To wonder if my life will ever be worry free?

[yearinyearout]

Does anyone have a worry free life? Well one where they don't feel the need to worry about other people?

When I say worry I don't mean sitting fretting all the time, but just constantly having "stuff" on my mind.

I guess I'm a "sandwich generation" so have grown up dc and parents still around. Worrying about dc and whether they will ever get on the property ladder (trying at the moment) I get that it's a dc issue not mine but doesn't stop me thinking about it.

Also have dm with stage four cancer and now DF is having to have further tests for a low white cell count. We were just about managing with him being the main carer for dm while we try and shield them both by doing shopping and errands...if he gets ill as well it'll be a nightmare.

Trying to stay calm about it all because me getting in a state doesn't help anyone...and wondering if I'll ever only have my own problems to ponder over, and not everyone else's as well!

Are you well, physically? Maybe focus on that as a positive. I worry too, mostly about health, after recovering from cancer. I have a lot of uncomfortable side effects from my treatment but when I start to dwell on them I tell myself how much worse I would feel if the treatment hadn’t worked. I worry about grown up dc too; property ladder , will I ever have a grandchild 😄 ( I know they don’t owe me any!) but when those thoughts intrude I tell myself that they are well and happy and that is what matters. We can only live the day we gave, so maybe there are some similar positives to focus on.

The day we have *

My dads got this say ‘if you ain’t got nothing you ain’t got nothing to worry about’ I think it’s good bring perspective x

I always have something to worry about, and when I finally think everything is good and ok, something like a global pandemic happens to help me have some more worry in my life

I think I'm just an anxious person and I don't even think therapy would help me!

Are you well, physically?

Yes I'm fairly well physically. Making sure I get out walking every day although I'm looking forward to getting back to the gym. I think I probably need to get some mindfulness apps or something, just so I can empty my mind sometimes.

I keep saying that once XX is sorted I'll be free from worry and start enjoying life again however by the time XX is sorted there's something else to worry about...
It feels neverending and I don't think I've been worry-free any of my adult life.

@Spied yes, that's exactly how I feel. Was just dealing with dm being ill then the bloody pandemic started...now looking like there might be light at the end of the tunnel with that so was starting to think about getting away on holiday. If DF becomes ill as well that'll put paid to that.

I think part of my problem is that I'm a bit of a control freak and I need everything to be in order. Uncertainty makes me very uncomfortable so I like everything 'sorted' including those around me or I can't seem to let go and feel true contentment.
I often find myself looking for those inspirational quotes that will make the lightbulb moment in my head and I will emerge serene but I haven't yet found it .
Seriously though, feeling like this is horrible and really affects life and takes away it's simple pleasures.

I try and just live life with a “I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it” attitude. I’m in my 50s now and in life I’ve seen that worrying in advance of anything is pointless. You don’t know what will happen next so worrying in itself is really just playing out different scenarios in your head. That can at times be useful if you are able to come up with solutions but even then something else can come along and change it. There are things I could be worrying about right now but it wouldn’t help matters and would only cause me stress.

Both my adult DC are in less than ideal circumstances right now but if I ask myself what can I do about that today? The answer is nothing. So no point giving it head space. It probably helps that I’m overall optimistic so tend to have an attitude of things will sort themselves out.