretty clear they are not happy I’m ‘taking a year off’.

I don’t want to spend 12 months worrying. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I’m hoping it will all fade into insignificance when the baby arrives.

Thanks

OP posts:

Barneybear11 · 18/03/2021 15:55

I disagree with some pp, my job didn’t just disappear from my mind when I had my babies.
I’ve taken short leave both times because my job doesn’t really allow me to be off for any length of time and be able to step in where I left off.

You may or may not worry about work, but you’ve done what you can. And there is nothing stopping you going back earlier than planned if that’s what suits you.

B1rthis · 18/03/2021 15:59

Before having children I chose a job that didn't have "homework" so I wasn't worrying about what I had left to do the next day... for the reasons you've said!

pigletpie2177 · 18/03/2021 20:25

Also a lawyer, and currently 8 weeks into Mat leave with baby 2. Had the fear both times. Wfh means that my laptop is a bit too accessible and whilst I've been pretty good, I did use it for something else the other day and snuck a look at my emails 🙈 I managed to resist responding to any but only because I could see things were in hand from the threads! Businesses function when people leave, temporarily or otherwise. I'm had a couple of texts letting me know when something concludes and I like to know, but I definitely care less right now with my gorgeous baby to distract me!

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 18/03/2021 20:28

Firstly, congratulations!

Honestly OP as soon as your beautiful baby comes along you won't even think about work. Aside from the fact that you won't have time, your life is utterly, utterly consumed by this teeny person that when your maternity leave is over you'll probably wonder how the hell to do your job seriously though don't sweat it. If you left the company they would get on just fine, so they have to get on during your maternity leave.

dontsaveusername · 18/03/2021 20:45

Write a list of all your current cases, with a brief resume of where the cases are. Update this list regularly but briefly in the run up to ML. Put down names of people you have handed the cases over to and instructions you have given. This should reassure you everything has been done and nothing forgotten.

Scottishskifun · 18/03/2021 20:51

I was in a similar position when I had my son - critical role quite a lot of issues if my workload wasn't dealt with.

I wrote a very detailed handover summarising each issue, any ones I was aware of in the next 12 months and did links to file storage within the document.

I found out during my mat leave that I was massively missed - they didn't realise how hectic my workload was and it took 2 people to get through it but otherwise was all OK in the end!

mynameiscalypso · 18/03/2021 21:04

I'm another one who disagrees that you just stop worrying about these things when you have a baby - I enjoy my job and like my clients and was happy to keep up to speed on things. There were a couple of bits that I did because it seemed easier to do it in half an hour with a snoozing newborn than to try and get someone else to do it. I took 18 months off in the end but going back was really easy because I'd kept vaguely on top of things. Nothing major but checking my emails every week or so, having calls with my boss, doing some additional technical studying. I did find that there were a number of non-urgent things that I thought I'd managed to get rid of by having a baby only to find them still hanging around when I got back.

Spudbyanyothername · 18/03/2021 21:05

Totally relate but can honestly say that part was much easier than I imagined. When you have handed over, if possible don’t try and keep up to date or check on things, just let it go!

SnackSizeRaisin · 18/03/2021 21:12

I think sometimes women feel guilty for taking maternity leave. Don't - it's a normal part of life and most of your clients will have children themselves at some point, if they don't already. Seriously, no one will bat an eyelid about you taking time off.
Just hand over as thoroughly as possible. And you can always still be contactable by email if you want. Maybe not for the first couple of weeks though!

Bridget83 · 18/03/2021 21:40

For the first 2 weeks of my mat leave I worried about work and clients, team members and emails I should have sent (not a lawyer but banking employee). I hated not knowing what was going on. Then I gradually let go, and the baby arrived and I didnt think about it again for atleast 6 months (until I had a catch up with my boss). The wheels still turn without me it seems!

TotorosFurryBehind · 18/03/2021 21:43

I understand the feeling and felt similar. But when she was born some kind of primal maternal instinct took over and all I cared about was her. As an anxious person I've always had problems living in the moment and practicing mindfulness... I have never felt so in the moment as those first weeks with my baby.

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