Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not understand how a fully grown adult..

477 replies

LifesLittleDeciders · 18/03/2021 09:23

Doesn’t like any vegetables at all?
I was just watching a video about a man who wanted to find recipes he could eat that don’t contain vegetables as he doesn’t like any veg.

I mean come on.. there’s as many flavours in different vegetables as there are colours in the world.. yet he would proclaim to ‘hate all colours’

I just don’t get it. Kids I sort of understand; especially when they descend from fussy parents. But I just think ‘grow up’ when I read about adults not touching vegetables. I’m not talking about “I don’t like broccoli or carrots” - won’t eat vegetables at all.

And the “salad? Do I look like a rabbit?” Slur that comes from people

Who won’t eat anything remotely green or healthy, that saying really boils my piss. Just say no thank you?!

I know IABU as it’s none of my business but it just made me roll my eyes and would be interested to hear others opinions on it.

OP posts:
nestlestealswater · 18/03/2021 15:47

Another point of view here - I didn't really eat any vegetables (or even meat) until I was an adult. I didn't drink water either!

The reason was a combination of mild sensory issues (I don't find wet textures pleasant even now) and the awful scenes that would be made at the dinner table. Being forced to eat, being made to sit at the dinner table until it was time for bed, being told off and told that I was being naughty for not eating the food. That was what made me go from "ugh I don't really fancy this" to "trying new foods is traumatic and I need to avoid it". Plus even if I tried and liked something it was made into a massive deal and if I'd eaten something it was proof that I liked it and there was no excuse not to eat it whenever it was served in future.

When I started to live on my own with no pressure to eat anything I had a few years of living on toast and bananas, then felt able to start to try new things. I eat all the veg now (although no meat as I'm vegan), and even though I still don't always like foods (mushrooms and aubergines) I'm reasonably happy to eat them to get the benefit, which I guess is what the OP was saying all adults should be able to do.

My kids are very similar to how I was as a child (one autistic and one just fussy) and I'm making sure to learn from my experience. I serve up a wide variety of food, serve up familiar and unfamiliar foods regularly, model eating a varied diet, talk about healthy choices, but never force them to try anything. They have quite a limited diet now but I know that I'm setting them up to be able to explore food choices in a relaxed way as they get older.

QueenPaw · 18/03/2021 15:47

@MishaHarrow I always make my own, like these
I'm lazy with fruit and veg. If it's put in front of me, I eat anything but living alone I find it harder
Try to eat a banana or apple daily and add veg to everything and a bag of steam veg on the side

To not understand how a fully grown adult..
To not understand how a fully grown adult..
StanfordPines · 18/03/2021 15:52

Ive never heard of boil my pi....who/where says this?

Haven't heard it in london, lol.

Oh, You've not heard it in London? Well then it doesn't exist.

ScoobyCat · 18/03/2021 15:54

Shinyletsbebadguys

I find it distasteful to have to say oh I am autistic and from a working class background therefore my opinion of this being offensive is more valid than anyone else’s.

My opinion is my opinion, no more valid than yours or anyone else’s, and that is that these threads always have a sneery undertone at people who had to eat cheap
shit food because their parents couldn’t afford decent stuff/ didn’t have the time /energy/skills to cook properly- it’s always the majority of working class people. And lucky for the people who were poor whose parents had access/time for allotments, it doesn’t change the circumstances for those who didn’t.

If you don’t agree it’s offensive that’s fine, but it doesn’t mean that some people won’t find it rude and offensive.

Much like the sentence he’s neurotypical, got a proper job and everything which to me is saying that to having a proper job is an indicator of being neurotypical. You might not think that is a real shitty ‘turn of phrase’ to use but I do.

MishaHarrow · 18/03/2021 15:56

[quote QueenPaw]@MishaHarrow I always make my own, like these
I'm lazy with fruit and veg. If it's put in front of me, I eat anything but living alone I find it harder
Try to eat a banana or apple daily and add veg to everything and a bag of steam veg on the side [/quote]
@QueenPaw

Those look really nice/tasty! (And most importantly, filling)

Will look into some recipes and try making my own, similar to those :)

FoxyTheFox · 18/03/2021 15:57

I agree ScoobyCat and often when someone says a shitty, ableist thing and are challenged on it they will response with a wide-eyed "I didn't mean you / disabled people...." Except you bloody did because your disableism is so internalised that you don't even realise you're doing it.

PattyPan · 18/03/2021 16:10

@springtimesunshine

Ah, you're talking about me!

I am 37. I don't eat fruit and veg. Well barely any. I eat potatoes, I will eat smooth veg based sauces (like a mushroom, bolognese or chilli sauce but much be blended). I can eat vegetable soup, if it's blended and sieved. I drink smooth orange juice. That's it.

I grew up eating a very limited diet, I basically lived on milk, orange juice, meat, cereals, rice, pasta, bread, cheese and fish. I was that way until late teens then I got more adventurous. It's weird I would always eat spicy or strongly flavoured foods that lots of children wouldn't (like a hot chicken curry) but not a bite of carrot or a banana. I would eat quite odd things for a young person/child - I always loved smoked salmon for example, but a spoon of peas? Nope, vomit. My parents despaired, I was taken to see several doctors who told my parents varying things from 'force her', 'starve her out' and 'she'll grow out of it, she's just attention seeking'. None of it worked.

