I’m going to start a Shit Daughters Club- anyone care to join me?

[AngeloMysterioso]

Reasons why I’m a shit/selfish daughter (according to my DM)

• I changed my WhatsApp privacy settings so I no longer have a last seen status or send read receipts. This, I’m told, is rude and unfriendly.

• I went for a walk with DH and DS on Sunday. I’m on the shielding list (as is my DM, not that it’s stopped her meeting people or having her cleaner round) but because I’m a student my DS is still in childcare for two days during the week while I have online lessons, and I didn’t want to further increase the risk by going to see my DM. This was apparently selfish because I have “two mothers to consider”. By this she meant herself and my MIL- apparently I don’t count as a mother on Mother’s Day. Even though I’ve only had two of them and they’ve both been in lockdown.

• I sent her a moonpig Mother’s Day card. That made her feel like an afterthought. It may be worth mentioning that my brother is NC with her so my “afterthought” moonpig card will have been a damn shit sight better than the less than fuck all she’s had from him for the last decade.

So there we have it. Can anybody beat me to the title of shittest daughter? Is there a lower rung on the ladder of shit daughterness than that which I currently occupy?

Sorry but my first thought at reading that was I can't blame your brother for not having contact with her for the past decade. I don't know the ins and outs of why that happened, obviously, but right now it sounds like you'd benefit from going NC too.

Sounds like your brother gave her what she deserves and you should too. I am sorry she is like that

Is Katie Hopkins on MN?

I got written out of the will because I dared to beg my mum to seek help for her alcohol addiction thus proving what a shit daughter I am

I've nothing to add, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're dealing with that. It sounds very difficult & hurtful.

No, no. Not the shit daughters club.
This is the 'I've got a shit mother' club.
And it sounds like you have an olympic-standard one there.

Mothers' day should be about you primarily, as you are the one doing the active mothering with great intensity! Granny and MIL did their stint years ago.

You're not shit, OP, she is.
For you

OMFG.

You are not a shit daughter.

I'll join. My alcoholic mother has a selective memory and has completely rewritten out history to put the blame on me. I'm exhausted with it.

I sent my mum flowers for Mother's Day.

My brother sent flowers, an afternoon tea and a card, and my mum sent me a gloating message with a photo about how wonderful it was. She always does this, pits me again brother, like its a competition.

I really don't give a shit. Honestly. If I'm a shit daughter (having married a man she didn't like, brought up a daughter who can stand up for herself, didn't qualify in the profession I went to uni for, work in a job she can't brag about to her friends) then I'm ok with who I am.

I'm a terrible daughter too because I don't go and stay with my mother every school holiday (pre covid obvs).

I'll join.

I am shit daughter because I have stopped telling her much about my life.

I have stopped telling her much about my life because :

If she considers it a big deal, everyone is told, regardless of if I ask otherwise.

If she is not interested, she literally cuts me off, regardless of how important it is to me to a trivial topic about which I have already heard all that there is to hear.

I am a shit daughter because I wont sit in her house and allow her other child to verbally abuse me

I am shit daughter because I wont take more of an interest in her breathtakingly rude, extremely bad behaved grandchild.

I'm a shit daughter because I haven't provided any grandchildren. I also don't like girly things like shopping or nail appointments together. I'm a huge letdown.

Ah I misunderstood. I thought my story was relevant here:

My best friend was widowed young. Her teenage boys forgot Mother’s Day every year. One year I bombarded them with texts in the run up to MD to make sure they didn't forget again.

Unfortunately, that year I forgot to do anything for my own mother. And to make it worse, she was staying with my aunt whose perfect children had arranged lunch, flowers, chocolates, long phone calls, the lot.

I was a shit daughter indeed.

As PP have said, you lot have shit mothers.

Last year our family dog died. At the vets I ordered ink prints and casting of her paw print , in front of my mother and asked her did she want to order any. She said no, the next day the vets got back to me with a price and again I informed her of this incase she wanted her own copies.The dog was cremated and my mementos which I paid for arrived and all hell broke loose. She lied and told everyone that I ordered these without her knowledge and that I was denying her these keep sakes from her dog. Even my sibling got involved , screaming abuse at me and telling me I was a shit daughter to do this to my mother. I blocked them both, kept the prints and now I've lived happy ever after. After a life time of manipulation and being the scapegoat... I finally had enough.

