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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu or abnormal or understandable .

5 replies

cheapskater · 18/03/2021 12:36

I'm in a new relationship after years of marital stone walling / coercion/ misery which culminated in him having an affair and walking out leaving me shocked, bereft and panicked . Two of three of our kids have special needs . Each of the children has regressed markedly but with supports/ therapy etcI believe they have turned the corner .
After 18 months I went on a date with a man I met through old. We got on well and here we are six months on enjoying each other's company and things are developing well. I never thought that this would happen but it has just developed . No issues except for one ...
I am convinced he is going to cheat on me . It's irrational and ridiculous .
He has given me no reason to believe he is going to cheat. He is committed to our relationship . I literally have not one reason to believe he is talking / texting anyone else .
I find myself looking for holes in stories/ checking social media activity . I feel so awful and stressed .He has lots of female and male friends and is on good terms with his exw regarding his children . To me, he seems like a good egg.
I've had therapy . I enjoy his company. He is patient and I've been honest and said that it will take me time to trust again and to be sensitive to my issues. He has been and continues to be . Is this normal considering what happened ?
I don't want to
Mess this up. I know that under normal
Circumstances I would tell a friend to run for the hills if they told me they met someone like me so I know it's irrational . Any thoughts or advice welcome please .

OP posts:
cheapskater · 18/03/2021 13:14

Any opinions appreciated ??

OP posts:
Mabelface · 18/03/2021 13:18

I think maybe continue with therapy. You recognise this is your issue, not his so you need ways to divert your thinking. Best of luck!

Rumplestrumpet · 18/03/2021 13:19

It sounds like a very stressful experience for you. I wouldn't say it's normal but perhaps understandable after what you've been through.

That said, you really need to get on top of this and address your issues do you can enjoy this relationship. Is more therapy an option?

cheapskater · 18/03/2021 13:24

I Can't afford that at the moment but even if I had a recommendation for a book or podcast it may help.
It silly because we are so happy and when together there isn't one thing that has raised a red flag . He is an open book . It's a shitty place to be .

OP posts:
cheapskater · 18/03/2021 14:09

Thank you to pp's . Any other thoughts or advice please

OP posts:
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