It's not about taste for me. I like the taste of some vegetables (I love mushroom soup/sauces for example). It's texture. I have never, ever been able to bite and chew something that has the texture of veg and fruit. The wetness makes me gag and if I continue, vomit, as I try to swallow it.

I've tried lots of things over the years. Gradual exposure, bites, holding things in my mouth but not chewing. With limited success. I can now small manage bits of onion or tomato in a bolognese sauce for example. I could not bite a raw tomato, or an apple. I can eat eggs now, never could before. Still can't do fried or poached, too wet, but can do well cooked scrambled or an omelette 🤦‍♀️

My DD (5) has been diagnosed with autism. I do not know if I'm autistic or not, but we certainly share some traits and I actually suspect that even if I am not autistic then I have sensory difficulties. It all makes sense, after a lifetime of being told I'm a pain in the arse fussy eater, and a lifetime of people piss taking or being rude about me.

DD is a limited eater too, she will only eat certain set meals and as a baby she was a total nightmare for food. She also cannot tolerate certain textures. However happily, some of her set foods are quite a good variety of fruit and vegetables, as long as the vegetables are raw! So though she is very rigid about food she actually eats reasonably well from all food groups, loads of fruits, some salad and some raw veg, which is brilliant.

My younger child - who so far has no autistic traits - has no such issues and will eat anything you put in front of her. She's only 2.5 but she'll even give sprouts a go! She loves spinach too. Both children have been raised the same - huge variety because I was so conscious of them not being 'fussy' like me, lots of family mealtimes (they see their Dad eating healthily with piles of veg on his plates and I put salad on my plate etc even if they don't see me eat it). DH eats anything and everything, as does everyone else in our family. My brothers - raised identically to me - also eat everything.

I don't know what the answer is, but don't just assume people are stubborn and fussy. No one would know this about me, they'd all just assume the same. I'm sure some people genuinely do have no interest in deviating from their boring beige diets, but most people I bet would love to sit down and eat normally like everyone else. I've struggled with food my whole life. It's horrible, embarrassing, and unhealthy.

How do I not have rickets? Well I take a good daily multivitamin. I try to have a blended veg based sauce (like bolognese or chilli) twice a week. I make it normally then blend my portion so the rest of the family have theirs as it should be. And once a month I make a huge saucepan of a 12 veg soup, blend and sieve it -it's got to be sieved! - and have that for lunch a couple of times a week. Orange juice (just a glass) daily. It's definitely not my five a day, but it all helps, right?

It always makes me laugh on threads where people are talking about vegan restaurants and people say 'well the meat eaters can go to vegan restaurants because they eat all foods, but the vegans can't go to the meat eater ones really, there's little choice for them' and I think 'I couldn't, unless it was plain chips I bet there'd be nothing I can eat there!'. No offence, vegans Wink

Plain chips is what vegans have to eat at many meat-serving restaurants (although places are gradually cottoning on to offering a vegan options), so you could take it in turns Wink
MobyDicksTinyCanoe · 18/03/2021 16:15

I don't like veg, particularly cooked veg.

I do however eat a wide range of veg because I know its god for me. If I didn't have to I wouldn't tho

CateTown · 18/03/2021 16:20

Some people really acting superior just because their taste buds like veg and/or fruit. I eat plenty of veg, teen DD doesn't. She's not fussy or awkward, she's fab (and very fit). I hope when she's older she'll force veg down for its health benefits but it doesn't make you a better person because you relish brassicas or gorge on sugary fruits.

StanfordPines · 18/03/2021 16:24

gorge on sugary fruits

Talk about acting superior.

CateTown · 18/03/2021 16:29

@StanfordPines

gorge on sugary fruits

Talk about acting superior.

Huh?
StanfordPines · 18/03/2021 16:33

You are saying that people are acting all superior because they eat vegetables when other people don't yet you are sneering at people by saying they are 'gorging on sugary fruit'. You could just say 'eating fruit' but by adding the words gorging and sugary you are making a judgment on the choice that people make to eat fruit.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 18/03/2021 16:38

I eat vegetables because they're good for you but I really don't enjoy them to be quite honest. I only eat a few - peas, carrots, broccoli, parsnips. I don't eat salad.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 18/03/2021 16:39

I don't eat much fruit either apart from bananas and raspberries.

muddlepiddle · 18/03/2021 16:45

I found when I was pregnant with dd2 the texture of a lot of foods turned my stomach, I couldn't eat boiled veg or stewed meat and even now 15yrs later I find that some boiled veg that I ate before still make me feel sick. I can eat raw or stir-fried veg fine.

AdoraBell · 18/03/2021 16:46

DH thought he didn’t like many vegetables, mostly because late MIL boiled the life of every veg, even courgettes.