I bought her Toblerone and apparently it's smaller than usual and I went with the cheaper option.

it was a fucking fiver!

I'm a shit daughter too. I was fine for decades and then over the space of a few weeks I became shit and hated. Absolutely no idea why, I truly haven't.
She was always a pretty shit mum though but I still loved her and cared for her.
Got written out of the will and discarded. It was life shattering but I survived and recovered.
Her loss.

Mine essential told me to get lost yesterday after I dared to ask what happened with my dad’s estate after he died last year without a will.

I’m a shit daughter cos I dared cut off my mum for trying to force me back with my ex so she could have the council flat I was rehomed in due to abuse.
I’m a shit daughter cos I dared get upset she fooled around with said ex husband.
I’m a shit daughter as apparently I stole £10000 off her when she got the finances from her divorce. All the family believed her (me sat in a council flat with nothing to my name!!!)
I’m a shit daughter cos I got fed up of her manipulation and lies and said enough was enough!!
Apparently I’m the devil child according to her! I’ll take that!! 😈😂

I'm a shit daughter because:

I didn't follow exactly in her footsteps and had 3 children before I was 27, send them all to private Catholic schools and be a SAHM. Even worse, I didn't have children at all.

I don't tell the minutiae of my life - because she has no boundaries and will share everything with all and sundry even if asked not to.

I don't wail and act like she's a death's door because she has the annoying but not terminal health problems that most nearly 80 year olds have. I fell for her bullshit about her health once and ended up wasting thousands of pounds travelling at very short notice to the other side of the world for what turned out to be a mild angina episode (confirmed to me by her doctor, in front of her). She had had me convinced she was about to drop dead of a massive coronary. It was amusing to see the death glare she gave her doctor though...

My brother sent flowers, an afternoon tea and a card, and my mum sent me a gloating message with a photo about how wonderful it was. She always does this, pits me again brother, like its a competition.

Mine does this. My sister and I both sent flowers this year. Hers arrived on Saturday. When she spoke to our mother on Sunday, she was told "I got a lovely big bouquet from Croc this morning, so yours have been moved into a smaller vase."

DSis didn't tell her that hers arrived early because she didn't want to pay the extra for Sunday delivery, and I didn't tell her that mine were bigger than usual because I left it so late and the mid range ones were all sold out.

I'm a terrible daughter because I can't drop everything to chat on the phone multiple times a day, usually about absolutely nothing.

I was also told she had me and my siblings so she'd have someone to care for her, and is most perturbed that my children come first.

I'm a shit daughter because on mother's Day I didn't go to see her. She's an hour away, we're in lockdown and shes supposed to be shielding as is my Dad. I sent a card and a three course meal box from a nice restaurant. It wasn't right, I should have gone there myself. Whatever, I'm done.

Oh and I'm a shit daughter because I'm not my brother. He has golden child status despite having made some pretty awful life decisions. A status he's welcome to tbh.

Ha ha yes also same as @KurtWilde. My golden boy brother can do no wrong

Can a random son join or do I need to form a shit sons club?

My DM is literally the least festive person you will ever meet. She told me when I was tiny that santa was a lie just so she didn't have to bother pretending. Ever since then she has gone out of her way to spoil anything that happens that might require some element of caring or thoughtfulness.

My little brother and I would be sent to opposite ends of the dining room table to wrap each others presents on christmas eve. That is what I'm talking about.

This f**king woman has the audacity to complain when you get her something for any occasion - "why did you get me marks and spencers vouchers, I don't want to go there, couldn't you have bought me some cigarettes or something I might actually find useful?". That kind of thing is common place.

When I first started seeing my then GF (DW for more than 20 years now - huzzah!) I was stumped for what to get my DM for her birthday so GF suggested flowers, her favorite moisturiser and some chocolates. She literally threw the flowers back at me and bollocked me for wasting time and money. She told me to give them to GF as she would put them straight in the bin.

Ever since that I haven't bothered with Christmas / Birthdays beyond anything more than a casual phone call.

I didn't get around to ringing her on Sunday and I just know I will hear some shit next time I am unlucky enough to talk to her.