My GP was lovely. But my last appointment left me broken. Having gone on holiday for two weeks to a very high risk covid area (the GP not believing covid was actually a risk) they came back to work the following day, told me I was severely depressed and very unwell and to go back ten days later. I was frightened as they said they'd just come back from Italy but they laughed, I'd also had a shielding letter from my specialist and had no safe help, told not to worry my appointments would remain as I was so ill and couldn't get appointments, and a friend had recently ended their life.
My appointment ten days later they went for me for turning up. And I mean went for me. Called me selfish. Told me the staff were all off with covid because of me (they weren't they were off due to sheilding) no appointments as I had plenty of support (people who have read my posts before will know that two of the my abusers were allowed to work as volunteers, not prosecuted, and allowed access to my data). They didn't care. They complained about needing to work. People like me were ungrateful and unfair and rude. Why didn't I feel more sorry for them for being forced to work? I knew their partner was a hospital consultant so they'd both be forced to be off because I selfishly turned up in a taxi. People were dying because of me (I've lost people close to me to covid and it was horrific and I blame myself). Didn't I know everything was going to be closed indefinitely from now on (not surprised at all that people panic bought everything if GPs were telling people things like that). I needed to have "more respect" for them in s horrific job and I could simply buy a new phone or borrow one from friends/family I'd mentioned (abusive family that'd be) then told me only phone calls from then on or online. If I couldn't access (and I can't) I was to just pop to the shop and buy brand new. There was zero consideration for where the money was to come from (prompting a lecture about me needing to understand how little they earnt). If I got covid I'd be left to die as I'm dying anyway.
Then I was told to stop being silly and they were stopping the daily medication I was on that prevented me ending my life because daily collection meant others would die and I was being selfish and irresponsible. I didn't argue I was so devastated I was actually glad they were helping me end my life but knew the pharmacy wouldn't give me meds to end my life, gp refused me a a letter and consequently they stayed in place. I'm supposed to be seen weekly, due to being high risk but it's been a year now.
I missed my friends service (I was only one allowed to go) to go through that because the surgery sent me a letter telling me to attend. I've not been more than half a mile from my door step in years. Yet that GP not only recent to that appointment but since then has been repeatedly to Italy to ski and blames me for covid.
But worse than that I'm the gullible idiot who put them and the surgery forward for awards for my care, and, they didn't really give a shit. I got home from that appointment in tears to find my rapist at my door because he'd been allowed to become my volunteer. No one gave a shit. I even had threads on here removed about it, being called irresponsible for not sheilding. How could I? Knowing he was allowed to volunteer? That another abusers was also allowed to volunteer? Why? Because the police did nothing so they had full DBS.
Now I've no appointments. No treatment and facing dwp fraud charges, I feel a total fool for thinking I was good enough to be helped. More than two dozen safeguarding reports have been made about my health by the pharmacy, alone. All ignored and dismissed.
The NHS is broken. When I worked for them I sat in seminars about global pandemic, which the NHS would hold every few years and it was utter bullshit excuses. Anyone who said so was given short shrift and shown the door. This is what they decided in a sentence "the uk will not be effected because it is an island". Seriously.