I don’t have patience with fussy eaters, rather than people with sensory issues, so I just cooked the veg I wanted to eat, the way I wanted it, and he decided he does like most vegetables.

minniemoocher · 18/03/2021 16:50

Dd has to be bribed to eat veg in her 20's. Has sn but in other life aspects is capable

SingleHandSue · 18/03/2021 16:52

I dislike almost all fruit except for tomatoes, and strawberries and raspberries when they’re at their best.

However I love veg and salad so don’t worry too much.

DS1 19 only eats carrots with a Sunday lunch, maybe the odd bit of lettuce or cucumber in a sandwich if it’s already in there, and apples and grapes on occasion. He’s trying to do better though.

huggzy · 18/03/2021 17:01

I'm terrible with fruit and veg. I don't know why, I just know that it's rarely due to the flavour, more due to texture. I love celery soup, for example, but it's smooth so no texture.

My children are pretty good though- one a little fussy with fruit but good with veg, the other no problems at all.

Crankley · 18/03/2021 17:10

RampantIvy

Why won't you eat anything other than English food @Crankley? Have you never even tried pizza, or any pasta at all?

I do eat an occasional margherita pizza. I've tried pasta but I really dislike the texture. I have never tried a curry simply because I loathe the smell and Chinese - If I think about it, their food is mostly chopped up in a sauce and I prefer to see and eat a whole piece of meat, ie chicken breast. I also dislike garlic, spices, and other things.

I've often wondered if it's hereditary. Whenever my parents went to France for a weekend, my DF would take emergency rations of cream crackers and cheddar cheese. Grin

PattyPan · 18/03/2021 17:50

@Crankley do you eat foreign versions of things like roasts and chops? Eg coq au vin, beef bourguignon, stifado?

SchrodingersImmigrant · 18/03/2021 17:54

Only English food must be pretty hard diet. How far back the food family tree goes?
We had this on another thread and it ended up with Anglo Saxon😂 Interesting read

Shinyletsbebadguys · 18/03/2021 18:19

@ScoobyCat

Shinyletsbebadguys

I find it distasteful to have to say oh I am autistic and from a working class background therefore my opinion of this being offensive is more valid than anyone else’s.

My opinion is my opinion, no more valid than yours or anyone else’s, and that is that these threads always have a sneery undertone at people who had to eat cheap
shit food because their parents couldn’t afford decent stuff/ didn’t have the time /energy/skills to cook properly- it’s always the majority of working class people. And lucky for the people who were poor whose parents had access/time for allotments, it doesn’t change the circumstances for those who didn’t.

If you don’t agree it’s offensive that’s fine, but it doesn’t mean that some people won’t find it rude and offensive.

Much like the sentence he’s neurotypical, got a proper job and everything which to me is saying that to having a proper job is an indicator of being neurotypical. You might not think that is a real shitty ‘turn of phrase’ to use but I do.

You expressed it on an open forum and you can find my post as distasteful as you wish. Its just as distasteful to me to attempt to belittle my opinion by attempting to imply I shouldn't challenge yours. As much as you feel that there was disabllsm I get extremely frustrated that it is cried in a scenario like this which often paints us as complaining over everything which entirely loses the message when there is real discrimination.

Your post is intensely sneery at mine particularly in that you couldn'tbe bothered to actually read it and respond properly....I am not autistic and I did not say that, I would certainly have far more respect for it if you hadn't responded in such a fashion. Its entirely relevant that I fit those situations because it makes the point I have no interest in propagating those stereotypes. I also did not claim in anyway my opinion was more valid at all. That is not something you can choose to see because it was not there.

I am going to politely absent myself because whilst I have no problem being challenged I have no intention of engaging further when my response was so highly butchered in order to fit an agenda.

Crankley · 18/03/2021 18:39

PattyPan
@Crankley do you eat foreign versions of things like roasts and chops? Eg coq au vin, beef bourguignon, stifado?

No, because they contain garlic which I don't eat, although I've no idea what stifado is.

SchrodingersImmigrant
Only English food must be pretty hard diet

Obviously not for me. I like good quality meat, only buy free range/organic - London butcher delivers to me periodically to stock the freezer. I can easily go three weeks or more if I choose not to repeat a dish, I eat fish too and some shellfish, eg prawns. I don't eat the same thing every day, Smile Potatoes are my carb of choice.

I'm amazed how many people on here appear to be reliant on pasta. If I read a thread talking about usual dinners, pasta appears to be quite a prominent part of some people's diet.

I remember my DM trying to cook spag bol for the first time - she was going to add three strands of spaghetti to the pot per person (convinced that they expanded in water) until I showed her a cookbook. Grin

PattyPan · 18/03/2021 18:54

@Crankley if you’re cooking you don’t have to put garlic in if you don’t like it though! Stifado is a Greek stew with beef, onions and red wine.
We eat pasta probably once a week, alternated with rice, potatoes, couscous, noodles etc. When I was a student my university provided such a potato-heavy diet (I’m sure the chef could have written 101 ways to eat a potato) that I didn’t eat them for a year after I left because I was so sick of them almost every day for 3 years! Now that I have them less I appreciate them more Grin